Alhamdullilah, we're really lucky that we are designed in a way to keep our private thoughts to ourselves. Islamically we are not even judged for our thoughts. They are simple pleasures for our own delight and entertainment.
Now imagine, if you will, a crazy mishap where we wear our thoughts on our shirts, not so unlike wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Imagine what would happen? Imagine walking around and being able to read, literally, everyone's thoughts. Nothing would be secret anymore.
If you had to wear what was on your mind 24/7 on your shirt, how would your shirt read?
I <3 DUCKIES?
SHOW ME YOUR GOODIES?
HOW DID I END UP WITH HIM?
GOT POT?
I HATE MY JOB!
LET'S PLAY!
I'M GOING TO PUKE?
I for one would be in a mental dressing room, forever changing my shirt with each racing thought.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
ALLEGEDLY
Did you ever want to make something seem scandelous or more interesting on purpose? Are you bored of your life and all its Mondays? If you ever find yourself in the most moodiest and crapiest of days and/or figure everyone around you is purposely annoying you, I have a surefire trick to bring a smile to your face and cause everyone to want to throw themselves off very tall buildings. You simply say your sentences but casually insert the word allegedly at the end of each statement or story.
al·leged –adjective
1. declared or stated to be as described; asserted: The alleged murderer could not be located for questioning.
2.doubtful; suspect; supposed: The alleged cure-all produced no results when it was tested by reputable doctors.
al·lege –verb (used with object), -leged, -leg·ing.
1. to assert without proof.
2.to declare with positiveness; affirm; assert: to allege a fact.
3.to declare before a court or elsewhere, as if under oath.
4.to plead in support of; offer as a reason or excuse.
5.Archaic. to cite or quote in confirmation.
Supervisor: Is your presentation ready?
Co-worker: Yes, allegedly.
Supervisor: You think you can handle it?
Co-worker: I think I can handle it, allegedly.
Supervisor takes a pause.
Co-worker: Am I fired?
Supervisor: Allegedly. :D
Husband: Honey, did you get the oil changed?
Wife: Yes, dear, allegedly.
Husband: Do we still have a car?
See the difference:
Scenario A:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008.
Co-worker#2: Are there any more donuts on the table?
Scenario B:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008...allegedly.
Co-worker#2: DUDE! You hit that didnt you? On the conference table, you dawg! You da MAN!
(Co-worker#3..aka ME: I hope you moved the donuts. You moved them didnt you? For the love of God, did you move them? They're gone arent they? Ahh, DAMNNN!) :P
Mother: Did you take out the trash yet?
Son: I took out the trash, allegedly.
Mother: Did you clean your room?
Son: I cleaned my room, allegedly.
Mother: Boy you better give me a straight answer or else Im going to put my foot up your ass.... allegedly!
Ma: Eid Mubarak.
Me: We're celebrating on Friday, allegedly.
Ma: Did you clean your apartment?
Me: I cleaned my apartment, allegedly.
Ma: Did you pack your suitcase yet?
Me: I have thought about packing my suitcase, allegedly.
Ma: (finally picking up on the theme) What? You either did or you didnt.
Me: Im mentally preparing myself to pack my suitcase...
Ma waits.
Me: Allegedly.
Ma: Oh for God's sake! (insert explicatives, here, here, and THERE!)
If this conversation took place Im sure she would have slapped me twice. Allegedly? No, that one Im sure of! :D
Its a lot of fun. Try it out for yourself, but do be careful. Things could get a little ugly...allegedly!
al·leged –adjective
1. declared or stated to be as described; asserted: The alleged murderer could not be located for questioning.
2.doubtful; suspect; supposed: The alleged cure-all produced no results when it was tested by reputable doctors.
al·lege –verb (used with object), -leged, -leg·ing.
1. to assert without proof.
2.to declare with positiveness; affirm; assert: to allege a fact.
3.to declare before a court or elsewhere, as if under oath.
4.to plead in support of; offer as a reason or excuse.
5.Archaic. to cite or quote in confirmation.
Supervisor: Is your presentation ready?
Co-worker: Yes, allegedly.
Supervisor: You think you can handle it?
Co-worker: I think I can handle it, allegedly.
Supervisor takes a pause.
Co-worker: Am I fired?
Supervisor: Allegedly. :D
Husband: Honey, did you get the oil changed?
Wife: Yes, dear, allegedly.
Husband: Do we still have a car?
See the difference:
Scenario A:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008.
Co-worker#2: Are there any more donuts on the table?
Scenario B:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008...allegedly.
Co-worker#2: DUDE! You hit that didnt you? On the conference table, you dawg! You da MAN!
(Co-worker#3..aka ME: I hope you moved the donuts. You moved them didnt you? For the love of God, did you move them? They're gone arent they? Ahh, DAMNNN!) :P
Mother: Did you take out the trash yet?
Son: I took out the trash, allegedly.
Mother: Did you clean your room?
Son: I cleaned my room, allegedly.
Mother: Boy you better give me a straight answer or else Im going to put my foot up your ass.... allegedly!
Ma: Eid Mubarak.
Me: We're celebrating on Friday, allegedly.
Ma: Did you clean your apartment?
Me: I cleaned my apartment, allegedly.
Ma: Did you pack your suitcase yet?
Me: I have thought about packing my suitcase, allegedly.
Ma: (finally picking up on the theme) What? You either did or you didnt.
Me: Im mentally preparing myself to pack my suitcase...
Ma waits.
Me: Allegedly.
Ma: Oh for God's sake! (insert explicatives, here, here, and THERE!)
If this conversation took place Im sure she would have slapped me twice. Allegedly? No, that one Im sure of! :D
Its a lot of fun. Try it out for yourself, but do be careful. Things could get a little ugly...allegedly!
Monday, December 17, 2007
25 to Life - Awaiting Parole
Exchanging one set of rings for another. I once asked a 'married-at-18' friend what it was like to be married so young. "Aren't you sad at not being able to live on your own, go out and travel the world, be a free-spirit for just a little while longer? Married at 18 sounds like a prison sentence." Acknowledging my queries as love rather than mockery, she merely shrugged her shoulders and accepted what was decided or planned for her, if you will.
Fast forward ten years to me sifting through all the nagging, "Don't-you-want-to-be-married?" questions while dodging the now 28 year old mother of three at all costs whatsoever.
What have I done? Where have I travelled? Why don't I feel free? The past 25 years feel like a cruel joke twisted in irony worse than just imagining green grass at the other side of the fence. A double-edged sword/glass all empty kind of sick reality. How much of my sentence is left? Have I been rehabilitated? Is there any chance of parole? Do I get anything for my good behavior? Solitary confinement will make you do some pretty crazy things. Am I liable for it all? Can I plead insanity, or is it too late?
Don't PROFILE me BRO!
If you don't get this joke, you really do need to come out of your cave!
Ohh what people will do for a little bit of youtube notoriety! That's it? That's what our generation will go down in history for: who can come up with the biggest youtube prank? Ridiculous. Back in the day college and universities held knowledge which drove people seeking enlightenment insane. Forget the thirst for knowledge, we don't even have cups!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Do You See What I See?
Last night while watching television my younger sister asked me a question. "When you think of Allah (swt) do you have an image that comes to mind?", she asked.
She's nine years younger to me, has always and will always be thought of by me as my baby sister, so you can imagine my surprise when she came to me with one of my favorite questions ever!
Yes, I replied instantaneously, overjoyed that she was taking out the time from DEAL OR NO DEAL to get down and philosophical with me on something other than holiday shopping or whether or not a certain rapper is really muslim as he says he is. I told her my image and she laughed and told me hers.
When it has been proven that no two people have the same fingerprint patterns, even twins with the same genetic code, how can it be that we will all have the same concept of Allah (swt)? Isn't it part of His glorification for us to come up with as many unique ways as we can to see Him in every aspect of life? Our concept of Allah (swt) is the same: One, supreme, all-knowing, merciful, but what that means to us individually is very different.
For me, when I think of Allah (swt) I think of an old man, very long white beard, in a white robe with a hood and an intense light source behind Him, illuminating Him so that I cannot make out features other than a very pretty long straight, thin nose.
I realize this image of a Gandalf-like Allah (swt) is borrowed from popular thought, but think about it: How else do you explain the inexplainable? We're human, its natural to have an image come to mind. What's your image? Some people say their image is one of the endless horizon.. where sky meets the sea at sunset, water in the Sahara desert, green grass and fertile fields, a babys laughter, mother's smile, etc. You cannot praise Allah (swt) and have your mental screen go blank or snowy, can you? Do you? How do you picture Allah (swt)?
It never ceases to amaze me how Muslims can state that Allah (swt) is merciful, yet continue harp on all the things that will force Him to throw us into Hell. My Allah is merciful, knows we're humans not above making mistakes and its ok to ask for forgiveness and expect to be forgiven. Otherwise, whats the point of His mercy if you dont believe you're entitled to it?
However you choose to allow your mind to comprehend His mercy and His greatness, realizing that we have no idea and will not until its all said and done gives us more appreciation for His uniqueness. Explain it how you will, and if someone tries to tell you that you're wrong tell them their guess is as good as yours.
She's nine years younger to me, has always and will always be thought of by me as my baby sister, so you can imagine my surprise when she came to me with one of my favorite questions ever!
Yes, I replied instantaneously, overjoyed that she was taking out the time from DEAL OR NO DEAL to get down and philosophical with me on something other than holiday shopping or whether or not a certain rapper is really muslim as he says he is. I told her my image and she laughed and told me hers.
When it has been proven that no two people have the same fingerprint patterns, even twins with the same genetic code, how can it be that we will all have the same concept of Allah (swt)? Isn't it part of His glorification for us to come up with as many unique ways as we can to see Him in every aspect of life? Our concept of Allah (swt) is the same: One, supreme, all-knowing, merciful, but what that means to us individually is very different.
For me, when I think of Allah (swt) I think of an old man, very long white beard, in a white robe with a hood and an intense light source behind Him, illuminating Him so that I cannot make out features other than a very pretty long straight, thin nose.
I realize this image of a Gandalf-like Allah (swt) is borrowed from popular thought, but think about it: How else do you explain the inexplainable? We're human, its natural to have an image come to mind. What's your image? Some people say their image is one of the endless horizon.. where sky meets the sea at sunset, water in the Sahara desert, green grass and fertile fields, a babys laughter, mother's smile, etc. You cannot praise Allah (swt) and have your mental screen go blank or snowy, can you? Do you? How do you picture Allah (swt)?
It never ceases to amaze me how Muslims can state that Allah (swt) is merciful, yet continue harp on all the things that will force Him to throw us into Hell. My Allah is merciful, knows we're humans not above making mistakes and its ok to ask for forgiveness and expect to be forgiven. Otherwise, whats the point of His mercy if you dont believe you're entitled to it?
However you choose to allow your mind to comprehend His mercy and His greatness, realizing that we have no idea and will not until its all said and done gives us more appreciation for His uniqueness. Explain it how you will, and if someone tries to tell you that you're wrong tell them their guess is as good as yours.
In Pain
Why is it we only remember sound advice and wise words after the damage has already been done?I went out during my lunch break and got soup and hot coffee. Its freezing outside, I figured my soup had cooled enough. I took a huge spoonful and felt intense pain as the top layer of the roof of my mouth caught fire, then peeled off. It was only then that I had a flashback to my mother reminding me to blow on my food and make sure its cool before I begin. Ignoring all good sense, and having no other liquid near by, I took a huge swallow of my still scalding hot coffee.
Yes, I believe I actually felt my soul being lifted from my body. It hurts that much. I shall sit here in silence until the four-alarm ringing in my ears stops.
Speed Demon
I'm back to work after a two day break to trek down to my parents' to figure out some stuff, yell at a few people, scream, complain, threaten, and breathe, too. I had to check beforehand the possible penalty involved with mouthing off to consulate workers. The punishment didnt fit the crime and so I blogged about it instead!
I had to wake up bright and early this morning for my what was supposed to be a 2 1/2 hr drive in to work, but what ended up being longer due to traffic and rain. Made it too and all without coffee. Im so proud of myself as I sit here plotting about whose coffee to steal a sip from. :P
I wish it would just SNOW! Just do it and get it over with. I hate rain -- except when Im driving through puddles at mock speed splashing water all over people standing wayyy too damn close to the curb at the intersections. I learned a long time ago to backup when cars go by in the rain. An umbrella can only do so much.
I'm here, God dammit. And I am ready to work -- supercharged and waiting for my next needle biopsy. I have one essay to finish, one to proof-read, and one powerpoint project that I cannot wait to start.
Spread love people. :)
I had to wake up bright and early this morning for my what was supposed to be a 2 1/2 hr drive in to work, but what ended up being longer due to traffic and rain. Made it too and all without coffee. Im so proud of myself as I sit here plotting about whose coffee to steal a sip from. :P
I wish it would just SNOW! Just do it and get it over with. I hate rain -- except when Im driving through puddles at mock speed splashing water all over people standing wayyy too damn close to the curb at the intersections. I learned a long time ago to backup when cars go by in the rain. An umbrella can only do so much.
I'm here, God dammit. And I am ready to work -- supercharged and waiting for my next needle biopsy. I have one essay to finish, one to proof-read, and one powerpoint project that I cannot wait to start.
Spread love people. :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Countdown Begins...
Ok so you know how certain things can only be done during the weekday while most people are working and otherwise unable to enterain in these certain things. Well, sometimes it all accumulates and causes you to break away and run off to another dimension (aka parents' home) to figure and situate everything out.
We had issues with our visas for Pakistan and Ive been on the phone with these IDIOTS for forever and believe me it wasnt pretty. I almost broke out my punjabi gallies and you KNOW I only use those for special occasions.
Embassy Lady: Well, we need you to send a return envelope in order for us to EXPRESS MAIL everything back to you.
Me: EXCUSE ME??? We sent a return envelope with PRIORITY SHIPPING in the SAME envelope.
EL: Well, there is no return tracking number.
Me: You mean to tell me that the post office screwed up?
EL: Yes, they dont know what to do. You have to tell them and write a return by hand.
(WHAT?)
Me: I did. I wrote the return label myself. I had it added in the envelope as well. You mean to tell me that two separate post offices SCREWED up?? (my mom and sis had theirs sent from Maryland while I sent mine from Philly -- she said both offices messed up the tracking numbers -- I dont think so!)
EL: Well, ok. The philly one is fine. But the Maryland one is wrong.
Me: Now see, not two seconds ago the Philly one was wrong too. Ghalat fehmi aapse huwi hai -- dobara check ki jiaye! (yeah yeah... my wicked formal urdu)
EL: The Philly one is fine.
ME: (screaming at the top of my lungs) THEN MAIL THEM ALL TO PHILLY IN THE ONE RETURN ENVELOPE THAT IS RIGHT!
EL: Ok, fine. But it will be for three months. Not five years.
Me: Ek aur museebat? Why?
EL: Let me transfer you to [head honcho-- aka KAMINA IN CHARGE aka Executive Ustad Zaleel Sala Choudhry :)]
Me: Make sure you transfer right and dont hang up on me!
Now... here's the thing. Pa just got a five years visa. Theres no way Im paying the same amount of money to have Aloo Pakora Ji tell me its only good for three months. Screw that. Here's how that lovely conversation went:
Me: Im a US born citizen.
Embassy Sala: Ok, but I need you to send me your Pakistani passport.
Me: WHAT PAKISTANI PASSPORT??? I dont have a Pakistani passport.
ES: Phir aapko visa kioon chahiaye!?
LOL.....am I really having this conversation?
Me: Ok. Fine. Just put give it for three months. (Mera baap aye ga aur tujhe jahanum ka visa lagwaye ga!)
Great, now IM pissed again!
Ma: &^%^%$(*&*^^$%^^&)*(&$#*%!!!!!!!
Me: oh wow! I didnt know that one.
:P
We had issues with our visas for Pakistan and Ive been on the phone with these IDIOTS for forever and believe me it wasnt pretty. I almost broke out my punjabi gallies and you KNOW I only use those for special occasions.
Embassy Lady: Well, we need you to send a return envelope in order for us to EXPRESS MAIL everything back to you.
Me: EXCUSE ME??? We sent a return envelope with PRIORITY SHIPPING in the SAME envelope.
EL: Well, there is no return tracking number.
Me: You mean to tell me that the post office screwed up?
EL: Yes, they dont know what to do. You have to tell them and write a return by hand.
(WHAT?)
Me: I did. I wrote the return label myself. I had it added in the envelope as well. You mean to tell me that two separate post offices SCREWED up?? (my mom and sis had theirs sent from Maryland while I sent mine from Philly -- she said both offices messed up the tracking numbers -- I dont think so!)
EL: Well, ok. The philly one is fine. But the Maryland one is wrong.
Me: Now see, not two seconds ago the Philly one was wrong too. Ghalat fehmi aapse huwi hai -- dobara check ki jiaye! (yeah yeah... my wicked formal urdu)
EL: The Philly one is fine.
ME: (screaming at the top of my lungs) THEN MAIL THEM ALL TO PHILLY IN THE ONE RETURN ENVELOPE THAT IS RIGHT!
EL: Ok, fine. But it will be for three months. Not five years.
Me: Ek aur museebat? Why?
EL: Let me transfer you to [head honcho-- aka KAMINA IN CHARGE aka Executive Ustad Zaleel Sala Choudhry :)]
Me: Make sure you transfer right and dont hang up on me!
Now... here's the thing. Pa just got a five years visa. Theres no way Im paying the same amount of money to have Aloo Pakora Ji tell me its only good for three months. Screw that. Here's how that lovely conversation went:
Me: Im a US born citizen.
Embassy Sala: Ok, but I need you to send me your Pakistani passport.
Me: WHAT PAKISTANI PASSPORT??? I dont have a Pakistani passport.
ES: Phir aapko visa kioon chahiaye!?
LOL.....am I really having this conversation?
Me: Ok. Fine. Just put give it for three months. (Mera baap aye ga aur tujhe jahanum ka visa lagwaye ga!)
Great, now IM pissed again!
Ma: &^%^%$(*&*^^$%^^&)*(&$#*%!!!!!!!
Me: oh wow! I didnt know that one.
:P
Monday, December 10, 2007
Weekend Update
Do these glasses make me look fat? So I finally went to the local library Saturday morning and got a library card. Ive only been here, what, 18 months? Reading is a huge passion and Im thrilled that I get to take the train to and from work (30 minute commute one way) and have plenty of reading time.
Because I read fast, through persistence and speed reading, and because I have time to read I tend to go through books rather quickly, almost to the tune of a standard 250-300 page book a night. I refuse to spend any more money on books, so I resorting to checking them out. The only drawback: sometimes the books arent in circulation at the library, or they have been checked out already.
I love all kinds of books, but Im not too fond of non-fiction or biographies/auto-biographies. I would like to change this however. Right now Im really into scare-the-bejessus-out-of-you-cant-read-in-the-dark-too-scared-to-turn-the-page kind of books. I looked up the top ten scariest books of all time and decided on three.
1.) PREY- Michael Crichton (Juraisic Park)
2.) HELL HOUSE - Richard Matheson
3.) I AM LEGEND - Richard Matheson
The Richard Matheson books weren't in stock, not surprisingly. Most people are in a rush to finish I AM LEGEND before the movie starring Will Smith comes out at the end of this week. I might have to splurge for this one.
I had a wonderful weekend of reading, writing, Grey's Anatomy - season 2, and shopping.
Im reading Prey right now and its really good. Im not one to write reviews, but I'll see if I can put up a few words about it once I finish.
Divorce: Who's Got Their Hand In YOUR Genes?
pick your pick. one size doesn't fit all.
I was going through my blog posts and looking for unfinished work, stuff that had been started but never completed. I came across this article I had saved that asked in the title, "Is Divorce Hereditary?" and I realized I had to publish my thoughts.
Immediately off the top my gut reaction: Ugh. Humans will look for any and all excuses possible to come up with a claim exonerating them from accepting responsibilty for their actions and misconducts. This is so similar to the age-old search for a homosexuality gene.
When will people wake up and realize behaviors are learned and cannot all be medically explained. I can see where a man, otherwise docile in mannerisms has an accident where a metal pole goes through his frontal lobe, which houses personality, suddenly becomes a violent man -- yes, theres a medical connection and reason. But if instead of a metal pole, he meets with a head-on collison with alcohol, his change in attitude is not medically related.
There is no gene that causes people to date the same sex, choose to be divorced, get an abortion, smoke, or become serial killers. Why is it so hard for people to accept they're bad people because they did bad things? Why is it so hard for a gay man to stand up for why he feels attracted to other men? Why is it so hard for people to realize a Vegas wedding to someone they only knew for 34 minutes was not the result of a gene that suddenly decided to replicate and produce anti-marriage macrophages in the body gobbling up pro-marriage ideas?
People are to blame. We're responsible. We should step up and accept that we are capable of causing, caused, and will cause massive destruction. Actions are behaviors in motion. These behaviors are learned. Remember Pavlov's dog? We become accustomed to certain stimuli and respond even when the stimuli is no longer present. We do as we see. We react the only way we know how....sometimes forgetting that we are intelligent creatures succumbing instead to the animal inside.
Our environment plays a very important role, with certain expceptions of course. Certain parts of the globe do not view certain acts in the same way as another part. Certain behaviors would be accepted here whereas elsewhere they wouldnt be tolerate. Divorce isnt hereditary, but its not shocking to see a family where everyone is divorced. It's not genetics, its ethics. It's our environment. Its how easily a behavior becomes a conditioned response.
It's not Allah (swt) or the evil eye. It's us. We're the bad guys. What are we going to do about it? Look for a gene, make a vaccine to stop it's propagation, kill a behavior? Or realize we're different, realize our faults, accept responsibilty and move on?
So NOT Pakistani
I swear to you I'm not Pakistani. This presents somewhat of a huge problem wherein I am scheduled to be kidnapped/handled and dragged away to Pakistan at the end of this month. Being Pakistani is a state of mind, more so than an ethnicity or racial background. My state of mind is crazy but not nearly enough to be considered Pakistani. Shunned by all those Pakistani and cast off as Iraqi, Greek, Italian, and Jamaican?, I will prove to you why I am everything but Pakistani. (No hate mail please. Im definitely going, just saying that Im going to run into some trouble. I'll be prepared, don't worry.)1.) First and foremost, I hate mangoes and apparently this is the first and foremost indicator of Pakistani-ness. I lack the gene neccessary to enjoy mangoes. Not only do I hate mangoes I cannot stand to watch anyone eat mangoes. Traumatized from an early age of watching my family members sit around our kitchen table, slurping at the juices and scraping at the peels, fighting over dental floss. GROSS.
2.) I don't speak urdu, I speak something I call urdi -- an outrageous blending of two languages initiated by a lack of knowledge ending with a blaze indifference towards correcting the uniqueness. Don't get me wrong. I speak well. It's just that Pakistani people have some sort of an arrogance about them that makes them less inclined to associate with anything remotely resembling a hindi movie (in private of course is a different story). We learned most of our "urdu" from hindi movies (thanks to subtitles Im learning sanskrit as welll haha) so certain words or dialogues that I use are borrowed from hindi movies and I have been looked down upon by certain members of my extended family, one in particular who stated in shocked disbelief and horror: Thats not urdu, that's HINDI! Like I had the plague or something. Oh. MY. FREAKING. GOD. Get over it!
3.) Im not a fan of sawwnf (fennel). Ok, if the mango thing didnt make your heart stop, this admition will. I cant stand sawwnf. I dont like the way it smells, tastes, looks, or cooks. Actually, I give myself partial credit for this one -- I do like fennel water, but only after its been distilled over twenty times and you can hardly taste the saawnf. Saawnf, sapari, nothing. Traumatized, again, by my past where someone took colored-sugar coated saawnf and told me it was like sprinkles/jimmies. Retardedly blinded by my love to equate just about anything with sprinkles I dumped a whole mess onto my ice cream/kulfi thing. Gross. Gross. Gross.
4.) Dont get me started on the roohafzah. What the hell is that stuff? I made the mistake once.. just ONCE in my life mistaking what looked like and was told to me by some Auntie --whom I to this day still do not talk to --- to be strawberry milk. IT WAS MILK........with red rooafzah in it. The lies... the lies I tell ya.
5.) Moth balls. As I remember, 22 yrs back, everything smelled like moth balls. I knowwwwwwwww, I knowwwwwwwwww it keeps away bugs etc and whatnot but what the hell! --- people are ok with it? I'll take the bugs if it means getting rid of that God awful sme---no waiit.. HA. Forget it. Screw the bugs.. moth balls arent that bad. Does anyone know where I can get some, other than Pakistan? Walgreens, CVS?
6.) Im not too keen on shalwar kameez -- my mom and I got into this huge argument on Saturday night over me not wanting to wear shalwar kameez in Pakistan. Look --- I like the styles. I like the look. But in the end, Im a jeans and sweatshirt kind of girl --- winter, summer, fall, spring. My need for comfort far outweighs the beauty factor and honestly, who am I trying to impress in Pakistan anyway? Farah needs to be comfortable. I plan on travelling a lot in Pakistan. I refuse to hike a mountain in Bata heels. I have issues keeping my sneaker-laces tied, dealing with whether or not my shalwar string is tied? -- No thanks. No outrunning chipakalees and wondering where my dupatta is! :)
7.) Chai -- There better be a Starbuckwaas in Pakistan! :D
The end.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Intentions and Expectations
I know now from previous experience never to blog when Im angry, but it's been a half an hour and a cup of coffee since I lost my bagel. I think Im okay now.
Last night was RIDICULOUS to say the least...and it was ALL my fault in the worst way. Driving in to work on empty yesterday I reasoned with myself to put gas into my car after work. At night, deserted city, I leave the parking garage and head towards the gas station. I get there and cannot find my lone credit card in my wallet. WTH? Didn't I use it to pay with at the parking garage? Oh. Crap. Yes. Did I leave it in the machine? CRAP! --- ok I actually used the word that expresses the same emotion but begins with "f".
After panicking, I drive back into the city, go to the garage, ask the attendent if they found a credit card all the while pondering to myself 'who the hell would turn in liquid gold????'. Long story short, I find the credit card in my car, gas up, and go on my merry way until the next dilemma, which knowing me you know isnt too far behind.
As I was having dinner at my friends, I thought to myself about intentions and expectations. Its ok to have certain expectations in life, goals/aspirations and the like. We're entitled to expecting a certain level of decency from those close to us. What's not ok is to long jump (olympic gold medal style) to bizarre conclusions.
We're all guilty, but what we should do is take a step back and really dissect what it is thats bothering us to come to certain conclusions about someone and at who's expense.
If your knee-jerk reaction is to think the absolute worst about someone close to you's intentions and actions, then realize that's not a healthy realtionship. There is a theme of trust underlying this blogpost, but it goes deeper than trust. This is more elemental in thought -- how could you seriously think so low of someone you like so much? And if you do, then do you really like them as much as you think you do? If not, then cut them out completely.
It's not fair to anyone, them or you, to keep someone around who is going to make you feel negatively or question their motive -- not really question -- you're basically saying they meant you harm without giving them a chance.
Who suffers?
I cant stand people attempting to figure me out when there's really no point in figuring: Im right here... just ask. After I pass away, people can think what they want, say what they feel, analyze and critique what I really meant to say and how it came out. But so long as I am here and able to speak my mind, ask.
What's worse than the one trying to figure me out? The one who thinks he's got me all figured out. Buddy -- Im still trying, and honestly am not interested in your theories about me.
I don't know what I want, but I know what I dont need. I dont need someone to second guess, judge, accuse, excuse, bash, scandelize, verbalize, penalize, or specialize in me. I stand alone, on my own.
I want to realize my own faults, not be reminded of them by someone who isnt far from making them himself.
Last night was RIDICULOUS to say the least...and it was ALL my fault in the worst way. Driving in to work on empty yesterday I reasoned with myself to put gas into my car after work. At night, deserted city, I leave the parking garage and head towards the gas station. I get there and cannot find my lone credit card in my wallet. WTH? Didn't I use it to pay with at the parking garage? Oh. Crap. Yes. Did I leave it in the machine? CRAP! --- ok I actually used the word that expresses the same emotion but begins with "f".
After panicking, I drive back into the city, go to the garage, ask the attendent if they found a credit card all the while pondering to myself 'who the hell would turn in liquid gold????'. Long story short, I find the credit card in my car, gas up, and go on my merry way until the next dilemma, which knowing me you know isnt too far behind.
As I was having dinner at my friends, I thought to myself about intentions and expectations. Its ok to have certain expectations in life, goals/aspirations and the like. We're entitled to expecting a certain level of decency from those close to us. What's not ok is to long jump (olympic gold medal style) to bizarre conclusions.
We're all guilty, but what we should do is take a step back and really dissect what it is thats bothering us to come to certain conclusions about someone and at who's expense.
If your knee-jerk reaction is to think the absolute worst about someone close to you's intentions and actions, then realize that's not a healthy realtionship. There is a theme of trust underlying this blogpost, but it goes deeper than trust. This is more elemental in thought -- how could you seriously think so low of someone you like so much? And if you do, then do you really like them as much as you think you do? If not, then cut them out completely.
It's not fair to anyone, them or you, to keep someone around who is going to make you feel negatively or question their motive -- not really question -- you're basically saying they meant you harm without giving them a chance.
Who suffers?
I cant stand people attempting to figure me out when there's really no point in figuring: Im right here... just ask. After I pass away, people can think what they want, say what they feel, analyze and critique what I really meant to say and how it came out. But so long as I am here and able to speak my mind, ask.
What's worse than the one trying to figure me out? The one who thinks he's got me all figured out. Buddy -- Im still trying, and honestly am not interested in your theories about me.
I don't know what I want, but I know what I dont need. I dont need someone to second guess, judge, accuse, excuse, bash, scandelize, verbalize, penalize, or specialize in me. I stand alone, on my own.
I want to realize my own faults, not be reminded of them by someone who isnt far from making them himself.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
LATER
Dec. 5, 2007 12:44a
"Good night. We can talk later"
Webster's cites over 25 definitions for the word "later" generally meant to denote a time other than now, right now, this very instant.
"Ambiguity pervades the human condition." I get it now.
Why are we humans so quick to put off til tomorrow what can be accomplished today? Where is there a guarantee that there will even be a tomorrow? Whats the reason for waiting? Is it to wait until the rain stops? Til the voices in your head stop? Til the cows come home? Til the Day of Judgement? Til you have a clue what you're going to say? Til something more important?
Aha. Im not really upset about the wait part so much as I am ticked off that it really got under my skin. Oh and that I cared enough to bother to look up definitions and write about it.
What are we waiting for?
...what am I waiting for?
"Good night. We can talk later"
Webster's cites over 25 definitions for the word "later" generally meant to denote a time other than now, right now, this very instant.
"Ambiguity pervades the human condition." I get it now.
Why are we humans so quick to put off til tomorrow what can be accomplished today? Where is there a guarantee that there will even be a tomorrow? Whats the reason for waiting? Is it to wait until the rain stops? Til the voices in your head stop? Til the cows come home? Til the Day of Judgement? Til you have a clue what you're going to say? Til something more important?
Aha. Im not really upset about the wait part so much as I am ticked off that it really got under my skin. Oh and that I cared enough to bother to look up definitions and write about it.
What are we waiting for?
...what am I waiting for?
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Toxic People - I Hate Everybody! :(
(Warning: RANT thats been held in too long ahead)Ive had enough of some people! Enough. I am so damn through being nice. So damn through. Im tired of putting everyone and their mom first before anything and everything remotely related to or associated with me. Im done caring, Im done understanding, Im done overcompensating, through with relating.
Im tired of the people who have the nerve to call you in the middle of the night to bitch about someone who did them wrong only to have wronged you in the same way not even 14hrs earlier.
Im tired of asking everyone how not only they are doing but their mothers, fathers, neighbors and neighbor's in-laws as well and getting nothing back. WTF? I realize good deeds arent boomerangs and therefore you shouldnt wait for them to come back but COME ONNN let's be honest -- no one does a good deed for no reason. Its either giving to receive or your one way ticket to Jannah, but its still always for something. Im through with seeing no return on my investments! Had it!
I'm through bending over backwards for everyone and having no one even willing to move a quarter of an inch for me. Is it so much to ask for to want someone to jump through hoops for me? Its not like Im asking someone to tightrope over highrises without a safety net. Im asking for mutual respect and some decency to be given back.
Do unto me as you would want done unto you punks! Im not asking much. Oh, and if you really want to be treated this way, then screw you! Im better off without you!
In short, I hate everybody. Goodbye. :(
....ok wait. Thats not true. Not everybody. Just some people who feel as though God created the world to revolve around them. Ok, I realize it's been a while since I learned about the solar system... but Im pretty sure the day doesnt thats not the case sweetie -- so buck up and deal with your own shit cuz the world is not just your playground ho!
Its no fun being taken advantage of. People -- realize your actions have consequences and if youre dealing with a female (esp me) know that everything you do will be analyzed, blogged about, dissected and later resurrected when need be.
So dont screw up. Think about what you say and do. And be mindful of the one who helps you out or who was there for you. Think about how many things you have done for that person. And if that list comes up shorter than what they have done for you --- buy a gun from Walmart and shoot yourself in your pinky toe!
Yes, Im PMSing but thats not to excuse my feelings. These are real. PMS will only excuse my telling the jerk in the elevator who reeked of smoke that he was going to die of lung cancer! :D
Monday, December 03, 2007
Death of a Faithful Friend
My laptop has died. He passed away Saturday afternoon, quietly in my arms, resting on my lap. Inspiron 8600, aka Lappie, was a mean machine. Fast, furious, and full of space in its youthful days. I almost lost him once last year but was able to resuscitate him enough to last another 17 months. My first love, my first laptop. Took with him tons of memories, pictures of good times and programs (because I, again, forgot to backup my work). He was three and a half years old.
Inallilahi wa inna ilayhi jajioon.
He will be missed.
Inallilahi wa inna ilayhi jajioon.
He will be missed.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Hormonal+Lack of Sleep x Elderly Suffering = Disaster
Working on no sleep and two sips of coffee, I get called up to a needle biopsy. While I am up there working on a patient, in the hallway hell breaks loose and we come to find out that a mental ward patient is having a procedure done, as well. He freaks out and screams at the top of his lungs over and over, "Stop hurting me! Why are you doing this to me!?", HELP ME SOMEONE! GOD HELP ME!"
OK my tough girl exterior is a facade -- no the sight of kittens does not make me teary-eyed, well ok fine ONCE, but there are two things that do ciphon water from my eyes:
1.) Allah's mercy
2.) the suffering of the elderly and young children
I tried to ignore his cries, I tried to breath deep, I tried to name everything by color (this activity totally works as a diversion when the dam threatens to break): white floor with specks of brown, brown door, yellow walls, tan table, deep breath...pheew -- "SOMEBODY HELP ME" -- AUUUGHH!!!!!! Its back! I ran to the elevator and pushed the button for down repeatedly as if doing so would force the elevator to my floor quicker. As the doors were closing, my hold on myself broke. One tear, two tear, three tear, twelve.
Everytime I cry, at this age, I go through this whole search and destroy mode in my head: seek out the invader and destroy it -- nothing should make me cry at this age.
Running to my attending's office, clutching the biospy in alternating hands, trying to rub away evidence from my eyes and find my confidence I walk into her office. We sit down to review my slides, my attending, our fellow and a resident.
I sit down at the scope and already I know its a lost cause. Thoughts of how vulnerable the elderly are, feeling sorry, physically shook up by his screams, helpless because nothing can be done for him....
I cant even bring myself to talk about the case. Im still trying to calm down. I just give my attending a slide and say nothing. She puts it on the stage and waits -- I usually cant stop talking in there and this time Im mute?
Five, four, three,two... BAWLING! Crying and shaking I just sit there. Everyone is confused. Is she... crying? What happened? Why is she crying? My attending looks over -- puzzled and she asks. I cant answer at first. I want to run out but realize thats not practical. I tell them about the patient upstairs -- well aware of the irony of how my actions mimick his in more ways than one. I manage to pull myself together, certain they now feel Im nutso, and retreat to the safety of my cube.
What the hell is wrong with me? Things tear me up but full out bawling? What is this the fifth time this month? Hormones and stress play a factor but come onnnnnnnnn... I said TEAR UP not gush forth!
The fellow turned to me and said he would take the next case, now Im sure he's thinking Ive lost my mind. Im just going to sit here and screen in silence, waiting for the men in white to come for me.
Hope
May Allah (swt) answer all little girls' prayers, Ameen.Last night I was up all night with dentist girl (I'm sure you know by now my close friends I name by their professions -- my roommies pharmacist and dentist girls, lawyer girl and publich health girl making up the four I interact with on a daily basis in some way) discussing life, religion, and our nafs (nafs for those not in the know is the arabic word for self and is used to describe evil that our ego is unable to rise above -- jealousy, back-biting, greed, lust, malice and the like).
It was a very enlightening conversation outlining our attachment to this world, immortal parents, and laziness. We came upon the conclusion, and believe its very hard to admit, that we're responsible for the way things are in our lives. Of course ultimately Allah (swt) has the master control, but we're not doing any justice to ourselves to allow things to prolong without effort on our part. There's that age-old saying, "God helps those who help themselves.", but sometimes it seems as if its all for nothing. If I know, now, that an outcome will not be favorable, I can sit back and not even try. The thing that bothers me is the unknown. What if I go through life with constant hope and faith that things will get better, but what I want I will never have because its not as Allah (swt) intended? What then?
Does hope ever go to waste? Are there powers within hope and faith that propel us towards other goals and aspirations that we might not have seen coming? If hope is what compels us to keep trying, irregardless of the outcome, then is hope really necessary or is it overrated?
I once told a friend that he shouldn't even keep the hope of a particular situation turning itself around. I told him hope was a toxic entity that fills up senses with non-sensical, whimsical, never-going-to-come-true ideas where more practical, realistic and concrete views should be instead. I literally told him to give up hope. Later I thought to myself that I basically condemned him to death. Hope is all we have: hope for a better life, hope for children, hope for Jannah, insha'Allah. Hope is belief, blind-faith that things will get better. I have no right to steal someone of their right to hope. I have no right to take away my hopes.
This is not to say one keeps dreaming --- dreamers never prosper because they never wake up and implement the blueprints necessary to lead to their desires.
There is this Peer Baba Jee guy in NY who people go to read their future. I know its against all of Islam's teachings to go, but I cant help my curiosity. I cannot rise above my need to find out what lies ahead. In essence, I don't want to burture false hopes anymore. I want to know now. Is this what the world is coming to? Too fast to wait for things? Wasn't there a saying that said something to the effect of good things come to those who wait.
I have to admit Im rather good at scenarios and should-have-could-have-would-have situations. I can imagine a scene in my mind and hope it turns out the same way and for that one little tiny second have a genuine smile light up my face and my day.
Hope. Belief. Blind-faith. I suppose I can wait.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
HR Humor
One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St.Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came to get her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her smiled and said...
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee..."
Muhammad Walks - Lupe Fiasco
Check out this song to the tune of Kanye's "Jesus Walks" by Muslim rapper Lupe Fiasco
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TSIkgRLdWYQ
Lyrics:
Auzubillahi minashaitan nirajeem
(Allahu Akbar)
This is one's for all my brothers and sisters who died in Iraq, Israel, Afghanistan and right here in America
(Jesus Walks)
Abraham Talked
Muhammad Talked
And Moses split the sea
(Jesus Walk with me)
I ain't tryin to profit of the prophets so this one's for free
G's up along with Muhammad and Jesus
In the Quran they call him Isa
Don't think Osama and sadaam are is our leada
We pray for peace, but the drama intrigues us
All, so we fall for the illusions of the beast
So instead of tryin to teach we show our teeth
Saying God, different beliefs
Hijabs, Sunday clothes, yamika, kufi, same mission beneath
We all tryin to get to where the sufferin ends
In front of the Most High bein judged for our sins
Can front for the Most High, so the struggle
Continues
You, every bird, bird and tree, me, her and me
We virtually on the same boat
With the same goats, on the same sea
Tryin to stay afloat, and put the devil in the yolk
With a couple of God's quotes
[CHORUS]
ATHAN
(astaghfriullah)
And to the sisters and the mothers of ours
Who cover theyselves cause they're lovers of God
The Creator of the worlds, Sculptor of the stars,
During Hajj we walk, through Ramadaan we starve
Though you not eatin, there's a feedin of the mind
A defeatin of the demons, a seein' of the signs
A leanin on the lines from the surahs
Getting purer, God deemed it unclean
(There's no eatin of the swine)
Nor drinkin' of the wine
We all been to the wind, so I send out a message to my kind
I'm Cordial to Mr Norfull, Mrs. Adam you're the theme song when I'm battling*
Creb flow, player whats happenin
I can hear the truth in your rappins'
(No)
Sex before you marry
No grudges
You should be carry no lyin
Not supposed to be gamblin'
[CHORUS]
(I know it sounds familiar)
We all the same man
It's all a game
The devil hate each and every one of us exactly the same
(I wanna walk like Jesus, talk like jesus SAW)
You know
(uh)
And To my Akh's tryin to stay on their deen
It gets mean especially when u stay on the scene
And at the same try to stay out of trouble
But don't forget the blessing's in the struggle
The Most Forgiving will forgive it if you stay repentant
And hustle
You gotta stay on your salats, your zakats, your Quran
To my homies and miskeen
Astagfurallah,
Allah forgive us all
For we all are sinners
Bless us to be among the winners
When it ends
But until then please strengthen the mission within our hearts
All praise is due to God
(Amen)
Tellin it how it was taught me
I ain't tryin to sell it can be brought for free
This is how it is
Now how it ought to be
Muhammad talk to me
Jesus walk with me
I hope...
[CHORUS]
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
FAMILY vs YOU: Holiday Remix
HOLIDAYS. Great fun you say? Yeah, sure, ok. Everyone together. Good food. Great conversations. Err, wait -- I take that one back because holiday times are really really stressful times for those of us single, still in school, undecided, or childless because family is one helluva nosy neighbor. Family is the red-headed stepchild you cant ignore and must stomach every festive occasion and love unconditionally.Don't get me wrong, family is WONDERFUL, but family can sometimes be that incessant fly/bee/gnat buzzing around you at the picnic that just wont leave you alone, regardless of how many times you swat at it. It keeps coming back with pokes, pokes, pokes into your personal life, space, and business. Your business is their business and so they have a say.
Here I have devised a couple of quick ways to skirt their questions, dodge the smackdown, and disengage when the going gets rough. (Little Johnny: For the love of God, Im single, not gay!) ...you get my point.
Question Number 1: When are you getting married?
You want to say: Just because you're married and miserable doesn't mean I have to be, too!
Instead answer with a smile: When Allah (swt) says so! Apparently, Ive not gotten to that part of MY book yet. But I'll keep going and I'll let you know when it gets good.
Question Number 2: What do you want to be when you grow up? (I swear I get this all the time and Im nearly hitting thirty)
You want to say: What's it to you? Last time I checked I was the lead in this play called "My life". Go find your own wisdom and quit riding my jock!
Instead answer with a smile: I am fully ready and prepared to set out on the path that Allah (swt) has thought out for me, whatever that may be.
Question Number 3: But don't you want to have children?
You want to say: Ask me one more time and I swear to GOD I will marinate your entire house in chicken tikka masala!
Instead answer with a smile: I will have as many children as Allah (swt) will bless me with.
See? Its easy and inarguably the best approach to basically any and all questions that come your way like darts laced with poison from yours truly... your loving family!
And if they try and corner you into doing something you don't want to do, try the following disappearing act tricks:
Scenario: Baby crying. (or whatever else plagues you the minute you wake)
Someone asks: Hey, can you change so-and-so?
You want to say: Dude, your lack-of-protection -- YOUR PROBLEM!
Instead you say:
1.) I just did wudu and Im late for tahajjud prayers.(This works best when its actually Fajr time, but who's going to argue if you're logging extra credit?)
2.) What was that noise? Did you hear that? Is that... rain? My car windows are open. Sorry.
3.) I left milk boiling on the stove. (or whatever you can think of) Sorry.
4.) I see dead people. (Trust me... they'll walk away!)
Worse comes to worst: Fake like you're narcoleptic and fall, literally, to sleep!
Scenario: Finding granny's teeth
Someone asks: Hey, granny lost her teeth under your bed. Can you help her look for them?
You want to say: AWWW HELLL NAWWW!!
Instead you say:
1.) Oh! My! God! My water just broke! I gotta run! (This really works best if you're pregnant or if you really have to pee bad!)
2.) I'm double parked outside -- for the rest of the night I will be attempting to find a parking spot (even though we live in Suburbia and have a vacant driveway and garage).
3.) Ooo, tempting but Im looking forward to having my pumpkin pie with Jinn tonight, in my room. (again.. trusttttt me, they'll walk away, unless of course they misunderstand jinn for Jim. Then you're screwed and your door will be taken off its hinges and you will be put on display and under permanent watch forever! Make sure you are clear: JINN)
...but remember to be thankful this year as well: For having family around, for being healthy, and most of all, for being muslim.
Happy Thanksgiving!
:)
Noori-Saari Raat Jaaga
By far my favoritest song to scream along to in my car! A real tension eraser -- of course you end up with a headache from bangin' your head up around but thats ok -- makes for a fabulous display to passersby in cars or those stopped at the same redlight as you. wonderful. :D
http://youtube.com/watch?v=SyKmzAtmxT4
Sari Raat Jaga Ray Jaga Ray...
Lagay Dil Hara Ray Hara Ray...
Kho Diyay Wo Lamhay Saray Ray...
Teray Bin Kaun Mein Yaara Ray...
Meri Jaan Tu Nay Jana Menay Jana...
Meri Jaan Teri Haan Meri Haan...
Dar Aya Daur Aya...
Dar Aya Daur Aya Na...
Rat Jaagi Yaadein Meray Dil Mein
Kho Diya Na Paya Jo Bhi Dil Nay...
Teray Liyay Hara Yara Ray...
Teray Liyay Saray Ghum Hain Sahay...
Teray Liyay...
Jab Teri Aankhein So Jayein...
Aur Teri Yadein Kho Jayien...
Teray Tan Mein Teray Man Mein...
Teray Ghar Ko Aag Lag Jayay...
Aur Tujhay Jag Na Ayay...
Sari Raat Jaga Ray Jaga Ray...
Dobay Man Mera Jo Hara Ray Hara Ray...
Kho Diyay Wo Lamhay Saray Ray...
Aaj Hein Dhoondtay Yaara Ray...
Rat Jaagi Aahein Meray Dil Mein...
Kho Diya Na Paya Jo Bhi Dil Nay...
Teray Liyay Hara Yara Ray...
Teray Liyay Saray Ghum Hain Sahay...
Teray Liyay...
Jab Teri Aankhein So Jayein...
Aur Teri Yadein Kho Jayien...
Teray Tan Mein Teray Man Mein...
Teray Ghar Ko Aag Lag Jayay...
Aur Tujhay Jag Na Ayay...
Jab Teri Aankhein So Jayein...
Aur Teri Yadein Kho Jayien...
Teray Tan Mein Teray Man Mein...
Teray Ghar Ko Aag Lag Jayay...
Aur Tujhay Jag Na Ayay...
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Life is Like a Water Globe
Very few pleasures from my childhood have carried into my present adult life. Three things come to mind off the top of my head: fountains, tall buildings and water globes. Though I am not an avid collector of globes, I still enjoy shaking the hell out of one and watching everything settle; glitter, confetti, snow, leaves, and the like.It occured to me over the weekend as I walked through Macy's Christmas displays, life is much like a water globe. Sitting idle on a shelf, globes are no more interesting to look at than paint drying. But, given a few turns, everything becomes more interesting. There is a specific moment when everything is beautiful and charged, that moment comes after shaking and right before everything settles.
You cannot control life's topsy turvy-ness, and sometimes having everything in the air can get to you, but what you can bet on everytime is that things will eventually settle and become like it once was. The things flying around the globe represent things going on in our world, but like confetti and glitter, they make a unique display, perhaps even a beautiful one.
:D
Does This Describe YOU?
VIRGO - The One that Waits - Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.
SCORPIO - The Addict - Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.
LIBRA - The Lame One - Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you willever meet! However not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying...
ARIES - The Liar - Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud.
TAURUS - The Tramp - Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to helppeople in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!
AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water - Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable.Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.
GEMINI - Irresistible - Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.
CANCER - The Cutie - Cancer (June 21 - Jul 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirelycreative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights outif it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.
LEO - The Lion - Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost any thing. Great kisser.Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one tomess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
PISCES - The Partner for Life - Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover - Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker.Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One - Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give.They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazingin the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only.
SCORPIO - The Addict - Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Intelligent. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Energetic. Predict future. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Caring.
LIBRA - The Lame One - Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you willever meet! However not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying...
ARIES - The Liar - Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, Addictive. Loud.
TAURUS - The Tramp - Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Loves to helppeople in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!
AQUARIUS - Does It In The Water - Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic. Unpredictable.Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out.
GEMINI - Irresistible - Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good in the you know where... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out.Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.
CANCER - The Cutie - Cancer (June 21 - Jul 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirelycreative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak. Spontaneous. Great telling stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights outif it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to.
LEO - The Lion - Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost any thing. Great kisser.Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one tomess with. Rare to find. Good when found.
PISCES - The Partner for Life - Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. High appeal. Has the last word. Good to find, hard to keep. Fun to be around. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover - Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker.Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to own Gemini's in sports. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One - Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give.They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazingin the you know where..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Allah's Fraternity
Do you remember the hazing incidents of 1998? If you're not old enough to remember, let me refresh your memory. Back in '98 (I realize I say this as if it was 1942) hazing had been taken to a new level of out-of-control. Hazing is known as the act of subjecting someone to abusive or humiliating tricks and/or ridicule.It is most widely noted in gang and fraternity initiations and rituals where newcomers/pledges must prove their loyalty and devotion to the group and its members, but it also can be seen in other instances and circumstances in life, such as the military and in law schools where professors attack you and ask you to defend your argument come hell or high water. The other aspects do not usually carry the negative connotation that hazing in gangs and fraternities do, but the concept is the same.
The purpose of such acts, if dissected for meaning, is to break one down and then to build one up once again, having the new individual emerge stronger, focused, confident, and more devoted.
I realized yesterday that tests and challenges that we recieve from Allah (swt) are no different. When your faith is tested, the challenges are not easy, and when you reach a certain level of devotion, the challenges become harder. Devout individuals become further plagued by Shaitan's incessant whispers, probably because it is much more of a high or thrill for him to have someone strong fall, then someone weak and easy.
Allah (swt) knows what we can handle and what we cannot. He only gives us tests that He knows we will survive and learn from, and the reward for overcoming those harder obstacles brings you one step closer to Allah (swt). Liken the challenges you receive as initiation to His club, fraternity, or invites to His facebook circle that He sends out and we accept should we be willing to put up the effort.
Looking at it in this respect, challenges, heartaches, saddness, defeat, loss all seem that much less menacing because they signify your being recognized by Allah (swt) as one of the elite with the chance to prove your worth, as someone who matters just enough to be accepted. He knows we will succeed. 'He's gotcha back!'
Why pull out of the race when you know He's cheering for you?
11-15-2007
Today is a super special day!!! Today my bestest, cutest, sweetest, huggablest, adorablest, kissablest nephew turns five! I cant believe its been five years already. It truly does seem just like yesterday. I remember he was born during Ramadan and right around sehri time. I remember leaving early in the morning and driving up to DE to go see him. He was four hours old when I first saw him. He was an angel as a baby, too; never cried or screamed until he turned 2, then his personality began to shine.
I know he's part of my blood, but Im not exaggerating when I tell you he was sitting up at 4 months, crawling at 5 mos, speaking at 7 mos and spelling his name even before he was one. Subhan'Allah the boy can read and finished the Quran back in September. How many four year olds do you know of who read 1000 page books and quote Quran, Alhamdullilah?
I called him this morning to wish him a happy happy happy birthday and I wasnt sure if he would tell me what today was or wait to see if I remembered. He remained composed until I said, "Happy Birthday!!!" then he began talking about his cake and how he was five. I asked him what he wants for his birthday and he named a few things.
Here's a convo with my sister, his mother, that followed:
Hanna: We already got him the PNT (purple ninja turtle).
Me: ok, what about the movie? Should I buy him the movie?
Hanna: Is it violent? I dont want him to watch anything thats got too much fighting in it.
Me: ok. Then what do I get him? What does he like?
Hanna: Buy him books.
Me: What!? No way, I am NOT going to be the boring Khala who buys books for birthdays! Tell Sarah Khala to buy him books. He already likes her anyway, it wont matter what she gets him.
Khalas who buy books and pencils, or anything remotely resembling back-to-school items for birthdays need their khala-licenses suspended!
Pa: speaking of license suspensions, you should know.
Me: must-we-bring-that-up forever onwards!?
Pa: You know each generation outdoes it's parents in everything including pranks and misbehaving....
Me: Deja-lecture!
Pa: (continuing) ...that means your children will get into more mischief than you ever dreamt possible.
Me: well in that case I suppose I should convert my 401K savings to a BAIL money savings fund today!
:D
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Latest & Greatest Invention Idea
Every morning after I get off the train I usually get coffee and then walk to work. This morning was just like any other normal one (getting groped on the train and then chased by a bag lady screaming obscenities for no damn reason) except it happened to be raining. Now, for some odd reason, juggling my coffee cup and my umbrella was a bitch! It leads me to wonder, Has it never rained before on my way to work?
Then I realize, Ive become more organized recently and I am better at remembering to bring my umbrella on the days its actually raining. Usually I have a raincoat with a hood that I use and thus it frees up my hands to hold my cup.
The it occured to me: Umbrellas should have cupholders on the metal bar! Technology is the love child of laziness, no? But its not a bad idea if you think about it, especially in areas of the world where it rains a lot and people have to use public transportation or resort to walking. I'm working on a prototype -- haha -- I'll get back to you with a sketch soon.
Speaking of laziness, I rode the train home last night with the world's most awful man in the whole wide world! I ended up getting on the last express train and express trains usually run beyond capacity, and because of that I had to stand in the aisle the entire 30 minute ride. Not a big deal, if it wasnt for McRudeness sitting in the seat next to where I was standing. As the train took off, it lurched forward, throwing everyone off balance. I didnt have a chance to put my stuff down, so it took me by surprise and slightly forced me to nudge the McRudeness, old guy nuzzled in his seat reading a book AND listening to music. He turned towards me and said something to the tune of, "Excuse me!".
It burned a hole right through me. Okay, first of all, you're a GUY sitting amongst women standing, and second you are asking me to excuse myself for bumping into you which was not on purpose because there are no seats left on the train and no men in this world willing to give up theirs! I DONT THINK SO PAL! So I stated that fact ever so sweetly, bringing it to the attention of all other passengers in the vicinity. The women cracked up as the non-female passengers pretending not to notice. I will say though there was one kid who did give up his seat to preggers, that too Im sure, because he had some sixth sense kind of knowledge about her carrying a male fetus. The pregnant lady carrying twin girls would have been asked to get out and push the train.
Jhaliya I tell ya. You cant call it a man's world when there are no more left!
Then I realize, Ive become more organized recently and I am better at remembering to bring my umbrella on the days its actually raining. Usually I have a raincoat with a hood that I use and thus it frees up my hands to hold my cup.
The it occured to me: Umbrellas should have cupholders on the metal bar! Technology is the love child of laziness, no? But its not a bad idea if you think about it, especially in areas of the world where it rains a lot and people have to use public transportation or resort to walking. I'm working on a prototype -- haha -- I'll get back to you with a sketch soon.
Speaking of laziness, I rode the train home last night with the world's most awful man in the whole wide world! I ended up getting on the last express train and express trains usually run beyond capacity, and because of that I had to stand in the aisle the entire 30 minute ride. Not a big deal, if it wasnt for McRudeness sitting in the seat next to where I was standing. As the train took off, it lurched forward, throwing everyone off balance. I didnt have a chance to put my stuff down, so it took me by surprise and slightly forced me to nudge the McRudeness, old guy nuzzled in his seat reading a book AND listening to music. He turned towards me and said something to the tune of, "Excuse me!".
It burned a hole right through me. Okay, first of all, you're a GUY sitting amongst women standing, and second you are asking me to excuse myself for bumping into you which was not on purpose because there are no seats left on the train and no men in this world willing to give up theirs! I DONT THINK SO PAL! So I stated that fact ever so sweetly, bringing it to the attention of all other passengers in the vicinity. The women cracked up as the non-female passengers pretending not to notice. I will say though there was one kid who did give up his seat to preggers, that too Im sure, because he had some sixth sense kind of knowledge about her carrying a male fetus. The pregnant lady carrying twin girls would have been asked to get out and push the train.
Jhaliya I tell ya. You cant call it a man's world when there are no more left!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
SAAWARIYA - Jab Se Tere Naina
I love love love this movie and I am so glad I was able to see it the day it was released. This is my favorite song of the movie and the picturization is perfect especially the near-nude scene of the lead actor Ranbir Kapoor. Forget six-pack abs of the yester years, this punjabi munda sports an eight-pack yummy enough to make you want to forget technological advances in heavy duty washing machines and go back in time and use his washboard stomach instead!!! :P
http://youtube.com/watch?v=TzUp7smjJZE
Friday, November 09, 2007
Look What We've Done
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won - Jet, Look What You've Done
So I sit here today, having finished all my work, basking in the acceptance of my comeback blog post of yesterday, wondering how and why all of a sudden my writer's block of three months has vanished. Im not any less bored at work, in fact, I have tons of more responsibilities now that someone is leaving from our team and I do have other pressing projects that need my attention. So what gives?
Then it hits me like a splash of ice cold water: I have lost my confidante and my life is off-balance. My blog works best when I have something to gripe about, something to scream about, to blow off steam, or, sadly as a last resort to having no one else to talk to.
Look what I've done.
Life has its ups and downs, and I did lots of griping -- any given day theres always something bothering Farah only you wont really hear me say it, ESPECIALLY if its about you-- but all summer I had someone to talk to, confide in, bounce ideas off of, and share silly thoughts with ranging from lunatic hair sniffers to really deep soul searching instead of blogging. I tried so many times to sit and type down a story, but like a good joke only best when told once, I couldnt even get it all out more than once. I had no use for my blog.
The past several months have been wonderful, no saddness, no real need to complain. Now, a year later, I stand to hit rock bottom again. But Ive been there before, and like a pro who's ran the race and finished the year before but looking to come out on top this time around, Im armed and ready. Subhan'Allah I am blessed with loving, concerned roomies and close friends to make up my little army that can and will bring me out of this rut, insha'Allah. (They dont take NO for an answer at all!!)
Aisha, Seemeen and Aneesah truly are the best people that have happened to me recently (collectively we make up the SAAF girls -- "saaf" coming from the Urdu word meaning clean/pure: clean intention, pure heart <3). Each different in her own right with different experiences, each gives amazing advice. (And for the record, Seemeen comes armed with Hamza's halal marshmellows and extra chocolate with almonds so that we can have a SMORE'IFIC time at Cosi. Love her!)
So you see, it wasn't writer's block at all. I just talk too much and then have nothing to write about. Is this the reason most writer's are hermit crabs? Is this why they must retreat to an undisclosed location for peace and quiet and concentration? Is this why most great writers of the past were considered odd and introverted? Would the Qur'an have been revealed in its entirety to the Prophet (saw) had he had six men in the cave with him to question, critique, and distract him? All great philosophers, artists, writers would stay months in seclusion working on their respective masterpieces and then emerge with great show at elaborate fetes, displaying their work and relaying their theories to the masses.
Emotions are a double-edged sword. On the one hand its nice to know you're capable of feeling, as opposed to being a stone but it comes at the price of, not only realizing where it all came from, but also having to learn to live with it and move on.
Maybe I just work well in seclusion? Maybe the U2 song is true and all poets are cannibals and artists theives who kill their inspiration and sing about their grief. Maybe grief is the best medium for genius eureaka momemnts of the mind and heart. Maybe I do talk too much, but everything always comes out wrong?
One thing is for sure: Its damn wicked to know a certain someone, though not on speaking terms with me, still reads my blog. :D
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove
Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won - Jet, Look What You've Done
So I sit here today, having finished all my work, basking in the acceptance of my comeback blog post of yesterday, wondering how and why all of a sudden my writer's block of three months has vanished. Im not any less bored at work, in fact, I have tons of more responsibilities now that someone is leaving from our team and I do have other pressing projects that need my attention. So what gives?
Then it hits me like a splash of ice cold water: I have lost my confidante and my life is off-balance. My blog works best when I have something to gripe about, something to scream about, to blow off steam, or, sadly as a last resort to having no one else to talk to.
Look what I've done.
Life has its ups and downs, and I did lots of griping -- any given day theres always something bothering Farah only you wont really hear me say it, ESPECIALLY if its about you-- but all summer I had someone to talk to, confide in, bounce ideas off of, and share silly thoughts with ranging from lunatic hair sniffers to really deep soul searching instead of blogging. I tried so many times to sit and type down a story, but like a good joke only best when told once, I couldnt even get it all out more than once. I had no use for my blog.
The past several months have been wonderful, no saddness, no real need to complain. Now, a year later, I stand to hit rock bottom again. But Ive been there before, and like a pro who's ran the race and finished the year before but looking to come out on top this time around, Im armed and ready. Subhan'Allah I am blessed with loving, concerned roomies and close friends to make up my little army that can and will bring me out of this rut, insha'Allah. (They dont take NO for an answer at all!!)
Aisha, Seemeen and Aneesah truly are the best people that have happened to me recently (collectively we make up the SAAF girls -- "saaf" coming from the Urdu word meaning clean/pure: clean intention, pure heart <3). Each different in her own right with different experiences, each gives amazing advice. (And for the record, Seemeen comes armed with Hamza's halal marshmellows and extra chocolate with almonds so that we can have a SMORE'IFIC time at Cosi. Love her!)
So you see, it wasn't writer's block at all. I just talk too much and then have nothing to write about. Is this the reason most writer's are hermit crabs? Is this why they must retreat to an undisclosed location for peace and quiet and concentration? Is this why most great writers of the past were considered odd and introverted? Would the Qur'an have been revealed in its entirety to the Prophet (saw) had he had six men in the cave with him to question, critique, and distract him? All great philosophers, artists, writers would stay months in seclusion working on their respective masterpieces and then emerge with great show at elaborate fetes, displaying their work and relaying their theories to the masses.
Emotions are a double-edged sword. On the one hand its nice to know you're capable of feeling, as opposed to being a stone but it comes at the price of, not only realizing where it all came from, but also having to learn to live with it and move on.
Maybe I just work well in seclusion? Maybe the U2 song is true and all poets are cannibals and artists theives who kill their inspiration and sing about their grief. Maybe grief is the best medium for genius eureaka momemnts of the mind and heart. Maybe I do talk too much, but everything always comes out wrong?
One thing is for sure: Its damn wicked to know a certain someone, though not on speaking terms with me, still reads my blog. :D
HAPPY DIWALI!
"We meditate on the glory of the Creator; who has created the Universe; who is worthy of worship; who is the embodiment of knowledge and light; who is the remover of all sin and ignorance; may He enlighten our intellect."
Got Blood?
Stalkers. Most of the time, stalkers are given a very negative connotation. The jealous ex-boyfriend. The lovestruck groupie. The ex-wife who joins a yoga class to try and get a glimpse of the new trophy wife instructor. Agreed?
Now, the stalked usually have two reactions: run scared or be extremely flattered. Depending upon just how many sandwiches short of a picnic basket crazy is, most are not flattered. Initially however, it is exciting to know someone still thinks of you, dreams of you, wants to see you, etc. Especially if the stalker is an ex.
In my case, the stalker is the American Red Cross. Yes. No trails of petals leading to my cube at work, no mysterious notes professing an undying love. No. They want my blood! And they want it ALL.
What mailing list did I accidentally join!? I made one donation and the minute they got a scent of my blood type, they've been on me like moths to a flame. Calls on my home phone, cellphone, emails, NOTES ON MY FRONT DOOR????
I always said I wanted selfish blood; the kind that can receive from everyone (universal recipient) but only give to a certain percentage (AB+ people only). This way, I'm clear for when I need it and its every man for himself when it comes to other types.
BUT! Here's the kicker: my blood type is ALWAYS in shortest supply. Not because it's used so frequently, but because its so rare (3% of the population in the US) and medically speaking, AB blood is always preferable for AB blood types. So once they find 1 individual in 29 who has AB blood, the FANGS come out and they call you all the time to schedule you into a center. I'm waiting for them to send a singing group... that would be hilarious.
Of course I understand the need for me to donate, my sisters are AB blood type, so I listen to their messages, and I make appointments when I can. People can only donate up to four times a year, so theres only so much I can do. Monday night I get a phone call and make an appointment for yesterday. Tuesday morning, yes MORNING, I find a note attached to my front door reminding me of the appointment I made the night before. Tuesday night I get a phone call on my cell at work asking for a donation. I kindly state that I am donating on Thursday. Call ends. Wednesday night I get a phone call at my apartment with a woman saying, "Remember you said you would come." What is that a threat? I thought donating was voluntary!?
But alas, they have underestimated me and mother nature entirely. Farah doesn't give up without a fight, genetically speaking of course. I happen to be borderline anemic and fasting yesterday. Not a good combo. I ended up not being able to donate anyway. And it was NOT just in my head that at the very moment they found out I am useless to them, the music stopped, babies stopped crying, everyone looked over at me. I had to walk the WALK OF SHAME out of the donor center with a scarlet "A" for anemic on my chest and NO ONE GAVE ME ANY COOKIES or JUICE for attempting!
Damn, even at the cellular level Im disappointing to someone!
:)
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Life is Like a Video Game
Remember playing video games as a child? Good guys, bad guys, traps, rewards, ammunition, levels, a slew of obstacles and hoops to jump through, a beginning and an end, cheat short-cuts, paths you took just to get extra lives and some levels you went through more than once just to gain more ammunition.
Life is a video game; your video game. There is a beginning and an end. Lessons come as levels, each requiring completion in order to move to the next stage. Rewards are earned. The highest rewards come with the steepest prices, risks and/or consequences. There are ways to cheat, but in the end you cheat yourself out of the pleasure of going through every emotion, every moment. Whats the hurry to finish anyway? Sometimes we find it comforting to stay in one place just a little longer until we have the courage, and strength, to continue. Family and good friends are the best ammunition ever.
We all are trying to reach the ultimate End. We must battle with the evils of this world, materialistic and tangible. We must do so in a way that enriches our vitals and keeps us mentally sharp. We must choose our own path. We can set the game to easy, moderate, or difficult. The choices are ours.
As we go through life, our scope shifts, ideals swop, and we may endure a change of heart. Tests and challenges come tailored to what we choose. Should we come across a test thats too hard, we have another choice: push reset and walk away, or keep going and face it.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
BRING IT BACK BRING IT BACK BRING IT BACKKKKKK!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I miss my blog!
Ok so I gotta be really careful cuz I have my blog linked to my facebook and everyone and their mommaaa is on facebook and can read my notes. SUCKS... I know.. since this would probably be the best time to say Id love to write about them! haha..
MISSSSSSSSSED. WRITING. SERIOUSLY.
I know its coming. I feel it in the pit of my stomach... chunks of an undigested rant, remnants of a bad day gone worse about to spew... brace yourself...............brace yourself. ITS.STILL.RAMADAN.
Ok, so you know how Shaiyateen get locked up during Ramadan? Every time I do something bad... or am about to do something bad I always think to myself.................Im the one that got away. HA.
Its sooo unfair ---- Shaitan gets locked up but I still gotta deal with the morons of society that roam free with a "Get-out-of-jail-free" card-style chip on their shoulder.
IM not bitter... Oh no, IM NOT BITTER.
Ignorance is such bliss. Stupidity is contagious and reaching epidemic levels. If you cant beat em.....find a bigger bat! :D
Ok so I gotta be really careful cuz I have my blog linked to my facebook and everyone and their mommaaa is on facebook and can read my notes. SUCKS... I know.. since this would probably be the best time to say Id love to write about them! haha..
MISSSSSSSSSED. WRITING. SERIOUSLY.
I know its coming. I feel it in the pit of my stomach... chunks of an undigested rant, remnants of a bad day gone worse about to spew... brace yourself...............brace yourself. ITS.STILL.RAMADAN.
Ok, so you know how Shaiyateen get locked up during Ramadan? Every time I do something bad... or am about to do something bad I always think to myself.................Im the one that got away. HA.
Its sooo unfair ---- Shaitan gets locked up but I still gotta deal with the morons of society that roam free with a "Get-out-of-jail-free" card-style chip on their shoulder.
IM not bitter... Oh no, IM NOT BITTER.
Ignorance is such bliss. Stupidity is contagious and reaching epidemic levels. If you cant beat em.....find a bigger bat! :D
Sunday, September 23, 2007
28, Finally.
So much for starting the blog up again in September! Its getting to where its harder and harder to write. Im wondering if its not because I have other avenues of venting... such as not getting angry in the first place. HA!
Ok, so Ive never been one to have many friends, and recently Ive been meeting such cool people that its hard to not want to hang out with them all the time... I think I just found an avenue for my venting! :D
September is really a crazy month. Summer ends, schools re-open, life resumes its monotony, birthdays, Ramadan...
Me: Pa, I cant talk right now. Can I call you Wednesday?
Pa: Beta??... its Saturday! Are you really that busy?
...and that about sums up why I havent blogged lately.
Ok, so I need to learn to manage my time wisely. Structured is one of my few un-Virgo characteristics. I have the need to be organized, but when it comes time to tackle tasks I dont always divide my time accordingly.
So, anyway...getting to the good stuff. 9/19... My birthday this year was the BESTEST birthday EVER! I had the most funnnnest, special bday. The reason my birthday was super special this year? Family and close friends! I got to see my family ON my actual birthday, rather than being miserable on my day, or seeing them three weeks later. Family ROCKS! I had off Thursday (9/20) the day after my birthday so I drove home and celebrated with fam. And, my friends are the BEST! Flowers, presents, dinners, crazy long drives, wall posts... we're still celebrating.
28...finally. Most all my friends turned 28 before me and because of them I was beginning to include myself in their category, til I snapped out of it and enjoyed 27 to the last drop! feels good. It feels a bit more sturdy and sound.
28 is like being 14 on a heftier allowance!
28 is a worth a second look.
28 is returning a phone call.
28 is moving on.
28 is following the dream that will lead to happily ever after.
28 is a promise that things will get better, insha'Allah...
This isnt a typical blog post.... its just fact.
Ok, so Ive never been one to have many friends, and recently Ive been meeting such cool people that its hard to not want to hang out with them all the time... I think I just found an avenue for my venting! :D
September is really a crazy month. Summer ends, schools re-open, life resumes its monotony, birthdays, Ramadan...
Me: Pa, I cant talk right now. Can I call you Wednesday?
Pa: Beta??... its Saturday! Are you really that busy?
...and that about sums up why I havent blogged lately.
Ok, so I need to learn to manage my time wisely. Structured is one of my few un-Virgo characteristics. I have the need to be organized, but when it comes time to tackle tasks I dont always divide my time accordingly.
So, anyway...getting to the good stuff. 9/19... My birthday this year was the BESTEST birthday EVER! I had the most funnnnest, special bday. The reason my birthday was super special this year? Family and close friends! I got to see my family ON my actual birthday, rather than being miserable on my day, or seeing them three weeks later. Family ROCKS! I had off Thursday (9/20) the day after my birthday so I drove home and celebrated with fam. And, my friends are the BEST! Flowers, presents, dinners, crazy long drives, wall posts... we're still celebrating.
28...finally. Most all my friends turned 28 before me and because of them I was beginning to include myself in their category, til I snapped out of it and enjoyed 27 to the last drop! feels good. It feels a bit more sturdy and sound.
28 is like being 14 on a heftier allowance!
28 is a worth a second look.
28 is returning a phone call.
28 is moving on.
28 is following the dream that will lead to happily ever after.
28 is a promise that things will get better, insha'Allah...
This isnt a typical blog post.... its just fact.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Delays, Mistakes, and the Breakdown
I know I said September, but my blog is back a little earlier due to popular demand. In other words, I had a horrible day and must tell about it since Ive lived through it.
The R3 Regional Rail line is perhaps the worst line to travel in terms of delays and breakdowns. Of course that's the line I take to work every morning. It's been having problems for the past few days, mainly electrical problems causing delays. The only thing is when one train is delayed, it backs up all the others following it. Also, more and more people gather onto the platform and all trains run beyond capacity.
Yesterday morning the trains were running 25 minutes late. Now, where the hell in my busy morning do Septa idiots figure Im going to be able to find 25 EXTRA minutes just lying around, not in use? Its a complete conspiracy this whole running trains late deal... complete conspiracy, but I'll save that for a rainy day. Today is looking way too pretty -- from my window, anyway.
I finally get to work, not super late (because Im on to stupid train issues and so Im always early any given day), but just a few minutes late. I get to work and realize I'm not just late to work, but I may have missed the biggest deadline of all. In between cases Im battling going back and forth on googletalk with a friend who's heavily medicated --- read: narcotics. It suddenly dawns on me that Im arguing with the revolving door of ignorance mixed with a little bit of raw emotion and I see my way out, visibly upset and shook up -- a feeling that lasts all night.
As the end of the day approaches, I tell Lauren I just want to go home, relax, and clear my head AND that I hope the train doesnt have any more issues getting me home. Trains I tell you, are definitely female and perpetually in a state of PMS. Its a wicked disease and I thought I had it bad.
I am three stops away from my stop and the train breaksdown, not totally unlike me. I didnt get to charge my phone the night before, so that, too, has brokendown, so to speak. We're on the outbound lane, stopped yet, subsequent trains are passing us going in our direction, on the inbound lane. Hmmmm. Maybe we should get out and switch trains? Is that possible? Are we allowed to get out? Thank God we had brokendown at an actual stop at a place where its relatively easy to cross over tracks. No one said anything. Not one single retarded Septa official came by to say anything. Two trains go by and Im thinking, Mother of pearl! Im the only one with synapsing neurons.
The third train goes by, remember express trains carry lots of people and come very frequently, and I see everyone jump up and head out. Approximately 700-800 spill out of the train cars. Suddenly theres an announcement that we need to leave the train. Its brokendown, its not going anywhere. Another train is on its way shortly. Shortly. Now, shortly in Septa speak means 1 hour. All peak trains have left, so the next train will be there in an hour.... "shortly".
Now, I dont have a cellphone that works, ergo I know no ones number to call. I do the most logical thing I can think of that anyone would do in my situation: I go out in search of a working battery to borrow. :P
Mistakenly, I SWEAR TO GOD mistakenly, I come up on an old man, 70s, white beard, and I ask if I can borrow his battery --- Im only fairly lucid this morning and I kid you not I realize how awkward it must have sounded. He offers me his phone.
Me: No, no, no you dont understand. I dont know anyones number by heart. ('cuz my name is Farah and my favorite color is clear...)
Old Guy: Oh jeez. Can you call 411?
Me: For cellphone numbers?
OG: Oh, no, not for cellphone numbers.
Me: (mission continues) Ok, thanks, but its ok. Buhbye.
OG: (I guess he didnt hear my goodbye?) What is this Im seeing in your face?
HATE?, ANGER?, DEFEAT?, DESEPERATION?, PLANS TO SHOOT THE NEXT SEPTA GUY I SEE ON THE LEFT PINKY TOE OF HIS LEFT FOOT? Oh God! He's reading my emotions written all over my face!?!?!?!!! Auuuuuugh!??!
OG: What background are you?
Oh he means besides crazy?
Me: My parents are from Pakistan --- I say this as Im walking away
OG: OH! I figured it was something exotic. (Oh, he thinks I said Hawaii?) Pakistani food is amazing and the women are beautiful like you.
I am so NOT amused, its rather amusing.
Me: Thank you. -- again as Im walking away.
OG: Ive been there. Ive seen the Himalayas... the HinduKush mountains...
Me: Wow, Ive never been there -- I lie. I swear I'll pay whatever price -- hoping that would end the conversation.
OG: You can have my phone if you think of anything else.
Me: Thank you.
I walk to the back of the station house and see a payphone. OG creeps up behind me, YES, follows me. I scream and he says, "Im sure you've thought of everything. But if you think of anything, let me know. You can use my phone. Id love to be the one to rescue an exotic beauty in distress."
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii Alllahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! GO AWAY!!
I find a guy behind the station house and ask him for his battery -- yes, I know it sounds weird believe me. Its like asking someone if you can borrow their toothbrush. He happens to have the exact same phone as me which works perfectly! I pop in his battery and immediately call Aisha.
She says she'll come pick me up from Noble Station, only shes not sure with the area and directions. I remind her I dont have my phone and she cant call me but Im confident that she will come if she said she will. I get off the phone, and give the man his battery back. Just then, another train pulls up. Great. I dont get on it, obviously, because Aisha is on her way.
An hour, and two trains pass and its getting dark -- I finally make the call Ive been dreading and realize I should have written down Aisha's number when I called before. I call my sister.
Me: HannaIneedSeemeen'snumbernow!
Hanna: I dont have Seemeen's number anymore.
(Are you sure??? Lie to me, just give me someone else's number. I am sooo damn tired at this point I couldnt care less who I am talking to -- I started out waving down cars of Aisha's make and model to just randomly waving down EVERYONE... its its on the news by the way.. that wasnt me!)
Me: Ask Shahab bhai for one of her brothers' numbers.
An hour, and two trains pass and its getting dark -- I finally make the call Ive been dreading and realize I should have written down Aisha's number when I called before. I call my sister.
Me: HannaIneedSeemeen'snumbernow!
Hanna: I dont have Seemeen's number anymore.
(Are you sure??? Lie to me, just give me someone else's number. I am sooo damn tired at this point I couldnt care less who I am talking to -- I started out waving down cars of Aisha's make and model to just randomly waving down EVERYONE... its its on the news by the way.. that wasnt me!)
Me: Ask Shahab bhai for one of her brothers' numbers.
I get her brother's number and realize afterwards just how silly the call must have sounded.
Me: SalaamThisisFarah.IneedyoutogivemeAishaJsNumber.ThanksBye.
I didntt even have a pen, I wrote her number down on an ATM receipt with my favorite eyeliner! Women and our ways -- :D The picture above is a snap of that receipt.
I could have sworn I saw AJ drive by and I tried to chase her down, but she says she never went that way before. I dont know how she found me, but Alhamdullilah, she finally reached me and I told her I didnt think Id ever been so excited to see anyone ever before.
Aisha: OMG, you've been here alone??? Get in! Get in! Its creepy here. (Really? -- I didnt notice :D)
Aisha: I was reading so many qulmas for you to make sure you were ok.
(Awww... i heart Aisha!)
(Awww... i heart Aisha!)
I tell her my ordeal, start to finish, including how I called her -- the borrowed battery and the crazy phone call to a friend's brother.
Aisha: OMG, that sounds like something that would happen to me.
Allah na kare, God I hope not.
But the night did get better -- Aisha took me out to dinner and then she spent the night at my place. And we got to talk to our favorite person, Seemeen. I didnt get home til 10p. I didnt get to sleep until 1a. And now Im staying home sick to recover from my heat exhaustion and fatigue.
All turned well that rarely ever begins well, Alhamdullilah. For those of you who kept messaging me, I apologize -- it really was quite an ordeal. Knowing me, you should know by now, drama is my middle name and nothing is ever done on purpose. I will get back to everyone's texts and voicemails a little later. Right now, Im trying to blackmail someone into coming over and making me chai. :D
Monday, August 20, 2007
Bringin' Bloggin' Back!
My blog is back! I took some time off from the summer for some much needed life assessment. The time has come to begin the rants, the raves, and bring the crazy back. I missed blogging.
Officially, I will be back starting September. This is just a heads up.
...now you all can breathe again! :D
Officially, I will be back starting September. This is just a heads up.
...now you all can breathe again! :D
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
It's Time...
...to say goodbye! :D
Yes, I am closing my beloved blog and running off in pursuit of my dreams. Much thanks to those who read and kept refreshing, page after page. Ive learned a lot within the past year, have come far from keeping everything blocked inside, to at least being able to write about it. It was a big step. The blog has been therapeutic.
Keeping a blog has helped me see my own writing ability grow and develop, and given me hope to venture out and try my hand at writing, not so much as a career because the sciences still have my heart, but just as a side hobby. Its given me insight into just how much words can touch/mean/harm and how many moods I can lift, mA, mine as well.
I will leave the blog up for the day, but tonight I will take it off from the public eye. If there are any posts in particular that you liked, let me know and I will email you a copy.
Salaam and goodbye for now. Please keep me in your prayers and iA may you one day come across one of my books. Even if I never get published, I will remember where it all started, the feeling I felt after each post that came from the heart, the feedback that I got, and none of it will have been in vain.
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