Sunday, April 20, 2008

10 Ways to Commit Relationship Suicide


A friend sent me a link to a website with this article. I had to post it on my blog. I disagree completely with the first statement, at least where desi guys are concerned. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING scares a desi guy more than a girl showing interest in him. I dont even mean, his family, hobbies, job, thoughts, etc. I mean a desi girl simply saying Salaam and the freaking idiot desi guy HAS NO FUCKING CLUE IN HELL how to answer... whether he wants to answer for fear it may translate into, "Will you marry me?" I mean FOR GODS SAKE, its a salutation, not a crime! This is why I seriously think desi guys love to be hated and mistreated by their wives.

Anyway, read the list and decide what you think.

1. Ignore Them. This is by far the number one method because isolation is the worst torture that any human being can be put through. Seriously, it’s used by armies and terrorists to get information from those people that are the hardest to crack. Want someone out of your life, just ignore them.
2. Describe The Future. All couples love to live into a future together. Tell her about how she’ll be scrubbing your floors while you’re out at the strip club. Tell him how he’ll be changing the diapers while you’re out on dates.
3. Flirt With Every Waiter. Tactfully operate your flirting execution in such a way that you cannot be openly accused for this flirtation. If confronted about it simply accuse your partner of being jealous and overbearing. Continue to flirt.
4. Cause Nightly Ruckus. No matter how patient or understanding your partner is, you’ll be able to wear their patience thin if they’re exhausted. Enable this by keeping them up at night with loud television and other noises.
5. Describe Your Type. Describe the physical features and personality qualities of your ideal mate to your partner. Make it very clear, without actually saying it, that non of the characteristics you list are a part of your partners persona.
6. Don’t Replace The Emptiness. The empty toilet paper roll, the empty shampoo bottle, the empty milk carton — all things that you should leave empty after you’ve used them.
7. Forgetfulness. You can blame it on old age when you’ve forgotten their birthday, your anniversaries, or any other special occasions. In fact, don’t even show up for them.
8. Be Discrete- Not. Make sure that when you’re telling your friends about how bad your think your relationship is that your partner can hear you. Not when they’re right in front of you, but just out of site of course.
9. Go Abroad. Go overseas for a few months without writing or calling. Certainly don’t invite your partner when you vacation with friends. Send them pictures of you with people of the opposite sex.
10. Talk. That’s right, instead of ignoring them, do lots of talking. In fact, you should talk a lot, and listen very little.

Reference: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-ways-to-commit-relationship-suicide.html

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Halaqa: Dream Interpretation

It's so amazing just how much wrapping yourself around like-minded individuals and religious people gets you feeling pumped and ready to fight Shaitan and win! Alhamdullilah, its a great feeling and I recommend halaqa to everyone who ever had their faith tested. Its a way of emphasizing ideals and morals and beliefs. Its the perfect medicine to nip doubt in the bud. Doubt is an itch that should be scratched, halaqa is ointment that helps heal.

Ok -- Im talking ER jargon still -- on my road to recovery... my iman could use some topical too! :D

Last week we had halaqa after a very long hiatus, long overdue. I am so glad we did. I always leave halaqa with a fresh attitude. I know nothing should ever be compared to Hajj, where people emerge re-born, but halaqa is like a cold shower... it wakes you up and clears away the grogginess! Our halaqa topic was dream interpretation and of course you cannot talk of that topic and not have Prophet Yusuf al-Islam come up. I will begin with his (pbuh) story of interpeting dreams and then lead into a few hadiths which are always included as guidance from Khatam Ar-Rusul, Habib Allah Prophet Muhammad (saw), and then touch into a few tangential topics and discussions which are sometimes controversial, but always amazing.

Each prophet of Allah (swt) comes to the Earth with a gift: a gift of mercy from Allah (swt) in a manner in which it will aid the prophet deliver his message and wow and appeal the masses. Prophet Yusuf (as) was blessed with the ability to interpret dreams. Most of the Prophet's talents are not manifested until the need arises. Allahu alim, there is a reason for everything. Allah (swt) is the greatest planner and storyteller. He (swt) knows when to reveal how much. Prophet Yusuf's talent was not revealed until he was in prison for wrongfully being accused of a crime. The crime was attacking Zuleika, Aziz's wife -- Aziz is the second to the King at the time, a prime minister if you will. Zuleika pleaded that Prophet Yusuf (as) came unto her when in fact she had come onto him. For this he was sentenced to prison. In prison, he begins interpreting dreams of other prisoners and the interpretations make sense and hold true. One of the prisoners is released and goes to work for the King. One morning the King awakes from sleep with a strange dream on his lips.

"I saw seven fat and beautiful cows coming out of the river and start grazing in the pasture. Later, seven thin and ugly cows came out of the water and ate the other seven up. Then I saw seven green ears of wheat and seven whithered ones." - King

The former prisoner tells the King of a noble pious man who can interpret dreams and Prophet Yusuf (as) is summonned. The Prophet warns of famine and advises them to grow lots of wheat and to save most of it for the famine years. This makes sense to the King. He frees Yusuf (as) but the Prophet refuses to leave until he is proved innocent of his crime. The King further looks into the matter and all is resolved. Zuleika takes back her testimony and Prophet Yusuf (as) is a free man. Prophet Yusuf (as)'s dream interpretation skill was his ticket out of jail and helped clear him of all charges.

A few hadiths on the matter of dreams:

Volume 9, Book 87, Number 113: Narrated Abu Qatada:
The Prophet said, "A true good dream is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Satan."

Volume 9, Book 87, Number 114: Narrated Abu Sa'id Al-Khudri:
The Prophet said, "If anyone of you sees a dream that he likes, then it is from Allah, and he should thank Allah for it and narrate it to others; but if he sees something else, i.e., a dream that he dislikes, then it is from Satan, and he should seek refuge with Allah from its evil, and he should not mention it to anybody, for it will not harm him."

Volume 9, Book 87, Number 122: Narrated Abu Huraira:
I heard the Prophet saying, "Whoever sees me in a dream will see me in his wakefulness, and Satan cannot imitate me in shape." Abu 'Abdullah said, "Ibn Sirin said, 'Only if he sees the Prophet in his (real) shape.'"

Volume 9, Book 87, Number 128: Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Umar:
Allah's Apostle said, "I saw myself (in a dream) near the Ka'ba last night, and I saw a man with whitish red complexion, the best you may see amongst men of that complexion having long hair reaching his earlobes which was the best hair of its sort, and he had combed his hair and water was dropping from it, and he was performing the Tawaf around the Ka'ba while he was leaning on two men or on the shoulders of two men. I asked, 'Who is this man?' Somebody replied, '(He is) Messiah, son of Mary.' Then I saw another man with very curly hair, blind in the right eye which looked like a protruding out grape. I asked, 'Who is this?' Somebody replied, '(He is) Messiah, Ad-Dajjal.'"

Volume 9, Book 87, Number 134: Narrated Ibn 'Umar:
I heard Allah's Apostle saying, "While I was sleeping, I was given a bowl full of milk (in a dream), and I drank of it to my fill until I noticed its wetness coming out of my nails, and then I gave the rest of it to 'Umar." They (the people) asked, "What have you interpreted (about the dream)? O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "(It is Religious) knowledge."

Volume 9, Book 87, Number 167: Narrated Ibn 'Umar:
Allah's Apostle said, "The worst lie is that a person claims to have seen a dream which he has not seen."

One of the most interesting discussions that we had was regarding the term muslim. By definition the term means one who submits to the will of Allah (swt). A couple people brought up the notion of not calling themselves muslims because they feared they were not worthy of such a huge title and responsibility for fear of having someone mistake their complete everyday actions as the actions of a Muslim. We are human. We're not perfect by design. Angels submit to the will of Allah (swt), by defintion that makes them Muslim. However, nothing is said in the accepted definition of muslim as being a conscious decision or not, as you know angels are not conscious thinkers, just doers. They do as Allah (swt) says.

The counter arguement: you can still identify yourself as a Muslim, just knowing its a work in progress.

Rebuttal: If the term is more so of an identity, not a conscious thought, whats in a name? Its all about intentions which Allah knows already. What difference does it make if I choose to title myself a muslim or not. (By any other name would still smell as sweet --- haha... Shakespeare.)

I agree before the day of Judgement Dajjal will look onto foreheads of people and be able to read who is kafir or not, BUT... whether or not you call yourself a muslim...your actions will speak loudest.

Of course discussions are the best part of every halaqa. There will be disagreements, there will be emotion. The one thing to remember: We do not know everything about Islam. Whatever we know is still but a drop next to the entire ocean. We can agree to disagree and let opinions be heard. Never should we make a mockery of anything anyone says. To seek knowledge is to want to be comfortable in an environment where one can fee safe coming to inquire and possibly resolve personal issues. At the start of every halaqa, one should recite a dua asking Allah (swt) to bless the congregation and make clear the intention to seek ilam (knowledge) as opposed to seek ways to distort the religion, its texts, morals, and/or principles in any way shape or form so as to seek personal benefit by it. Also remember, anger comes from Shaitan. When you are angry you are under his control. Rid yourself of him and calmly accept each other and their ideas.

Insha'Allah, I hope we can begin the ritual again of having halaqa as a routine. It's a blessing what a couple hours immersed in Islam can do for our soul.

:P

Sick at Home

Ok, so I was sick yesterday and Im still sick at home. Went to the ER last night and I wanted to screeeeeeeeeeeeam. We got there at 11p and I KID YOU NOT the ER was dead!!! DEAD I tell you! And we didnt leave until three hours later. Two docs were working --- and I use the term loosely.

My roomie took me and we waited and waited and waited. Once I got a room, laying on the bed, I almost fell asleep. My roomie started to get a little giddy from sleep as well. She started to mess with all the things in the room. "Let's play DOCTOR" she says. A phrase which drudges up bad memories of a childhood where I always got stuck being Dr. Kavorkian's patient! :P

She starts to wrap the blood pressure cuff around my arm -- now this really does scare me. I dont like when it gets tight because I freak out, but usually when the nurse does it right as I am about to go over the edge it releases. This time, it gets tighter and tighter and doesnt release. I look at my roomie's confused face, fidgeting with the release and then she says words that no one should EVER utter around me, "Why is this not working?!" Oh my GOD that was it for me...

GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! I feel my arm going NUMB and I panick. She looks down, quickly unwraps the cuff and I sigh relief, arm throbbing, I look for my panick/nurse button to be saved from my friend who is trying to kill me!

Next, she takes my temperature. Girl was seriously tired. She checked mine and hers. Hers: 99F. Mine: 97.3F

Roomie: Im hotter than you!!! ;)

She then proceeds to checking my ears and she swears she sees buildup, and wait, wait, OH MY GOD something is moving ----

Me: GIVE ME THAT!
I check her ears. I have always wanted to look. It was really cool. From the corner of my eye I see someone watching us, then clearing their throat. I glance up to see this cute guy looking at us, shaking his head and my roomie and I laugh and get red in the face. He says, Im going to have to keep an eye on you two!! Yeah, whatever. :D

It took three damn hours before I was checked out. Turns out I was right. Right on the money about what I had. The ER Doc was confident until he realized I knew what was up. The nurse took a culture. I was given antibiotic and sent home.

I went to sleep immediately when I got home. I feel awful for my roommate who had to go to work and drill in people's teeths. Im staying home, iA, until my culture comes back. My doc will have results by Wednesday, hopefully clearing me to come to work Thursday.

I bought a new phone online yesterday. Its the enV from Verizon. Pretty cool phone. It should come in the mail tomorrow. Thats good, it will give me something to play with while Im sick.

Monday, April 14, 2008

BHANGRA BLOWOUT: A WEEKEND TO REMEMBER

Bhangra Blowout for those who don't know is this competition started about 15 years back for college teams to show off their bhangra skills and compete against other colleges nationwide. The competition is generally held in the spring time and every year for the longest time I have been unable to make it... except this year.

Two friends and I finally got our shit together in time enough to not only make plans but actually follow through this year for Bhangra Blowout 15! Now... because its me.. you can IMAGINE its going to be a crazy trip.... just how crazy even surprised me a bit, visibly shaken not stirred. ;)

Our journey actually started on Friday night when we were planning the last minute details to our trip. I offered to drive us all down and back in hopes of making a memorable roadtrip, memorable in deed. Saturday morning we drove down from Philly to Bethesda, MD. parking in a parking garage under a building. We were meeting my best friend there and taking the metro into DC to walk the Cherry Blossom Street festival (btw -- where were the cherry blossoms!??!! I didnt even notice any!) As we were parking, free parking on weekends, for the first time ever in my life but not the last definitely, I parked my car without a glance around to see what time the garage closes, no ticket, nothing.

We took the metro into DC -- walked the festival, ate, looked around (apparently not at cherry blossoms -- haha.. im still laughing about that), then my two friends and I left for the show and my best friend went back home. We took a cab to the venue and waited in line at WILL CALL for tickets. Now, I reserved tickets, and I didnt think the address issue would flare up (I live in Philly with a MD driver's license -- yes, I know.. I should switch) but it did! Almost didnt get tickets, but before my punjabi side kicked in the lady gave in and handed me my tickets.

Outside, I decided to text message my little sister -- I was teasing her about being at BB with RDB & K.S. Makhan coming and her NOT being there because she's a PUNK! I looked in my bag and kept searching.........searching............ SEARCHING?!?!?!!?! Where the hell is my phone?!

I. LOST. MY. PHONE.?!?!?!

OMG I lost my freakkkin cell phone!!!! Not sure where to start, where to look, who returns found cell phones, good samaritan my left toe!, AUUUGH!!!! I narrow it down to possibly having it fall out of my pocket in the cab ride on the way over. I called verizon and planned to suspend my service but they operator reminded me I may wish to keep it open so I can talk with the person who finds my phone, possibly. They were seating for the show, and there was NOTHING keeping me from watching and having a great time, still. I reasoned that it was the weekend and no one could drain my mintues so I kept calling my phone from friend's phone, but entered auditorium to be seated.

The show was fabulously amazing -- soo much energy... so much pride... so much culture and tradition all around me! I was flooored by how the young Punjabi generation is so tied to their roots and equally floored at how well small small children were fluently speaking punjabi! All in all -- the show was worth it! VCU won the competition and rightfully so!

We get out from the show at around 11p right after announcement of winners -- we wanted to beat the rush out. We got to the street and tried to hail a cab. I ended up meeting one of my bloggers on the street while i was on the phone with verizon. I felt bad at not being able to talk but I was visibly distraught over deciding whether or not to suspend my service, hail a cab, and talk to this new friend all at the same time.

My friends found a cab, I said goodbye to friend, and we were on our way to station. At the station my friend tells me to let the phone thing go. And I had. I had another phone at home that I could use. My service would be switched over and all would be good again. The cabbie on the way to the metro was funny. He turned out to be a Pakistani muslim. (Funny side note: I get the feeling most cabbies in DC are Pakistani muslims as opposed to like NYC or somewhere where most are Sardarjis or indian.)

Paki cabbie: What's the cab number in which you lost the phone?
Me (BLANKING COMPLETELY!): Oh, I didnt even think to check the number. I would have if I planned to lose something in it so I could call back and check.... ??
Paki cabbie: Yeah, if you dont have the number its hard. You probably wont find it. What color was it?
Me: (again... this guy doesnt get it -- all I know is it was a car!) I dont know. My friends said it was brown.
Paki cabbie: They're all brown, mostly.
(SHIT!)
Me: Do most cabbies return found items?
Paki cabbie (now totally flirting and laying in on thick): If it was me, I would go to any corner of the world to return it to you.

Yeah, sure. Anyway, we make it back to the station and my friend is talking to another friend who we were trying to meet up with in Bmore. She says, "Where are you? And where is Farah? She's calling me. Doesn't she know Im on phone with you?" My BB friend immediately shrieks, "ANSWER THE PHONE! Its the person who found Farahs phone!" She missed the call and the person hung up. But then they called my BB friend and she gave the phone to me.

YES. HE FOUND MY PHONE. HE, TOO, TURNED OUT TO BE PAKISTANI MUSLIM, KAREEM BHAI. He had my phone and we planned to drive down to DC -- which Ive never done by myself in my life, that too at 12a! Bethesda is about twenty-thirty minutes outside of DC. Shouldnt have taken long.

Right? WRONG! We get to the garage and its CLOSED with my car stuck inside.

Ok -- seriously -- WHAT THE FUCK? No, seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

Long story short ------- my friends ended up having to take anktrak back to Philly. I called my Bethesda dwelling friend, 1am, to come pick me up. I stayed the night with her -- couldnt sleep at all -- started to get sick -- prayers on my lips we went the next morning to see if the gate was up otherwise I would have to wait for Monday morning to get my car out. No ticket or anything to show for the car being mine. Its not even registered to me!

Thankfully, the garage door was up. Apparently the garage is NOT even open on weekends. Its a private garage with remote access for building employees. I got in because there was a cleaning crew cleaning who left the gate up and I drove in and parked. I finally got my car at 10a, but Kareem bhai would not begin his shift until 6-630p. Im full fledged flu mode now, and remember I dont have a phone to contact anyone... Kareem bhai was answering my phone in case I called but I was calling from different numbers so technically he could have answered when anyone called. What if my father called? He would have put together Farah... cellphone... found in cab and PANICKED. rightfully, so.

I was beginning to get so sick, I called my brother -- remember we're Marylanders -- and he said he would be going to DC and he would pick up my phone. I called him back, gave him all of Kareem bhais info and left it all up to Allah (swt).

Kareem bhai (when I commended him on his noble intentions): Why would I risk weakening my iman over keeping something that belongs to someone else.

Wow, there ARE good people left in this world! I drove back to Philly -- by the time I got home I had a message from my best friend flashing on machine: Your brother has your phone. I quickly called verizon and switched phones to another phone that I still had, which has since run out of battery, rendering me, again, with no phone.

Crazy weeekend. I should have let my parents know about my plans. Something always happens when I don't. So many lessons to learn -- it was all unintentional of course. Never meant for any of this to happen its just my luck. Literally.

Im very blessed to have my phone, my car and my friends and I back safe. :D

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis


Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you

My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I


Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Pearls of Wisdom


(click to enlarge!)
http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20080328.html