Wednesday, July 25, 2007

It's Time...


...to say goodbye! :D

Yes, I am closing my beloved blog and running off in pursuit of my dreams. Much thanks to those who read and kept refreshing, page after page. Ive learned a lot within the past year, have come far from keeping everything blocked inside, to at least being able to write about it. It was a big step. The blog has been therapeutic.

Keeping a blog has helped me see my own writing ability grow and develop, and given me hope to venture out and try my hand at writing, not so much as a career because the sciences still have my heart, but just as a side hobby. Its given me insight into just how much words can touch/mean/harm and how many moods I can lift, mA, mine as well.

I will leave the blog up for the day, but tonight I will take it off from the public eye. If there are any posts in particular that you liked, let me know and I will email you a copy.

Salaam and goodbye for now. Please keep me in your prayers and iA may you one day come across one of my books. Even if I never get published, I will remember where it all started, the feeling I felt after each post that came from the heart, the feedback that I got, and none of it will have been in vain.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My Simple Life


This past Saturday is where my nightmare starts. Early in the morning I wake up and come into my living room. Ten minutes later all my electricity gets shut off. Puzzled, I call upstairs to my landlady's house and inquire about their electricity. Theirs is fine.
Uh-oh, I think. I call the electric company and for the next 3 hours scream, shout, bitch, complain, and threaten (ok no I didnt do this) them into turning it back on. Come to find out, Friday afternoon my landlady decides to switch over the electricity into my name, albeit 10 months later. Of course she cannot do this without my ok, so she tells them she will contact me and tell me to call in and have it switched over. God knows why, but the order is placed as a turn-off rather than a switch-over. The turn-off usually happens within three days, but because Im so lucky, it got done that same Saturday.

So there I am, in my apartment with no electricity. My immediate thought went to my refridgerator. I didnt have much in my fridge, but my freezer was stocked full of frozen items. I knew I had to do something about that, so I gave my landlady most of my fridge items when she came down to apologize. My first thoughts after that: I'll just watch movies instead of cable. DUH! The electricity went, not the cable. No electricity, no TV. Second thought: No AC. Thats ok, I'll just use the fan. DUH! No electricity, no fan. Third thought: Fine, this will force me to read Quran -- WELL I MOTHER FREAKING CANT DO THAT EITHER RIGHT NOW! Fourth thought (and this is the funniest): OMG OMG OMG. How will I sleep at night without a light???

We dont realize just how many things run on electricity until you slowly realize you cant use any of the items. Nothing.

But, Alhamdullilah, Im blessed to have a friend close by who invited me over to her house for the night, but I decided to go home to my parents'. My mom and sister were leaving for Canada for two weeks, so I really wanted to see them off.

Originally, I was told that my electricity would be restored Thursday, to which I replied that was out of the question! Screaming and bitching helps, I got it switched to Monday after threatening to walk outside and flip the "switch" myself.

I come home Monday afternoon, expecting a huge mess to be spilling out of my freezer, but it wasnt too terribly bad. The ice bag I had had only partially melted, but everything else was ruined. 15 minutes and four bags of trash later everything was cleaned up.

Ma: Well atleast one good thing came of it: it forced you to clean out your fridge and get rid of everything in your freezer that you had no intention of ever using. (That and then some!)
The one good thing that came of the darkness was that it forced me to stay out of the apartment for most of the daylight hours. I had a lot of fun, too. I went shopping to the little outside markets. I had pizza for lunch from my favorite place thats a drive aways but it was worth it. Then, I went to my favorite store ever: Barnes & Noble. I took my books and studied in the sunlight in one of the most comfiest chairs ever.

So, all ends well, that usually never starts well, SubhanAllah. I've come out of the dark, and back into the light. Electricity is a pretty cool tool.
Friday night was awesome. I met my father at my elder sister's house for dinner and I got to see the best children in the world! As they grow, they're growing into personalities and developing their own likes and dislikes and tempers. And... Im proud to say, they've inherited my family's genes for story-telling.
Idrees' story: There once was a King named Idrees. And a queen named Farah Khala. King Idrees went to the beach and he fought with a monster.
Fatima: There's no such thing as monsters! The monster fell into the water.
Thats right babes, you tell him! No such thing as monsters. Just dont ask Farah Khala why she sleeps with a light! :P
The funniest thing:
Baji: Idrees, beta, give the adhan.
Idrees: Now?
Baji: Yes, beta.
Idrees: But who's going to come?
(Cutee... he thinks there has to be a lot of people in order to make adhan effective. Kinda like, Im not giving adhan for JUST these guys --- thanks.. love ya too!)
Baji: Yes, beta, you give adhan and watch. We'll all come to pray.
Idrees: Really?!
Then he looks at me.
Idrees: Farah Khala are you going to pray, too.
Ah, hell. The ONE time he gives adhan and I cant pray. Perfect timing, really. Thank God he forgot all about me not being in the lineup after giving adhan. Thats another good thing about children: shorter attention spans.
:D

The Virgin Birth and the Immaculate MisConception

In signout last Friday with an attending the topic of immaculate conception came up. I had always thought that the Christian belief regarding Prophet Isa's (saw), or Jesus', birth was the doctrine of immaculate conception being in that he was conceived without the "help" of a man.


Attending: The immaculate conception is not regarding Jesus, but his mother, Mary's own birth as coming about without original sin.


Original sin? Isnt that a movie with Antonio Banderas and Angelina Jolie? Throughly confused and not wanting to step on any toes I digressed to my own thoughts and decided to poll my Muslim friends on the subject.


After I got several conflicting answers and some sincere "I dont know"s, I decided to launch a full-fledged investigation and, of course, blog my findings. I shall post what Muslims believe, follow up with what Christians believe, showcase major discrepancies and close with a short summary iA.


Revered to be one of the most noble and chaste women in Islamic history, she is one of the few given great honor and distinction of having a surah in her name. The story of Mariam ibn Imran (Surah Imran), arabic for maidservant of Allah *swt*, as outlined in Surah Mariam (19) begins in her mother's womb. Her mother offered her child to serve Allah *swt* and even though a female child was born, He still accepted her. "…and God knew best what she brought forth-



'And no wise is the male like the female. I have named her Mariam, and I commend her and her offspring to Thy protection from Satan, the Rejected." - Quran 3:36


Mariam's miraculous conception occurs as she withdraws from her family. Here she is visited by the angel Jibrail. He tells her of news of a son. She is confused.


She asked: "How shall I have a son, seeing that no man has touched me, and I am not unchaste?" (Quran 19:20). The Angel Gabriel said: "So (it will be): thy Lord saith, 'That is easy for Me: and (We wish) to appoint him as a Sign unto men and a Mercy from Us.' It is a matter (so) decreed." (Quran 19:21). Mary then becomes pregnant.


Muslims do not offer Prophet Isa's virginal birth as evidence to his divinity. Muslims believe he is a messenger, a Prophet of Allah *swt* with no father and just a mother. On the Day of Judgement, when all will be raised by their fathers' names, Prophet Isa (saw) will be raised by his mother's. I must find out whom Prophet Adam (saw) and Amma Hawa will be raised under.


Christians believe in the immaculate conception in which Mary, Mariam as Muslims know her, was born without original sin. What is original sin? Original sin (also called ancestral sin, hereditary sin, birth sin, or person sin) is the fallen state of humanity. It refers to the first sin, committed when Adam and Eve succumbed to the serpent's temptation, commonly known as "the Fall". (as cited in wikipedia) Muslims do not believe in the original sin concept. Islam teaches that all children are pure and innocent separate from the sins of their ancestors.


Christians also believe in the virginal birth governing Prophet Isa, Jesus' birth. The main difference between the two religions is the Christian belief that Jesus is the son of God.


Allahu alim, He knows best. Believe what you will, but do not be a hypocrite. Stand by your belief and what itches your brain, scratch it and find answers iA.

Monday, July 23, 2007

What's Funnier?

A woman screaming from turtles or a young boy playing with barbie dolls?

Marge


The original one that I had messed up. Grrr!

Zabiha


Friday, July 20, 2007

...Yeah But They're Funny! - Jokes

Jose and Carlos are panhandling at the freeway off ramp.

Jose drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.

Carlos asks Jose how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.

Jose says, "Look at your sign essay." It reads: "I have no work, a wife & 6 kids to support"

Carlos looks at Jose's sign. It reads: "I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico"


The Five Answers We Have All Been Waiting For

Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?

A: It's Braille for "suck here".

Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?

A: It's the same as a French kiss, but "down under."

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?

A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES ORIGINALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?

A: Because when they come, they are wild and wet. However, when they go, they take your house and car with them.

Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?

A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch.

Thought for the day:

What is a man's ultimate embarrassment?

Answer: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose


Involuntary Muscular Contractions

A Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary Muscular Contractions" to his first year medical students. Realizing that this was not the most riveting subject, the Professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,

"Do you know what your ass hole is doing while you're having an orgasm?"

She replied, "Probably deer hunting with his buddies."

The professor laughed so hard he could not continue with the class.


Sign in a Business Window

"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN"

This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business . . and that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement . . We are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign.

You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?

Answer: A Funeral Home
(Who said morticians had no sense of humor?)

Why I Dont Have A Boyfriend

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy

When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch
Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know.
From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up.
And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide.

OUTofSOURCEs

Is it just me, or is anyone else noticing how Lady Liberty looks like she's sportin' a sari with a lit diya in her hand? With a huge percentage of jobs being outsourced to India, are we surprised? (click on the pic to enlarge it and you can see I added a tika and a nose ring!)

Not for nothing Im not knockin on India at all. Im saying whenever you take jobs away from the US, from US citizens, and give it to someone on the outside you hurt the economy. Sure, you can pay someone less on the outside, but the consequences are dire in house. That one job that goes outside causes a man to have to possibly relocate his family to find income elsewhere, or even have to move into subsidized housing, or worse on the street.


It trickles down and affects everyone because that man who used to have a job is now homeless, most likely stealing to make ends meet which puts everyone on the street with him at the same time any given day at risk.

If this country is built on the middle class's dollar and we're now becoming jobless, then who will eventually have to pick up the tab?

Bart Simpson - an FN masterpiece

I'm pleased to say, I CAN FINALLY DRAW BART SIMPSON after trying for years and then giving up. This, too, on MS-PAINT. Pretty neat, huh?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

BOREDOM




Alhamdullilah Someone Noticed

("There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people.")

The Way I Are

This beat is HOT! Its got ROLLER RINK written all over it! Check it out!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=iWg3IMN_rhU

[Verse 1 - Timbaland]
I ain't got no money
I ain't got no car to take you on a date
I can't even buy you flowers
But together we be the perfect soulmates
Talk to me girl

[Bridge - Keri Hilson]
(Oh) Baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta flaunt for me
If we go and touch, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus] - Keri Hilson & (D.O.E)
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like, I like, I like...

[Verse 2 - Timbaland]
I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
It don't matter 'cause I'm the one that loves you best
Talk to me girl

[Bridge 2 - Keri Hilson]
Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta floss for me
If we go and touch, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus] - Keri Hilson & (D.O.E)
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quick
Can you handle me the way I are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are

[Verse 3 - D.O.E.]
Baby girl, I don't got a huge ol' house I rent a room in a house
Listen baby girl, I ain't got a motorboat but I can float ya boat
So listen baby girl, once you get a dose of D.O.E. you gon' want some mo'
So listen baby girl, when I make it I want you there, want you there, want you there, yeah
Your body ain't Pamela Anderson,
Its a struggle just to get you in the caravan,
But listen baby girl,
Before I let you lose a pound I'll buy a bigger car,
So listen baby girl,I love you just the way you are, the way you are

[Bridge 2 - Keri Hilson]
Oh, baby, it's alright now, you ain't gotta floss for me
If we go and touch, you can still touch my love, it's free
We can work without the perks just you and me
Thug it out 'til we get it right

[Chorus] - Keri Hilson & (D.O.E)
Baby if you strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are
(I'm about to strip and I want it quickCan you handle me the way I are?)
I don't need the cheese or the car keys
Boy I like you just the way you are
Let me see ya strip, you can get a tip
'Cause I like you just the way you are

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

PERFECT

(click to enlarge)

NASTY GROSS!

Ok I tried it. Thresaji and I tried the meeta paan Uncleji gave me.

IM STILL SPITTING STUFF OUT! Vile nasty, nasty horrible gross paan!

Thresaji: Meine aisa zindagi mein kabhi nahi kaya!

I have befores and afters. Note the product name and heed my warning and stay away!

Amisha doesnt know she's endorsing crap!

Chewed up and spit out into the trashcan. I tried. I chewed for 1/2 a minute and then I damn near lost the contents of my stomach.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Put That In Your Paan And Chew It!


Colors And What They Mean

Check out your favorite colors and their meanings. For the longest time my favorite color was purple. I find it interesting that the color purple is the blending of two of the most intense colors, red and blue, one cooling and one warming. Being the middle child I always lived my life somewhere in the middle in everything I did and thought. I could argue both sides of an argument, and never really get worked up much about any one issue in particular. However, with different stages of my life, my color preferences have changed. Ive always been a blue fan -- sapphire baby! -- but I find myself attracted to red more and more. I believe this stems from a subconscious decision to want to step away from the middle of the road purple to being confident enough to be either blue or red on a subject.

Take a look and you may find you like certain colors for a reason.


Red

Red is the warmest of all colors. Red is the color most chosen by extroverts and one of the top picks of males. On the negative side red can mean temper or anger. In China, red is the color of prosperity and joy. Brides wear red and front doors are often painted red. Red is Tuesday's color. Red roses symbolize passionate love. Ruby rings should be worn on the left hand. Red is the color of Mars. This planet is known as the God of War.

Red Energy
Red is associated with fiery heat and warmth. It can also mean danger (burning).

Red is the color of blood, and as such has strong symbolism as life and vitality. It brings focus to the essence of life and living with emphasis on survival. Red is also the color of passion and lust.

Put some red in your life when you want:

increased enthusiasm and interest
more energy
action and confidence to go after your dreams
protection from fears and anxieties

Blue

Blue is the coolest color - the color of the sky, ocean, sleep, twilight. The ancient Egyptians used lapis lazuli to represent heaven. Blue symbolizes the Virgin Mary. A pure blue is the color of inspiration, sincerity and spirituality. Blue is often the chosen color by conservative people. Blue is the calming color. That makes it a wonderful color to use in the home, especially for babies. Blue is so soothing that is a good choice for pajamas. Dark blue is the color of truth and moderation. A blue iris means your friendship is very important to me. Wednesday's color is blue. Blue gemstones to wear to feel calm are blue sapphire and blue topaz. Lapis lazuli and azurite are said to heighten psychic power.

Blue Energy
Blue gives a feeling of distance. Artists use it to to show perspective. This is a good way to understand the energy of the color blue - it allows us to look beyond and increase our perspective outward. It contains a cool vibration that is helpful to communication.

The vibration if blue can be used to open energy flow where it is blocked. Using blue to relax will encourage feelings of communication and peace.

Put some blue in your life when you want:

calm and relaxation to counteract chaos or agitation
to open the flow of communication
to broaden your perspective in learning new information
solitude and peace

Green

Color Green



Green is the color of nature, fertility, life. Grass green is the most restful color. Green symbolizes self-respect and well being. Green is the color of balance. It also means learning, growth and harmony. Green is a safe color, if you don't know what color to use anywhere use green.

Green is favored by well balanced people. Green symbolizes the master healer and the life force. It often symbolizes money. It was believed green was healing for the eyes. Egyptians wore green eyeliner. Green eyeshades are still used. You should eat raw green foods for good health. Friday is the day of green. Green jade is a sacred stone of Asia.

Green Energy
Green contains the powerful energies of nature, growth, desire to expand or increase. Balance and a sense of order are found in the color green. Change and transformation is necessary for growth, and so this ability to sustain changes is also a part of the energy of green.

Put some green in your life when you want:

a new state of balance
feel a need for change or growth
freedom to pursue new ideas
protection from fears and anxieties connected with the demands of others

Yellow

The shade of yellow determines the meaning. Pure, bright and sunny yellow is the easiest color to see. People who are blind to other colors can usually see yellow. Yellow is full of creative and intellectual energy. Always use yellow note pads.

Yellow symbolizes wisdom. Yellow means joy and happiness. People of high intellect favor yellow. Yellow daffodils are a symbol of unrequited love. Sunday's color is yellow-gold.

Yellow Energy
Like the energy of a bright sunny day, yellow brings clarity and awareness. The shade of yellow determines its effect: Yellow-green can mean deceit, and creates a disoriented feeling. Orange-yellow imparts a sense of establishment. Clean light yellow clears the mind, making it active and alert.

Put some yellow in your life when you want:

clarity for decision-making
relief from 'burnout', panic, nervousness, exhaustion
sharper memory and concentration skills
protection from lethargy and depression during dull weather

White

White is the color of purity. Brides wear white in many countries, because white symbolizes a virgin. White means kindness. In some cultures white is worn at funerals. White is Monday's color. White daisies are a symbol of loyal love.

White Energy
Strictly speaking, white is not a color, but the manifestation of the presence of all color - the complete energy of light. It stands for wholeness and completion. In many cultures it represents openness and truth. White has a cold quality. It can provide clarity as its energy is complete.

White has purification vibrations and can be used to clear blocks from your path.

It holds the potential to move toward every other color and this makes it a good choice for new beginnings, and development in any direction.

Put some white in your life when you want:

to clear clutter and obstacles away
to start a fresh beginning
to bring about mental clarity
purification of thoughts or actions

Black

Black is the most misunderstood color. A black tie dinner is very formal and elegant. Women can wear that "must have little black dress" to the black tie dinner. Yet the bad guys wear black hats. Black symbolizes death in some cultures. Native Americans thought black was good because it was the color of soil, which gives life. Saturday's color is black.

Black Energy
Black is not a color, strictly speaking. It is the absence of all color. When people speak of opposites, it is usually in terms of black and white. Black, and its opposite white, represent polarities. Black absorbs all aspects of light. While white reveals, black conceals. It has come to mean hidden, fearful or bad experience. It is linked to the unknown or the unseen.

In times of fear and uncertainty black contains the energy of the threatening unknown. In a positive state, black is seen as a restful emptiness into which anything may emerge and disappear once again. It is also mysterious, providing a sense of potential and possibility.

Put some black in your life when you want:

to become inconspicuous
to open the door to mystery
to prepare for the unknown
a restful emptiness

Pink

Pink is the color of universal love. Pink is a quiet color. Lovers of beauty favor pink. A pink carnation means "I will never forget you".

Pink Energy
Pink is a combination of red and white. The quality of energy in pink is determined by how much red is present. White is the potential for fullness, while red helps you to achieve that potential. Pink combines these energies. Shades of deep pink, such as magenta, are effective in neutralizing disorder and violence. Some prisons use limited deep pink tones to diffuse aggressive behaviour.

Pink provides feelings of caring, tenderness, self-worth and love, acceptance.

Put some pink in your life when you want:

calm feelings
to neutralize disorder
relaxation
acceptance, contentment

(I had my toes painted a pale pink yesterday!)

RED RUM



The past few nights have been really freaky in my apartment. I dont know why. Ok Im lying. I do know why. Yesterday I couldnt get spooky thoughts out of my head and I almost called Aisha to come spend the night -- of course I wasnt going to tell her I was afraid, pshh, she'd never ever come over again! I lay in bed for awhile not really wanting to look anywhere for fear of catching a glimpse of a dark shadow or figure or smokeless fire. I fell asleep reciting over and over Audu Billahi Minashaitanir Rajim .

I woke up in the middle of the night and it was uncomfortably hot in my room and immediately all I noticed were my red valence on the far window and the red towel hanging on my closet door. Intense. Vibrant Shade of red. Intense heat. It was very weird.

So naturally I do research on colors and dreams because I feel like I was in a state in between awake and asleep and here is what I found:

RED - Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions.

I cannot help but laughingly scold my mind, "Bad Mind! Bad Mind!" Hahaha. What the hell? Oh. Hell. Fire. Red. Intense energy. DAMN!

So this is what I suppose is the reason behind the intense red catching my eye (because I fear any other explanation would paint me in a horrible light haha):

1.) Farah-mones. Hehe. People tend to give out an energy and this energy gets absorbed by the environment and I suppose it happened to be absorbed into the red towel and my red valence the most. It is scientific fact that a woman at a certain peak of her menstrual cycle sends out massive amounts of pheromones as signals for mating. Apparently, my pheromones are red. :D
(hey! I warned you yesterday to stay away!)

2.) The heat. Depending on the weather outside, it can get very hot in my room and heat has a way of making people loopy or playing tricks on your mind --- think about the desert and mirages.

I suppose I cant say it was a dream but it was definitely a state in between. Ive been thinking lately about Jinn and what scares me is that Jinn have a way of infiltrating your mind and causing you to do certain things. Certain psychoses have not yet been explained but what if their root cause is Jinn? Sleep-walking can be explained by Jinn. The person gets up and roams around and in the end has no recollection of it at all.

I wake up every night in the middle of the night. Last night was particularly strange because I woke up and went into my living room and checked my email. But the only thing is I remember it. That goes against the explanation of Jinn. I rememeber waking up and checking my email.

Perhaps its just my restless mind?

Monday, July 16, 2007

You Don't Know Scary Like I Know Scary

Have you ever thought horror flick after horror flick, scary book after scary book, flop after freakkin flop that either something's wrong with you or scary just isnt scary enough anymore?

If so I challenge you to write your own scary story. Unleash the horrors in the deepest, darkest realms of your imagination and put your own fears into words and I guarantee you'll sleep with the light on for a very long time... that is if you're even able to start writing let alone finish.

I thought about all the greatest horror authors of our times and I wondered, Did they ever write anything that they found truly frightening? I know enough about all the true stories in my life that made my skin crawl and my own jinn stories that stole my own breath away to know that if I were to write a story, I'd most likely never be able to read it myself.

Our ideas and our own fears are like our own fingerprints, or identity. They are a part of us like nothing else and so they affect us more so than others. Our minds have a way of sugarcoating things we read or see and downplaying them into something thats not reality, yet when we ourselves are the authors, and the fears are products of our own minds its harder to get that same mind to believe its not real. The line between reality and make believe get switched or erased altogether.

I'd love to be able to hand someone the greatest horror their life has ever known, or their mind will ever conceive, but not at the expense of my own sanity.

SO check this out. Theres a movie called "The Jinn" already. A group of 20-something year olds in an unknown area being attacked by jinn or something like that. Here's the website: http://www.newmotionpictures.com/thejinn

They stole my idea -- grrr!! Well, they stole the idea of my story, and my title but their plot stinks. I could have done much better, but Im too afraid to write haha. If I would, Id hire a TEAM of people to do dhikr around the compound non-stop. You rememeber what happened to the Poltergiest crew right? People dropping dead left and right like flies.

May Allah (swt) protect us from those we cannot see who may wish to harm us for our very nature of being a more superior creation. Ameen.

It's ALIVE, Run For Your Lives!





Consider yourself warned. Guys: When you run, run like hell and whatever you do: DO NOT LOOK BACK!

Financial Planning vs. Marriage



I had an interesting conversation with a friend Friday afternoon about relationships that made me retreat into my thoughts and ponder how not unlike finances relationships really are. This of course brought up the issue of how I am on point in neither one of the two.

The similarities exist in the manner in which both entities affect our lives and emotional well-beings. Financial distress has the ability to make or break a person's day as does dwelling on the fact that one is alone on a Friday night watching dust settle on a coffee table thats been polished one too many times.

Like marriage and relationships, the financial world is a risky business. The institution governing the state of affairs is the Stock Market. It has its ups and downs and when its down, the consequences can be grave. You marry into the institution with high hopes and keen interest on doubling your assets in years to come. You start off slow and you win some and you lose some. Depending on what you invest in you can either come out on top or way under. It takes careful planning, money, and time to build your portfolio, but most of all it takes patience. It's very hard not to be tempted to pull out prematurely when times are rough.

I'm no financial manager but investing in marriage is the same deal. Starting early is a surefire plan ie. taking the time to meet people, getting to know them, increase your market value, network, eventually settling into a share that iA will prove to be worthy.

In the beginning we all start out liquid. No debts or regrets, no failures, no market crashes, no miscommunications, no bankruptcies. With relationships there is no 401K rollover, you dont get to take your investment with you when you end relationships. You have to start all over again, but what we do have are our experiences which translate into equity that we can borrow against. Lessons learned will surely guide us into making sounder choices and decisions in the future. Relationships are risky business, but we have to take a chance and know when its time to cut our losses and move on.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

INTERPRETATION

To dream of being rejected signifies a lack of self-worth and alienation of others.

YIKES! I came up with that on my own in the Rejection post and apparently its what the dream dictionary has to say as well.

Anonymous: i had a dream where i had a phone interview
Farah: To dream that you are at an interview, denotes your anxiety over being judged by others.
Anonymous: You and your dream interpretation, witchcraft, voodoo, black magic...and whatever else goes on in your head. Do you keep a dream catcher over your bed and sleep by candle lights?
Farah: dont hate. did I hit a soft spot!?
Anonymous: lol you wish
Farah: yeah I thought so ;)
Anonymous: believe something all you want...doesn't make it true ;) is this how you justify the fantasy world you reside in?
Farah: touche.

Paan Time

Magazine stand Uncle Jee, who always manages to greet me as I walk by in the morning and again at night, and I have now begun a more verbal exchange since he found out that Im Pakistani and can speak urdu, or hindi as he calls it. He's begun wearing kurta pyjama to work. It looks amazingly desi and for a second as I cross his stand I get the feeling of being on a Bollywood set, honestly the heat makes it seem all the more real. Here's the exchange that took place this morning:

Me: Uncle you should sell paan at your stand too.
Uncle Jee: Paan?
Me: Yes, paan. I've never tried it before but I think to accent your outfit you need to sell paan as well.
UJ: You've never had paan before?
Me (to myself): Do I look South Indian to you!?
Me: No, not at all.
UJ: Not even in Pakistan?!

Abay, meine tere ko bola na re. Nai khaya tho bolay nai khaya, na! Samjha kar.

Me: No, Ive only been to Pakistan once.
UJ: Oh, you were born here.

Do I detect pity in his voice? Haha.

UJ: Paan kahan se milay ga.
Me: Jersey
UJ: Haan, wahan par tho hai. Here the only place is Bensalem.
Me: Arrey, thats near where I live. Tell me the place and I'll buy some and bring it. Dono ek saath khayen gay.

I cant believe Im asking an Uncle Jee guy to eat paan with me. Kya yaad rakhain gay yeh bhi! LOL. Inki tho setting ho gayi. I am SO joking! :D

What Uncle Jee says next catches me off guard and really calls my bluff.

UJ: I will get it and you will have it Monday.

Ok one thing I will never understand is the paan industry. What is the fascination? What drives people mad for paan? Its like the Krispy Kreme of the South-Asian subcontinent. I'll swear up and down they put some sort of drug in Krispy Kreme to keep everyone coming back for more. What makes paan paan?

Of course, I look to Wikipedia for answers:
Paan - Betel Leaf, pan (in many Indic languages, हिन्दी : पान ), or beeda (in Tamil) is a type of Indian digestive, which consists of fillings wrapped in a triangular package using leaves of the Betel pepper (Piper betle) and held together with a toothpick or a clove. Paan is an ubiquitous sight in North India, but in urban areas, chewing paan is generally considered a nuisance because some spit the paan out in public areas.

My life's goal has been to eat it and spit the juice into someone's pocket like in the movies. READ: Someone else's pocket. Not mine. :D

Paan is available in many different forms and flavours. The most commonly found include:

Tobacco (tambaku paan): Betel leaf filled with powdered tobacco with spices.
Betel nut (paan supari or sada paan): Betel leaf filled with a mixture consisting of a coarsely ground or chopped betel nuts and other spices, called paan masala.
"Sweet" (meetha paan): Betel leaf with neither tobacco nor betel nuts. The filling is made up primarily of coconut, fruit preserves, and various spices. It is also often served with a maraschino cherry.

Tobacco? Does paan have an age limit in India/Pakistan? For that matter, does paan have an age limit in the US?? Im so not into chewing tobacco.

Anyway, I shall continue to freak out up until Monday. I'll let you know how it goes.

REJECTION


It must be the heat because I dont remember coming across any mushrooms on my way back to my apartment. I had the most bizarre night full of strange dreams. The dream that actually woke me up, or that I remember the most vividly is the dream where I got a rejection email from a guy. I kid you not I remember the who the what and his why completely. It woke me up because it cracked me up. It was a total "WHAT THE HELL???" dream. In my tranquil lucidity I remember specifically reading:

"I dont think this is going to work out. We're just not the same people. We're not on the same level. I dont know how else to say this."

HAHAHAHAHAHA. CRACKED.MYSELF.UP! I hope my landlady didnt hear my screams of laughter. These dreams I like. You wake up in side stitches from rolling on the floor laughing. It was just really cute. Im not laughing at the guy, honestly, he's a great guy but Im laughing at my subconscience coming to such a decision on his behalf. I mean how or why my inner being thought of this is truly beyond me. Can subconsciences talk to other subconsciences? Could it be that my subconscience visited him and invaded his thoughts? Of course I dont know if my inner subconscience embellished or not but the dream was cute nonetheless.

But thinking about it more I wonder, how much of how we really feel is relayed in our dreams? We cant control what we dream about so in essence maybe we should look for clues in them to unlock the mystery behind what we're afraid to admit to during our awake hours? But then one can argue it would be different if he had the dream in which he emailed me the rejection letter. That would signify that he was afraid to admit it. But because I had the dream, could it mean that Im insecure and reluctant to follow through forcing a guy to have to email me a rejection letter in his own blood?! :P Yeah right. Pshh.. (yikes)

Someone asked me recently if I was talking to anyone or if I was considering anyone and I could not with a straight face come up with an answer. I cant stand talking to anyone and thats the God's honest truth. Dont come at me with slick talk, sly, coy, I-think-I-dig you attitude. Its all been done before and it all fades.

I think at this point I can honestly say the one I marry I will marry in blind faith. BLIND-FOLDED FAITH. Guys are all the same. Out of all rishtas in the past it all starts the same and ends the same.

Don't bother talking to the cashier, apply with the manager, aka the Rents. They're the ones who will hire you if you're worthy. Apparently, I just work here. :D

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Family vs. Individual

"Do you spend time with your family? Good. Because a man that doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man." - Don Corleone, The Godfather

He's right. Family is paramount. But sometimes family has nothing to do with how a person turned out. Early this morning it dawned on me how twisted desi mentality can be at times. Everything in desi culture, specifically Pakistani and Indian, revolves around the family. The family. The family contains honor, traditions, values, lessons, learnings and beliefs. But, is family really everything?

Let's see, I agree to some extent a man's family can say a lot about his nature, but is it alawys a fool-proof, tried and true, surefire example of his ideals, morals and inner thoughts? How much can you blame family for a son's hurtful mannerisms?

Being raised Muslim, under a religion which puts all of the power of decision and actions on our own person, is it easy enough to judge a man by his family? On the Day of Judgement it has been stated that no one's mother or father will come to aide. Its every man for himself.

So why are we as a society still caring so much about family? Is this the reason why desi men never see themselves as being responsible for anything? They dont see themselves as ever having done wrong, its just enough that they come from a good family background and ergo either cannot do wrong, will not do wrong, or there's been a mistake -- check your witnesses, it might not have been a red shirt and blue jeans the perp was wearing at EXACTLY 5 o'clock in the afternoon the day of the robbery.

The fact that a man's father, mother, brother, sister and cousin are doctors doesnt necessarily mean that he should by default be treated like one, deserve the same respect as one, or even get the same pay as one without ever having stepped into a medical class at all?

How much of our culture blames families for bad behavior? If you have two sons that come from the same family, raised in the same time period, one good, one evil, who is to blame there?

When applying to a job, is it ever enough to say that you went to a good school for your education? At some point, a transcript still needs to be furnished to determine whether or not anything was learned.

What about a person's core being? What about their nature? What about their trials and tribulations that possibly might have shaped an orphan into a bigger, better man? Environment does have a big role to play, but in the end it all boils down to how a person faired in that environment and whether they came out on top.

The argument can go either way. What if you have before you two scenarios:

A.) Spoiled brat of a boy grows up to be a man, eventually, after having committed several heinous acts of violence, always being into things, just your all-around average no good guy. He comes from a top notch family. Its happened before, it'll happen again. The guy will eventually clean himself up... someday and you hope he'll part forever with his ways.

B.) Honest to goodness low class man comes up from a hardknock life, gets through school working three jobs while raising himself and his three younger siblings, two who arent even his blood siblings, after his mother ran off to join the circus after not having been able to take it when her husband, who otherwise from a respectable family ran off with the maid. Finally graduates. Works in a top notch firm.

Who would you choose and why? On the one hand, B's had a terrible upbringing but yet somehow has managed to make the most of the situation while A's had it great all his life yet he's nothing but a free-loader who just got lucky.

OK so most cases in real life arent this slap-you-in-the-face obvious, but we need to stop riding high on our family's laurels. Its high time we stood our own ground and were noted for it. Dont you think?

Moreover, family history seems to be more applicable to a girl's nature than a guys nature if you ask me. Guys must venture out, be something on their own, stand on their own and be responsible in creating their own family from scratch. Girls, on the other hand, bring with them values passed down from their families because most girls generally live in the HOME ENVIRONMENT longer. But guys dont really spend much time indoors, in homes, or even in the same country for that matter. For a girl, home environment is like marination -- everything sinks in all the way through. For a guy, family is more like an egg wash, something superficial that just keeps meat from sticking to the bottom of the pan.

So where does whether or not he comes from a good family play such a huge factor?

Friday, July 06, 2007

HOW?????

How the hell am I hormonal?! This is why I went on meds in the first place! WHY!? Seriously, I shouldnt be flip floppy with moods and I shouldnt be achy all over. What gives?!

Maybe it is the weather and season change. Ohhhh thats right. See, to me summer starts when kids get out of school. When kids are out, its summer regardless if its before or after June 21st or not. So I completely forgot that technically the seasons did change recently.

Now it all makes sense.

I still hate being hormonal though. Atleast Im not feeling bloated, thank God!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Did You Know...?

A) Four jobs I have had in my life

1. TCBY Yogurt Specialist
2. Account Manager - Madison Marketing
3. Film Librarian
4. Sales Associate - Things Remembered


B) 4 movies you watched over and over again

1. Enough
2. Red Eye
3 Wedding Planner
4. Harry Potter Prizoner of Azkaban


C) Four places you have lived:

1. Chicago, IL
2. Hallwood, VA
3. Hagerstown, MD
4. Salisbury, MD


D) Four TV shows you love to watch:

1. According to Jim
2. Everybody Loves Raymond
3. Law & Order: SVU
4. Cold Case

F) Websites you visit daily: (or semi-weekly)

1. Dictionary.com
2. Gmail.com
3. Farahsworld.blogspot.com
4. youtube.com


G) Favorite Foods

1. Chicken
2. Aloo Gobi
3. Eggplant
4. Anything with icing

H) Four places I would rather be right now:

1. In a high-rise apartment that doesnt have centipedes
2. Mecca
3. Home, circa 1995
4. Greece

Monday, July 02, 2007

Sicko

Friday night my friends and I went to see the movie Sicko. Michael Moore I think is brilliant in making documentaries. He depicts the healthcare industry as this conglomerate tyrant that steals from the poor and sick to make money for the rich. Correction: to make MORE money for the rich.

Its disgusting to think that third world countries have it better than US, are happier than US, live longer than US, and we are the ones with all the brains and power. All for what?

Healthcare in this country is in need of major reform. I agree with everything that Michael Moore put forth in his movie, but there's always more to it that meets the eye.

I agree he's shedding light on the situation and in doing so trying to make it entertaining as well --- otherwise who would watch it? But, he leaves some stuff out. Some things are fudged a bit. But thats ok its all in the sake of recognition. Atleast now we are recognizing that a problem indeed exists.

First things first of what he left out: Where do you think all that money comes from the countries with socialized medicine? Taxpayers. US citizens lose patience, hair and sleep over paying for what we pay for now in terms of taxes, theyre drowning in taxes overseas.

Second is the issue of malpractice. Here in the US everything is someone's fault. EVERYTHING. Good smaritans who come upon an accident can be sued for helping out if something goes wrong... GOOOD SAMARITANS!!! There everybody helps out. No one complains, much. There is no malpractice. IF there was then physicians would have to pay money to protect themselves and therefore need to jack up their charges.

Third, all those countries are sooooo super small with less population than we have. We have a lot of illegal immigrants living here who are using our resources and not paying taxes. Its hard for us to establish a system that rivals the other countries. It just wouldnt work here.

I liked watching the movie. It brought to light a terrible terrible situation. Yes, we need healthcare reform. Yes, Id love to move to Canada. HAHAHA.

Options Lead to Drama


Im a magnet for drama. No, really. Saturday afternoon Im getting my haircut and the Israeli stylist asks, "Do you want your hair angeled to the front? It was supposed to be a simple question deserving of a simple answer: yes or no. Simple for anyone who is not me. I had to ask my options.

I really believe our society today will hang itself on all the options that we have. People back in the day had less options. They had less to think about, less to ponder, and less to stress about. A good decision versus a bad decision still meant waying out all the options and discussing pros and cons but back then it was as if some decisions were made based on opting for the lesser of two evils.

Today, decisions take time. There are too many options. Too many choices. Pros and cons are equally long in length. We waste time going through all the options and never actually get to the actual decision.

Ok you know whats really sad? By the time you finish your lists and ask everyone their opinion, research all the facts between A and B and conclude that A is virtually no different than B but you choose A only to come to find that the time for A has expired and you have no choice but to "settle" for B. Then we get all huffy and say life isnt fair and we're not making wrong choices but rather we dont have any options.

How many chances do we get? How many options do we really have? One can argue options are only a diversion to what is really infront of you. Options are distractions that we use purposely to not come to a decision in a timely manner. When we really truly want something we know what, how, when, where, and why already.

Allah (swt) already knows the choices we will make, but could it be that we ultimately know, too? Could it be that we are "sabotaging" ourselves with our options because we're not ready to settle for the truth yet?

The stylist had a huge rock on her finger that was waving infront of me like money to a homeless person while she was cutting the front part of my head. I asked her when she was getting married, how she met the guy etc etc. She told me that she'd known him for about 15 years and apparently just thought of him as a brother type, never quite forcing herself to see him as anything but. When she did, it was instantaneous chemistry. They're getting married in August in Israel.

Options. Distractions. Barriers to whats out there that disable us to see what's really infront of our face.

Have you ever asked a married couple how they met? 9 times out of 10 it was through someone else. Wrong place, right time. They were the wing man to their buddy who ended up dating the girl. Best friends. Next door neighbors. Kindergarten sweethearts until he got cooties. Whatever the scenario, there's always SOMETHING in the way.

My favorite story: meeting at a wedding. Guy and girl both scoping out the scene. Find nobody. Get married a year later and realize, "Hey! You were at that wedding, too??"

Options. Distractions. Barriers to whats out there that disable us to see what's really infront of our face.

He's too weird. She's got a beard. He's a fob. She's got a job. He's too tall. She's too small. He's Hyderabadi. She looks like his dadi.

Me: What is the alternative to having my hair angeled to the front?
Israeli stylist: Well, they would just be blunt. I think the angeled front adds something more to the cut, its more dramatic. Sometimes its better to have...
Me: drama? What part of my single life speaks "needs-more-drama" to you? I'd like to know because if so, that part and I need to have a longggg talk.

We laughed but she's right. Drama is like the spice of life, an additive feature, like sesame seeds you sprinkle on top of a boring salad to give it a little kick and make it more palatable. Eventually, you will realize its still just a salad and realize all the extras are not necessary.

When the fog clears so will your mind. Meanwhile, Im enjoying my new haircut thats angeled to the front. :D