Goodbye April

63 posts in a month (the most ever in a month) -- April has been good to me but it is time for us to part. I shall always remember -- but should I forget -- this blog will serve as a constant reminder of all the good times of 4/2007.

Rest In Peace

April

4/1/2007 - 4/30/2007

Inna lillahi wa inna ilahi raji'un

It's Whats Inside...Your Wallet!

Never Too Much

Khizzle Dizzle: ok..i'ts official. i go to your blog too much
Farah: hahha
Khizzle Dizzle: I just loaded a new window
Khizzle Dizzle: and i was supposed to go to a site for work and i started typing in "farahsworld"
before realizing my mistake
Farah: HAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH thats awesome
Khizzle Dizzle: no it's not! but it does remind me of a line I read in Reader's Digest
Farah: oh no
Khizzle Dizzle: "A Freudian Slip is when you say one thing and mean your mother"
Farah: hahahaha gotta love Freud

(...and now we know who's reading Reader's Digest!)

I've been tracking the hits this site gets and Im honored.

To all who read and comment, I love ya!!! To all who just read: GET OVER YOU FEAR and comment already!!! :)

Umbrella - Rihanna feat. Jay-Z

You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

[CHORUS]

When the sun shines
We'll shine Together
Told you i'll be here Forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath I'm a stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more then ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella
(Ella ella ella eh)
Under my umbrella (ella ella ella eh)

[VERSE 2]

These fancy things,
Will never come in between
You're part of my entity, Here for infiniti
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is Hard, Together we'll mend your heart
Because

[CHORUS]

When the sun Shines
We'll shine Together
Told you i'll be here Forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath I'm a stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more then ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella ella eh)
Under my umbrella (ella ella ella eh)

Detours, Slurpees, and the Weekend

I should probably make it a habit to start blogging on Sundays because otherwise Monday morning posts are overwhelming -- thank God its not my needle day, but I am the backup so I might have to keep being interrupted -- I know, Im bad. Im not supposed to consider work as an interruption.

Friday - Friday was really nice. I went to Penn area with two friends in search of an Islamic bookstore. I got to pray at Jamia Masjid -- I'd heard about it but never had the opportunity -- and then went to Makkah Market for dinner and lots of good reads. I bought a book on dream interpretation, one on great women in Islam, and my favorite, the Qur'an in Roman text transliteration!!!!! Super excited about that.

Saturday - Asiya's going away dinner, again near Penn area, was pretty nice and laid back casual -- love dinners in the city that are slow and intimate. There this one Uncle Jee dude kept staring me up and down... not your usual stare and qucikly glance away when you notice, but a steady stare that made me uncomfortable enough to look away myself.
He finally spoke to me.

Uncle Jee Dude: Are you from Pakistan or India?

Now, Im a bit flabbergasted because very rarely do people ever guess IndoPak origin for my background.

Me: Pakistan.
UJD: You're from Lahore right?
Me: Yes.
UJD: I knew you were from Punjab but I couldnt tell if you were from this side (india) or that side (pakistan).
Me (even more curious): How did you know?
UJD: Do you speak Punjabi?
Me: Yes.
UJD (in punjabi): Punjabis are a recognizable lot!

I had to laugh. He's right you know; you can always tell punjabis apart from the rest. It's like Jews and gentiles, if you will. LOL

Sunday - beautiful day. Perfect for walking six miles. The Art Museum area is gorgeous!!! I didnt think there could be so much grass in Philly all in one area. Anyway, for those who helped me reach my goal and collect $238, thank you for my sweatshirt and t-shirt! :)

I came back from the walk with plans to go out later on in the night but got sidetracked with sleep. I went to Home Depot and got a 12 setting massage/power spray showerhead. Absolutely amazing! Of course I had to try out every single setting which made me come out of the shower all prun-y and wrinkled. I fell fast asleep after that.. wet hair and all.

I woke up a few hours later with an indescribable craving for a slurpee, a 7 11 slurpee. Around 9pm I leave my apartment with the thought in mind and brain freeze from anticipation of the sweet, icy concoction. I had just burned an awesome dance cd too and being nighttime I somewhat lost my inhibition and let myself dance dance dance in my car down this one rather deserted stretch of street. Almost deserted. I soon noticed a white Mercedes pull up next to me at the stop light with the driver craning his neck to get a better view.

A veteran at this "game", I proceed normal, no more dancing -- damn him! -- and picking up speed at every passing light in hopes of shaking him from my side. No such luck. I pass a 7 11 but I keep on afraid of getting out and this guy approaching me... not because Im afraid of him physically per se but because I was wearing a t-shirt and pjs and had complete bedhair that had seemed to dry in waves on my pillow. I keep going, through a detour, getting lost and eventually falling back so that I was behind him instead of side by side. All for a slurpee?

Now Im getting pissed but he eventually veers off to the right and I proceed straight, happy, at being rid of him. Now Im in some ghetto area near a train station with people out front just ... standing. (I dont get people sometimes... what are they waiting for??? I know its not the train.)

I choose the worst moment, the particular moment of being surrounded by ghettoness, to throw my music back on, which causes everyone around me to jump back. It wasnt that loud.. although I did notice a few trees bouncing up and down....

So, I dont know where I am... until I see a sign for the Betsy Ross bridge. Hmm.. Ive never taken that before. Im already lost, whats the harm? I take it which leads me straight into Jersey. This whole time I have no phone, mind you, but I dont panick because I have a full tank of gas and as long as I stay on the main hwys, I should be fine.

Once I cross into Jersey Im automatically on this never-ending freeway. I veer off the first exit I can actually take, remember Jersey doesnt allow left turns so its not like I can just make a u-turn. I finally find a 7 11 and there mother-freakkin machine is down. If looks could kill, the guy who took it down woulda died... twice. Thank God it wasnt a desi owned 7 11, by the way because in a black tshirt, grey pjs and hair that looked like spiders had a webb-spinning contest in it I looked like death taking a stroll from a tomb on a mission to suck the living life of a Super Gulp slurpee.

FINE!.. kanjoos bekari logh!.. I'll just go get a drink from the refrigerator. I ended up getting a purple fizz whizz something or other.

I didnt make it back home until after 11p. 2 hours wasted all for nothing.

It was a really nice weekend all in all.

PS. To the one friend who thinks they can call me and get a sneak peak at my blog posts... FORGET IT! Next time, you're on your own pal! :)

Single - Author Unknown

What makes you think that just because I am an
Attractive woman of Godly intelligence
That I'm incomplete without a mate?

Who told you that
Without a man
Something's missing
From my life?

And if so,
What would that be?

Love?

I love myself
And more importantly
I love the Lord
He told me that when I delight in Him,
He will give me the desires of my heart

Security?
I have everything I need according to His riches in glory.

Intimacy?
Now, how's a man going to get to know me
When he doesn't even know who he is in the Lord
See my Dad told me I'm above a ruby's worth
And a gem does not seek
It is sought

I'm single and that's all right with me
See, it's not that I oppose relationships
It's that I detest co-dependency
As a woman
I know it is not my role
To chase after any man

That I am to wait on my Lord and when he's delighted in me.
He will call me by my name.
My Lord does not intend for me to be needy or desperate.
I am to be Cherished, Relished, Valued, and Honored,
It's not my job to convince him
Or Convict him of that,
My mate will already know it
And consistently show it
And he will stay on his knees daily
Not just to adore me
But to praise the Lord for
The virtuous woman he has found

So, when you see me by myself
I'm not alone
I know what I have coming to me.

Silly Note

My blog is like a mut at an animal shelter. It gets love, but no one takes it home.

I've got a mix of religious ideology, rabid rants, and wicked humor. I've hit my quota for the religious aspect, and now Im about to turn up the volume on funny.

Ok. By now you all know Im obviously very single. Looking, but single. Thats very much different from "Single and Looking". See, the latter implies desperation, while the former implies ... implies... hmm.. what's the word? ... contentment? I'm looking but choosing to remain single for now... or until the absolute perfect, eye-poppin, jaw-droppin, heart -stoppin' specimen arrives across my microscope stage begging to be given a thorough look.

WHOAH -- search and retrieval of your mind in procession -- bring it back! bring it back!

I meant thorough examination in terms of the inside, the core, the personality... etc. (tough crowd!)

But desperation is not in my cards, yet. I aint going out like that! I am so proud of myself for being out and about/busy this whole week!

Monday -- I was shopping for detachable showerheads (no thats not a joke-- its zabiha intention wallahi) with a very very very awesome, super sexxxy, fashionista friend in South Philly. Lingonberry, anyone?

Tuesday -- I was visiting a sick friend, who thankfully is doing much better. I will visit her today iA with Laur.

Wednesday -- Sam and I made aloo gobi. :P

Thursday -- Halaqa

Today - Im hanging out with friends after work at a restaurant of some sort of nationality (Turkish?) up near Penn iA.

Saturday --- get this. There are these "matrimonial" events held by a masjid and basically, its unwed guys and girls being given a chance to talk... speed talk.. and possibly get something going. Trust me, its halal but it serves as nothing but entertainment for my friends and I.

I got suckered into saying yes last night by none other than star-gazer extraordinaire fashionista herself. Everyone was like yeah... you should come too Farah!!!

Me: Wait, I think Im busy. Aren't we ---
Fashionista: No, we're not. You're not busy!

Well, damn! My alibi ratted me out! I felt like that "I-think-I-hear-my-mom-calling-me" kid. (its all good though. she made the most awesomest brownies EVER!!!!!)

So I'm still deciding but if I do go I will most definitely blog about it later.

My life is busy right now. Coming to Philly has definitely turned out to be every bit worth it and iA I know it will prove to be the key to unlocking countless blessings iA... but its neat because right now.. Im content with finding myself.. and building friendships that I didnt have an option for before. But Im certainly not making my decision to marry one purely out of desperation. Screw that! Im having wayyy too much fun!

Right now, all I gotz ta say is someone better jump on the chance now before my "I do"... needa man.. becomes an "I don't" anymore!

My First Halaqa

I went to my first halaqa last night. I was really excited and anxious. I didnt go to a college with a huge Muslim population, so I basically missed out on the MSA experience, hence I'd never been to one before.

There were two main topics: Prophet Nuh (saw) and Dajjal.

There's a lot that is not known about earlier Prophets' (peace be upon all of them) lives, but we do know that they had very long lives. Out of the 124,000 Prophets sent down to Earth, the Qur'an accounts for around 25 by name and story. If you think about it, it makes you wonder what happened to the rest. I found out that it is okay to look to the Gospel for an account of the earlier Prophets but always bearing in mind that that word has been changed and may not be open for literal translation.

Prophet Nuh (saw) is noted for being one of the most patient of Prophets of all. He lived for over 900 years and preached Islam steadfastly, but in the end only a handful of believers joined him on his Ark. Roughly between 72-80. He endured endless mockery of the people of his time. He was sent to unify everyone under Islam, but at that time there was a great divide between wealthy and educated versus poor and illiterate classes. The powerful wealthy class did not want to be included in the same religion as the lower class, yet, Prophet Nuh (saw) could not leave them out.

There are two Prophets known who had non-believing wives: Prophet Nuh (saw) and Prophet Lut (saw). Prophet Nuh (saw) was promised that his family would be saved from Allah's wrath intended for disbelievers. In the end, his son, who was a non-believer in disguise for his father's sake only, parished. Prophet Nuh (saw) asked why he was not saved since he was from his family. Allah (swt) replied that his son was a non-believer and therefore was not of Prophet Nuh's (saw) family.

Prophet Nuh (saw) said: "0 my Lord! I seek refuge with You from asking You that of which I have no knowledge. And unless You forgive me and have Mercy on me, I would indeed be one of the losers." Surah 11: 45-47

This is a very good dua to recite. These two verses mentioned above. :)

The Dajjal is a very interesting topic, a bit scary as well. Dajjal is the Anti-Christ.

In a lengthy Hadith narrated by Abu Saeed (R.A.), Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) is reported to have said: "Dajjal will come but it will be prohibited and impossible for him to enter Madina. He will set up camp in a barren land outside Madina. One person who will be the best of persons will confront him by saying: "I bear witness that you are the very Dajjal about whom Rasulullah (Salallahu Alayhi Wasallam) has informed us."

Dajjal will say to his followers, "If I kill this person and then revive him, you people will still doubt me?"

They will reply, "No."

He will then kill this person, (according to another narration he will split this person in two) and thereafter revive him. This person will say, "I am totally convinced more than ever before that you definitely are Dajjal."

Dajjal will attempt to kill this person again but his efforts will now be in vain. (According to a hadith, after this incident, Dajjal will not be able to harm anyone.)

Interesting Facts/Signs
He will emerge between Shaam and Iraq, and his emergence will become known when he is in Isfahaan at a place called Yahudea.

When Prophet Isa (saw) descends onto the Earth, iA, he will be in time for Fajr but the Iqamah will have been read already. Imam Mahdi will ask Prophet Isa (saw) to lead and he will say --No, the Iqamah has been said for you-- and he will pray behind Imam Mahdi. This will be the first time a Prophet (saw) will pray behind someone.

The Yahudis (Jews) of Isfahaan will be his main followers. Apart from having mainly Yahudi followers, he will have a great number of women followers as well.

He will have with him fire and water, but in reality the fire will be cold water while that what appears to be cold water will in reality be a blazing fire. Those who obey him will enter "his Jannat" while those who disobey him will enter "his Jahannam."

There will be a thick fingernail-like object in his left eye.

The letters "Kaa" "Faa" "Raa" will appear on his forehead and will be deciphered by all Mu'mineen regardless of them being literate or not.

He will have a wheatish complexion. He will travel at great speeds and his means of conveyance will be a gigantic mule. It is said that he will play beautiful music which will attract the music lovers.

Dajjal will lay claim to prophethood. He will then lay claim to Divinity. He will perform unusual feats. He will travel the entire world. He will send down rains upon those who believe in him, which in turn will cause good crops to grow, trees to bear fruit and cattle to grow fat.

He will cause drought to those who disbelieve in him, resulting in starvation and hardship for them. During those trying times the Mu'mineen will satiate their hunger through the recitation of Subhanallah and La'ilaha Ilallahu.

The hidden treasures will spill forth at his command. He will stay on this Earth for a period of forty days; the length of the first day will be one year, the second day will be equal to one month, the third day will be equal to a week and the remaining days will be normal.

He will be unable to enter Makkah because the Malaikah will be guarding the Holy City and nor will he be able to enter Madina because there will be Malaikah guarding each of the seven entrances to Madina; From Madina he will proceed towards Shaam where Imaam Mahdi will be stationed.

Finally Isa (A.S.) will descend from the heavens and pursue him and eventually kill him at present day Lydda (Baad Lud).

I learned interesting facts about Prophet Idrees (saw). I have a nephew named Idrees and this was fascinating to me.

Prophet Idrees (saw) was very religious. When the Angel of Death came for his soul he was in the 3rd of 4th Heaven already. When Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) ascended, he met Prophet Idrees (saw).

Ok so all in all I had a wonderful time. It helps having great friends, mA!!!! Wait -- great friends who loveee your aloo gobi and tell you your hair is so SNIFFABLE! :)

Theres a feeling of excitement that comes over you when you hear about the Last days and the fabulous battles that will take place. Prophet Isa (saw) fighting Dajjal. Its going to be a chaotic time, but the neat thing is that in the end justice will iA prevail and there will be peace on Earth.

We get so caught up in our day to day everyday that it doesnt faze us but when we look at our lives and realize the void we feel is Islam.

There's so much knowledge out there, so much to read. So much to learn. It is said that reading about the lives of the Prophets is not just for passing time, but to have active discussions and heed the lessons that they lived iA.

I cant imagine what it must have been like to live back in that time, to have all that knowledge, in its original form, right at your fingertips. We have to rely on books now, but back in the Prophet's time (saw) people would go to visit him and he would give them advice.

Its scary when you realize just how impressionable people are because its like even the good and strong sometiems succumb to pressures and it scares you to say anything that you cannot 100% backup, because if its not the exact truth in its originality you could potentially disrupt historical fact. Its best to leave it by saying, Allahu Alim, Allah (swt) knows best. :)

I plan on hosting the next halaqa at my place iA. Im searching for interesting topics right now. I am going to talk about Prophet Lut (saw) because I know that came up in our discussion and I want to know more. I also want to discuss the article I read on the position of women in Islam as well. It's imperative for us to know what our rights are in order to know where we stand in society.

If you have any suggestions, let me know. :)

Prophet Muhammad's (saw) Last Sermon

This sermon was delivered on the Ninth Day of Dhul-Hijjah, 10 A.H. (632 CE) in the 'Uranah valley of Mount Arafat in Makkah. It was the occasion of the annual rites of Hajj (the pilgrimage). It is also known as the Farewell Pilgrimage.

After praising, and thanking Allah (The One True God) the Prophet began with the words:

"O People! lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore, listen carefully to what I am saying and Take These Words to Those Who Could Not Be Present Here Today.

“O People! just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your LORD, and that he will indeed reckon your deeds.

“Allah has forbidden you to take usury (interest), therefore all interest obligations shall henceforth be waived. Your capital is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer any inequity. Allah has Judged that there shall be no interest and that all the interest due to Abbas ibn 'Abd al-Muttalib (Prophet's uncle) be waived.

“Every right arising out of homicide in pre-Islamic days is henceforth waived and the first such right that I waive is that arising from the murder of Rabiah ibn al-Harithiah.

“O Men! the unbelievers indulge in tampering with the calender in order to make permissible that which Allah forbade, and to prohibit which Allah has made permissible. With Allah the months are twelve in number. Four of them are holy, three of these are successive and one occurs singly between the months of Jumada and Shaban.

“Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope of that he will be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things.

“O People! it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste.

“O People! listen to me in earnest, worship Allah, say your five daily prayers, fast during month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in Zakat (obligatory charity). Perform Hajj if you can afford to.

“All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly.

“Do not therefore do injustice to yourselves. Remember one day you will meet Allah and answer your deeds. So beware, do not astray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.

“O People! No Prophet or Apostle Will Come after Me and No New Faith Will Be Born. Reason well, therefore, O People! and understand words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the QUR’AN and my SUNNAH (i.e., sayings, deeds, and approvals) and if you follow these you will never go astray.

“All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly.

“Be my witness O Allah, that I have conveyed your message to your people."

As part of this sermon, the Prophet recited them a Revelation from Allah which he had just received and which completed the Qur’an, for it was the last passage to be revealed:

This day the disbelievers despair of prevailing against your religion, so fear them not, but fear Me (Allah)! This day have I perfected for you your religion and fulfilled My favor unto you, and it hath been My good pleasure to choose Islam for you as your religion (Surah 5, Ayah 3).
The sermon was repeated sentence by sentence by Safwan's brother Rabiah (RA), who had a powerful voice, at the request of the Prophet and he faithfully proclaimed to over ten thousand gathered on the occasion.

Toward the end of his sermon, the Prophet asked “O people, have I faithfully delivered unto you my message?" A powerful murmur of assent “O Allah, yes!", arose from thousands of pilgrims and the vibrant words “Allahumma na’m” rolled like thunder throughout the valley.

The Prophet raised his forefinger and said: “Be my witness O Allah, that I have conveyed your message to your people."

National "SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY" Day - 2007

I Think Therefore 'I Do' vs I Think Before 'I Do'

I looked online for the best questions to ask before getting married. Most of the sites concentrated on what you should ask your potentional mate. I like this website the most because it made the questions about us rather than a 'them'.

1) Ask yourself why you want to get married.

My answers: Because my parents are threatening to disown me if I dont? Because Im tired of being a charity case for middle-aged rotten Aunties who don't quite understand the phrase, "Im single by choice"? Because I live alone? Because I need someone to kill bugs, take out the trash and bring in groceries? Because everyone else is doing it, sometimes two or three times over? Because I cant help feeling like Im missing something when I come home to an empty apartment? Because I need someone to watch my bag when I'm trying stuff on in deapartment store fitting rooms? Because I'm tired of being jealous of everyone's left-hand ring finger bling? Because Im tired of being somewhat matched to everyone and being perfectly matched to no one? Because I want someone to cook for? Because I'd like to be able to talk to a guy, hold hands, go out to dinner and a movie and not have it hit the 6 o'clock news? Because now I realize its not all about me?

Author: There is always reason other than love that one would want to get married. You have to be open to yourself and to your partner about the real reason why you may want to take the plunge. Some people feel that it is their duty. Some people feel that it is just right for them. Others feel that they would like to start the family chapter in their life. What is it that is pushing you to feel like you really want to get married?

2) What do you love about your mate? Are things going to get annoying in time?

My answers: Like him chewing with his mouth open? Like him not putting the toilet seat down? Like him not realizing there is a difference between hand towels, dish towels and bath towels? Like him being Indian? Like him being a school teacher? Like him being a Cowboys' fan? Like him telling you you're pretty all the time? Like him crying during sad movies? Like him snoring? Like him not being religious or too religious? Like him driving a Maxima? Like him having a gap between his two front teeth? Like him being OCD or ADD? Like him being a perfectionist? Like him being a jerk sometimes?

Author: If they changed 'these things' that you love about them would you're love for them change as well. These are all good related questions that you will need to know answers about. You need to ask yourself such questions because you need to know if your love is conditional or unconditional. If it is conditional, you will know right away when you begin to think about it. Unconditional means things can change. The world can change, but nothing will ever change the way that you feel about the person. If change does exist, it is because you have fallen more in love them than you ever could image.

3) What are the things that you truly hate about the person?

Author: There are to be a few things that you hate about the person. Things that truly grate on your last nerve, however, if you can accept all of their faults to still want to get married, and then you really do love unconditionally.

4) The saying, "I love you, but I don't have to like you."

My answer: I've said this to almost all family members at one point or another, but don't awww anything just yet: they've told me the same plenty of times!

I agree with this statement. There are times when husband and wife will fight, thats inevitable. However, these fights should not ever change the fact that love exists between you two like glue to keep the bond. And love doesnt have to be purely an emotional, euphoric state of mind: it can be children, its respect, its admiration, its friendship. Its not really what two people feel for each but more so what they are to each other. :)

Author: Is there anything in the world that this person could do to make you love them any less. Things other than the obvious like cheating, lying, deceiving, and such. If there are things that are not the unacceptable behavior by most social standards, you may want to rethink the marriage, but you may still eventually be able to say, "yes," to marriage.

5) Are you ready to be a wife/husband? Have you two discussed your role in the marriage?

My answer: Am I ready to be a wife? This is tricky because I suppose I dont know what its truly like until I already am one. And by then its a tad too late. I agree people need to voice their concerns and expectations and stick to them to some degree. Be flexible, but also realize that if your personality will not allow you to let your wife work outside the home, then say so. Ladies -- if he says he wants a stay-at-home-wife, then either accept it, or move on. Don't automatically assume he will make exceptions later on for you.

Author: Some people will find that they jumped too quickly into marriage and then they ended up not realizing what that intended. You should tell your mate what you expect from them as your married partner. You need to have this conversation so that married life does not end up being a shock to you.

6) Ask yourself if this is something that you can make a commitment to. Is this something that you would be able to keep going for the rest of your life?

My answer mimicks the author's.

Author: Remember, saying "I Do," means more than just right now. It is a life changing experience. It is something that you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life. Divorce does not mean anything. It just means that you legally are not obligated to see the person anymore, but then there are the holidays and special occasions. You do not have to think that you can feel okay with marriage, because if it does not work out because of divorce you should want to get married because you want to spend the rest of your life sharing it with someone special.

7) How do you feel right now? Do you feel right now, like this is right?

Author: Let your heart, guide, but allow your brain to think things through. You will want to make sure that you feel right about the choice and that you can live with this.

http://www.submityourarticle.com/articles/Cucan-Pemo-1732/marriage-14047.php

It's not always going to be a fairytale, dream come true, happily ever after ideal situation, but you learn to give and take, compromise, share ideas and desires regardless of if you feel they will make you look like an idiot, and have mutual respect for each other.

I'm ready. I know it because Ive never been ready before and this time it's different. I dont want to wait. I dont want to 'get back to you' when I have a better answer for my preoccupation. I dont want to duck and dodge rishta Aunties.

I dont want to be single anymore.

I leave this post with Rob Thomas's words...

I dont want to be lonely no more

I dont want to have to pay for this

I dont want another lover at my door

Its just another heartache on my list.

I dont wanna be angry no more

You know I could never stand for this

So when you tell me that you love me, know for sure

I dont wanna be lonely anymore.

Cautiously Optimistic

Yesterday was surgery day for our friend from work. Our worst fears were realized and it turned out that she did end up with a carcinomatous mass.

I hate to internalize everything but I was really angry yesterday, and sad. I kept thinking that through some miracle everything will turn out to be benign. Up until her surgery skies were sunny and hope still had a chance. Afterwards, the weather took a sudden change for the worst and it was rainy and cold. It was as if the Heavens were crying, "Yes, we sympathize, but you'll get over it."

I realize when our prayers are "ignored" we rarely hold ourselves responsible, at first. We lash out at the world and try and make sense of the nonsensical. On my way home I remember wondering out loud why does it seem like the good get punished at every turn? I guess I felt like the dx was a slap in the face because I wanted so hard to believe that Allah (swt) would show this woman, steadfast in her religion and praise for Him even though having been through medical anomalies against all odds, mercy.

Or maybe I just thought Allah (swt) would listen to my pleas and grant my dua for the mother of two, who first and foremost is a woman.

Anyway, it was rough. I held everyone responsible: her imbecile doctor, her nosy-body husband, the driver on 95 trying to cut infront of my car.

Ok so I have anger management issues. I came home desperately needing to scrub, soak, rinse, and/or dust something, and for once my apartment was in pristine condition. I had to settle for making aloo gobi in the presence of company instead. According to her, it turned out really well. I made it slightly different than I did last time. Actually, its funny because I made it more the way it's supposed to be, with the stalk, more potatoes, less curry. And I didnt like it. I taste-tested it. And it tasted like Ma's. I mean dont get me wrong, Ma's is the way it is supposed to be, but I never used to like that... gobi texture/flavor. And this is totally gobi-ed out. Like, I remember last time thinking, Wow. I dont remember liking gobi this much before, and now I realize it was because Ma's never tasted like that. I was really proud of myself though for last time, because it meant that I took a recipe, made it my own, tweaked it a bit and had it taste really good to me (which is most important haha) and others! I shall make it like that next time.

Anyway, I didnt get to sleep til late, really late. I woke up late, really late. (Did I ever mention I used to always be ON TIME for everything and now it's a FOREIGN concept) I know its divine payback for me wanting all late-arrivers to parties to be forced into submission by electric shock therapy. (BUZZZZZZZ!!!)

This morning I walk into the office and I hear Laur say something about good news. She tells me that our friend's surgery went well and that the mass remained confined to the pelvic region and there are no signs of metastatic illness. She will need chemo, etc., but atleast now she has a good chance, a better chance, for recovery, iA.

...and just like that the world is bright, regardless of the clouds.

Allah's (swt) Miracles

In Our Lungs

In A Honeycomb

In A Graph of Verses in Ayats in All 114 Surahs of Qur'an

A Picture Is Worth A Few Laughs -- Hey WAIT! That's MY Picture!

I admit. I was POSING. Trying to go for the bored and unenthused look. What I got was scared and confused. What's even funnier is what a friend had to say of my picture. I laughed til I nearly peed in my pants and then made a mental note to buy a voodoo doll in his name. (jk)

Here are a few captions for my photo according to him:

- Farah saw a million legged bug on her bed and forgot to breath [very much possible] I hate you... really. :)
- Farah sniffed someone's hair soaked in coconut oil [humm...kinky but considering your re crazy...its possible... in a train] I AM a nut for coconut!
- Dad found out your mumbaiya hinglish [most definately] He's going to kill me I know it.
- being asked to eat a mango during job interview [not-so-intuitive]

The last one is the BEST! Honestly, that's EXACTLY what I would look like if I were asked to do so.

You want me to what???? How is that in the job description!?

Sunni vs Shia

Q. What's the Difference Between Shia and Sunni Muslims?


A. Both Sunni and Shia Muslims share the most fundamental Islamic beliefs and articles of faith. The differences between these two main sub-groups within Islam initially stemmed not from spiritual differences, but political ones. Over the centuries, however, these political differences have spawned a number of varying practices and positions which have come to carry a spiritual significance.
The division between Shia and Sunni dates back to the death of the Prophet Muhammad, and the question of who was to take over the leadership of the Muslim nation. Sunni Muslims agree with the position taken by many of the Prophet's companions, that the new leader should be elected from among those capable of the job. This is what was done, and the Prophet Muhammad's close friend and advisor, Abu Bakr, became the first Caliph of the Islamic nation.

The word "Sunni" in Arabic comes from a word meaning "one who follows the traditions of the Prophet." On the other hand, some Muslims share the belief that leadership should have stayed within the Prophet's own family, among those specifically appointed by him, or among Imams appointed by God Himself.

The Shia Muslims believe that following the Prophet Muhammad's death, leadership should have passed directly to his cousin/son-in-law, Ali. Throughout history, Shia Muslims have not recognized the authority of elected Muslim leaders, choosing instead to follow a line of Imams which they believe have been appointed by the Prophet Muhammad or God Himself. The word "Shia" in Arabic means a group or supportive party of people. The commonly-known term is shortened from the historical "Shia-t-Ali," or "the Party of Ali." They are also known as followers of "Ahl-al-Bayt" or "People of the Household" (of the Prophet).

From this initial question of political leadership, some aspects of spiritual life have been affected and now differ between the two groups of Muslims.

Shia Muslims believe that the Imam is sinless by nature, and that his authority is infallible as it comes directly from God. Therefore, Shia Muslims often venerate the Imams as saints and perform pilgrimages to their tombs and shrines in the hopes of divine intercession. Sunni Muslims counter that there is no basis in Islam for a hereditary privileged class of spiritual leaders, and certainly no basis for the veneration or intercession of saints. Sunni Muslims contend that leadership of the community is not a birthright, but a trust that is earned and which may be given or taken away by the people themselves.

Shia Muslims also feel animosity towards some of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad, based on their positions and actions during the early years of discord about leadership in the community. Many of these companions (Abu Bakr, Umar, Aisha, etc.) have narrated traditions about the Prophet's life and spiritual practice. Shia Muslims reject these traditions (hadith) and do not base any of their religious practices on the testimony of these individuals. This naturally gives rise to some differences in religious practice between the two groups. These differences touch all detailed aspects of religious life: prayer, fasting, pilgrimage, etc.

Sunni Muslims make up the majority (85%) of Muslims all over the world. Significant populations of Shia Muslims can be found in Iran and Iraq, and large minority communities in Yemen, Bahrain, Syria, and Lebanon.

It is important to remember that despite all of these differences in opinion and practice, Shia and Sunni Muslims share the main articles of Islamic belief and are considered by most to be brethren in faith. In fact, most Muslims do not distinguish themselves by claiming membership in any particular group, but prefer to call themselves simply, "Muslims."

http://islam.about.com/cs/divisions/f/shia_sunni.htm

Things Are Not Always As They Seem

Check the rest of them out at http://www.mentalbay.com/opticalillusions/0/opticalillusions

Perspective vs Relatives

OK, OK, maybe I was being a tad childish yesterday. I hadnt had any sleep at all and of course not taking a break at all yesterday and not having eaten anything started to take its toll. I feel a lot better, Alhamdullilah.

My co-worker and I went home and visited one of our other co-workers who is sick. She is having surgery today, please make duaa for her that everything turns out well with her operation.

First of all, the lady lives right behind my apartment but this was the first time I was in her house. So busy are times these days that I'd never gotten the chance to go in, I had dropped her off a few times before, however.

There's something stuffy about a room with blue carpet and over-the-top-Christian-propaganda and inevitable doom that leaves one feeling a lot more uneasy than comfortable and not just because I'm Muslim. She had more pictures of a blue-eyed, blonde-haired, fair-skinned Prophet Isa (pbuh), than of her own children. They are devoutly Catholic and I felt like I couldnt breathe. There were flowers everywhere. I hate to say this, but ever since my moms triple bypass surgery, Ive come to dislike flowers. I know its not the flowers at fault and they can bring happy or sad moods, but its times like this I cant stand flowers. For her, the past week has been severely traumatic. She has to have a tumor removed and there is a possibility it could be cancerous. Ok, so Im not really saying what I already know because I'm holding out hope that it will be a false alarm and that she will be back to work soon after her 6 wks insa'Allah. Leave it for a time like this to put perspective into your own life: staying up all night crying for tomorrow because of bugs vs staying up all night crying wondering if there will be a tomorrow.

In other news, the bugs didnt come back last night. I was really thankful. My other co-worker really liked my apartment --- that made me feel good. We watched a movie then called it a night both being exhausted from our visit with Alice and her entire family, extended and all. I dont think I've ever heard so much Malayalam in my life. Of course I dont speak it, and no I wasnt going to insist on Hindi for my sake, actually I dont think they even speak Hindi as much. So the whole time I kept trying to focus on other things so as to keep me from crying: colors, shapes, lights, etc. At one point they all got quiet and looked at me and I ended up doing the classic ignorant "Oh, was that english? My turn?" face. Somber. I now know what it "looks" like.

Anyway, I drove in to work this morning with my co-worker. Surprisingly early, we stopped for coffee at the bottom of the building I had the best time of my life in: my campus apartment building. She's Indian and we have the neatest conversations, always. She was relaying to me what her expectations were of her childrens' spouses. She said in India, she used to say to them, "Catholic is a must." Here, she used to say to them, "Indian is a must." At one point saying, "Opposite gender is a must." Did you just choke on your coffee? Hahaha, I did, too when I heard her say this, but she's right to be concerned. Her son is married now and mA he has a wonderful wife who adores my co-worker's family as her own, and they are equally kind to her and so-not-Indian when it comes to her well-being and happiness. They're both very lucky: the parents and the girl.

Co-worker's surgery is today. The sucky part of the department I work in is that we will soon find out the outcome. I'm not sure I want to know.

Here... there's no blue-eyed Jesus, no gold-trimmed art-deco pieces, no white flowers, but the mood is the same...somber.

The Best Thing In the World...

So ever since I was a youngin' my parents have tried to instill in us Islamic ettiquette such as saying, "Alhamdullilah", "Bismillah" etc after we do certain things. My parents would always plead for us to act as Muslims do. Now I will admit, it hasnt always been automatic, but then again I didnt always live amongst Muslims as I do now, mA.

So today, on one of my biopsy procedures one of the nurses sneezed. My immediate response, "Alhamdullilah".

At last...I have arrived. :P

The BUG Is Back!

If I yelled obscenities, your ears would bleed from now until past forever.

I was sooo freakkkkkin pissed last night. I slept not ONE wink last night. Ive not eaten solid foods since God knows when! I'm cranky and Im tired and I wanna go home!

Wow...I DO sound like a 10 year old.

Here's a pic. Let's see how you like it!


Anyway, I had a lot of fun last night. I went shopping out in Center City and South Philly with my good friend: IKEA, Linens & Things, LOWES, and Chestnut Street shopping. Pretty cool except for the busride -- steppin' off smellin' like asss -- not cool. Next time? We take a cab or I drive.

Little White Lies

Definition:

lie -
1. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood.
2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture: His flashy car was a lie that deceived no one.
3. an inaccurate or false statement.
4. the charge or accusation of lying: He flung the lie back at his accusers. –verb (used without object)
5. to speak falsely or utter untruth knowingly, as with intent to deceive.
6. to express what is false; convey a false impression. –verb (used with object)

Why does the world have to be so complicated? The fact that word, lie, has 6 different meanings to me states that depending on how much you pay your lawyer, anything is believable, to some extent.

I had this conversation with a friend last night, a debate over the word, lie, if you will. He stated that there are two definitions, one which pertains to the spoken, and one which pertains to the unspoken. I agree to some extent: unspoken lies are white lies; stretching the truth, half-truths, or those giving the false impression all fall under the category of a lie.

But, the debate part of our discussion lies in the following situation:

You are apart from your spouse. During the course of the day you meet someone on the street and you are attracted to them. You know your spouse will be upset upon hearing this because they have a jealous streak in them. You choose not to tell your spouse of the incident/attraction. Are you lying to them?

First of all, ignorance is bliss and what you do not know will not hurt you. Second of all, unless your spouse asks to know names and social security numbers of everyone you meet, you are not obligated to tell them anything. Unless they specifically say, "Honey, did you meet anyone you were attracted to?", why would you furnish this on your own?

Because it is unspoken, it is NOT a lie and furthermore because there is no intention on your part or your spouse's in knowing, it does not fit either definition of a lie.

I suppose what I am trying to say is if your spouse says to you, "Let me know the minute you come across someone you find attractive.", you are not obligated to say anything. Shut yo ass up and keep on. :)

I think when people go on to find and define all intentions and ways perfecting the art of lying, only then do people begin to have the deceit and ill-intention involved in getting around a sticky situation. Otherwise, its not an invitation to panick.

Moral: If you dont act guilty, feel guilty or seem guilty, you're probably not guilty. On the other hand, if you rationalize your actions, you're most likely guilty and will not have any need to lie because it will be so transparent to your spouse that they would not believe you if you said your own name.

There is only one definition for lying: leading someone to believe in something false. Whether you speak it, hear it, see it, or live it is irrelevant.

You either ask all questions upfront or you keep yo mouth shut! :)

Nobody Asked Me If I Wanted To Grow Up!

(Heaven On Earth)

I'm in a sugar coma dreaming of chocolate rivers, gingerbread houses, buttercream clouds, peppermint stick sidewalks, and caramel coated toffee crusted lampposts.

Wait? What's that I hear? Its the icecream man! Its the ice cream man!!

I run over to the truck, tossing kids left and right, right up to his window, I can smell hot fudge and sugar... the blood in my veins is singing with excitement -- insulin racing through it to prepare for the WORST -- its WAR!

Ice cream Man: What'll it be sweetheart?
Me: I want it all, gimme gimme everything ya got.. gimme.. gimme... a diet coke float with soybean ice cream and fat free whipped cream?

Aaah, shit!

He hands me a stick of gum -- on the house.

Being an adult BITES!

I'm trying this cleansing "diet" out for the next 7 days: nothing edible, just liquids. Im dreaming in candy now. I just hit an all time low... someone pray for me!

I intend to reach a level of ibadat where I no longer need fuel to sustain my body, but rather dhikr alone.

If I die... please bury me in a chocolate covered cookie whipped something or other.

My Girl - The Temptations

This is going to be the song I dance to with my Pa at my wedding, iA. It's our favorite.

"I don't need no money,
Fortune or fame.
I've got all the riches, baby,
One man can claim."

He says that all the time!

Open Letter To God

Dear God,

This is your humble servant Farah. I just have one major request: When you decide Lauren's fate, please remember she's the blonde one and I'm the brunette. We sit close to each other at work (in adjacent cubicles) and I'd hate to get what was coming to her. Sometimes, our office is very noisy (people coughing, me hiccuping, her laughing at her own jokes), I would hate for you to think I was partaking in her commentary.

I am innocent. She's everything but!

Lauren: dude i think he hacked up a baby
Farah: hell is not a fun place
Lauren: i'm laughing at my own joke
Farah: yeah i heard you
Lauren: dude must have TB or something


Lauren: OMG. i'm peeing over here. i thought of something funny. but its mean
Farah: what
Lauren: you gonna take bartol-i-ate-too-manysandwiches needle?
Farah: I'm not even gonna say it. really.
Lauren: dude
Farah: You're so going to Hell.
Lauren: thats funny. come on. i ahve tears in my eyes
Farah: lol. look .. see.. you made me laugh out loud. now im an accessory to your crime.
Lauren: I dont hear you laugh out loud. thats a lol violation, Im going to charge you on that. a piece of gum everytime.

Lauren: is jon back?
Farah: dont know
Lauren: dude, he's fucking hiding i know it! i'm not going to sandwich's needle
Farah: lol
Lauren: i'm so hyper today i'm sweating through my shirt

See. It's her not me. Walahi. Oops. I mean honestly.

In closing I will say, please don't mistake me for her. :)

Thank you,
Farah... the brunette girl who ONLY sometimes laughs at Lauren's jokes so that Lauren doesnt feel left out!

Elevator Humor -- I Had To!

Elevator Magic
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?"

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"
***********
Crowded Elevator

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly. "I did."
***********
Ballroom

This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please." A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."

Thank You

Create Your Glitter Text

I have reached my Walk America Goal of $200!! I have raised $238 to be exact.

Check out my homepage: http://www.walkamerica.org/personal_page.asp?w=745942

A super special, warm and fuzzy thanks to all who supported me. May Allah bless you endlessly for contributing to give little ones, too little to fight on their own, a chance in this world.

Mwah!

Elevators: Stupidis Inventicus

Now, I have come to grips with the fact that some people in this world just always end up with the short end of the stick. I am one of those people. What's funny is that its a totally curable disease: I just need to pay attention more. That's the hard part.

No matter what happens, I somehow always end up on the wrong elevator atleast twice a week at work. Im in a hurry to get to a procedure and I take the elevator thinking its going up when it's headed down. Or, I forget my floor and skip it going up. Or, I get off on the wrong floor. Or, this is the funniest, I forget whether the first floor is "1", "L", "G", or "B". "L" can mean lobby, lower, and "G" can be ground or garage, "B" can be basement, boiler, or bottom.

It's like so freakkin annoying. And they're all possessed I tell ya! I have yet to come across a straight-laced elevator without quirks. (either they skip a floor, always open twice at a floor, or open slightly above or below a floor so you have to jump out) At my University, our classes were on the 19th floor. In order to come down from the 19th (of 21 floors), you had to push the UP button, because then you'd get the first cart going up and once you got in you had to push L for lobby and it went down instead of going up. Every once in awhile you'd come across a "freebie" elevator. You know what a freebie elevator is? Its one that isnt being called to any other floor. People dont realize it, but you can go in and push a button and regardless if the elevator was supposed to be going down, if you hit "10", the arrow will change and you'll be on your way up. It's called elevator-jacking. Once, I was on the 7th floor and a group of us got on. The elevator button in the lobby was lit for "up". I got in first and hit L. The elevator changed directions and I took it all the way down. The people weren't too happy.

The thing that annoys me the most? When people get on the elevator and they go to the back without ONCE checking the board for what floor they want. Its not even a case of they stole a glance or something cuz I watched this dude, very carefully, he came in, went to the back, put his head down and waited. I'm like are you just on for the ride? Where ya going son?! It makes me angry -- Im like, "What floor asshole??" And it's like they dont care... they could get off at any floor and it wouldnt matter to them, meanwhile I pick my floor and still end up lost. Go figure!

The absolute worstest ever is when you're on a high rise and this snot-faced, pig-tailed, cootie-fingered brat wants to push all the buttons -- yours and the elevator's. Makes you want to pry the doors open and send her down the shaft. (It's the hole the rabbit went down in Alice and Wonderland!) Kerrrrrr-SPLAT! (yes, Im joking.)

This one time it was as simple as going from the 7th floor to the 2nd. I got on the wrong elevator and it went up and stopped on each and every floor. I had the theme of Gilligan's Island running through my head. I had to get off twice to make room for stretchers because patients have the right of way. I went up to like the 12 or 13th, had to get off, waited and waited, took the elevator up because the next floor is 16 and then all cars go down anyway, the elevator hits 16 comes back down.. stops at 13 AGAIN and then proceeds to stop at every floor... I got kicked off at 5 and then it took forever for the next car to go down to the 2nd, where I eventually got off. Boiled my blood. I look at the people in the car -- Yall are going up aren't you? CRAP! I go on and on and on about how Im fed up and they just listen and act like they have no clue what Im talking about. I pray they all end up on wrong floors someday!

It's not about getting out and walking down steps. If I do that, then the elevators win! We cannot let them win people! We must stand and fight.

Yesterday, I took the elevator with no surprises, thankfully, but this girl on it already says, "Like Oh my GOD, this sucks. I got on the wrong elevator! I've been hitting every single floor!!"

I smile... then act as if I have no clue what she's talking about.

I hope I make it off in one piece!

See Men Analysis

Ok so one of the roughest parts of our job is to run morphologic studies on... yes. Germie Spermies is what I call them. Never ceases to milk all giggles out of me. You know what? I gotta hand it to them, guys have it bad. When you can quantitatively judge "manhood", yeah.. its a damn shame when they don't mesaure up and when their swimmers need lessons or ... directions.

Our prep techs are Indian. And the one lady gets very red in the face whenever she has to prepare one. Laur and I hold nothing back at our commentary. If we ever get semen analysis taken away from our department it will be the end of laughter in our world as we know it.

So the semen analysis from today: Infertile specimen that had hardly a few sperm -- we do a count and convert it to millions. I counted 3.5 on average and that means roughly 4 million sperm. Normal counts are 300 - 400 million.

I cant help but asking Alice what she prepped.
Me: There's nothing here.
Alice: (already getting red) I know. Did you see how much we got? 1ml.
Me: Oh wow. That's like, blip! Hey Laur, look, there's 1ml of specimen in this!
Laur: Dude, thats less than what people sneeze out of their nose!

(ACHOO!)

Hahaaha. We're going on and on, poor Alice sandwiched between silly girls not about to let men have their cake and eat it, too. You might think you're the superior species, but not in this department. Not today anway.

:)

It's a Fish, It's a Bear, It's A... Bird?

Me (to my co-workers): Did you know penguins are birds?
Laur and Jon: Yeah
Laur: You didnt know that?
Me: I think I did, but it just strikes me as odd.
Laur: They're birds. They lay eggs.
Me: Yeah but we lay eggs and we're not birds.
Laur: (silence)
Me: Wait, I mean, reptiles lay eggs, they're not birds.
Laur: But reptiles are closer to birds than you think.
Jon: Some reptiles have live birth.
Me: Well, alligators and turtles lay eggs; they're not birds. Ducks lay eggs. Oh wait, they're birds.
Laur: Did you know the next animal on the list to becoming extinct? The polar bear. Do you know why?
Me: Because its a bird, too?


I'm having more problems than you know with this whole bird thing.

The High Road Is Closed Due To Flooding

My aloo gobi passed! I hit up my vegetarian friend last night wondering what she could possibly be busy with on a Wednesday night, in hopes of scoring a date so she could try my dish out. (I bring dinner - I make it to second base? haha jk... "The Lesbians Are Coming.." I know, I know. That post will haunt me forever. But she did walk me to my car!!!) She invited me over and I took the opportunity to make the most of the meal and take over other leftovers like my chicken (that I would otherwise never eat at home), haath ki roti, the remaining pieces of cake from this weekend, and a couple of sweet potatoes. Perfect!

I don't usually eat leftovers, not because of some high pride or whatnot, but simply because I forget what's in my refrigerator. Dinner was really cute, just me, my friend, and her sister. We should do it more often; atleast once a week. It's a great way to relax and de-stress.

Now, you cant throw a bunch of educated girls together and expect them not to have some sort of intellectual throwdown. Our topics are most always related to Islam or race in some way and so we're limited to topics of marriage, the Last Day, dos/donts, and Jinn -- the latter making for GREAT ghost story fun!

Our topic: Muslim brothers over the age of 23 have most probably had pre-marital sex. You could take either the "I agree" or "I disagree" approach and then add your personal thoughts. Last I checked the statement was 27 instead of 23, but that WAS 2 years ago.

Now, perhaps its ignorance (which WALAHI is bliss), but I have always given everyone the benefit of the doubt, sometimes even after I found out -- which by the way will never happen again because I realized it was more my reluctance to accept what I had been told rather than to rise above it and move on-- but to some extent when you find out, and how you find out is important. Even more important is what you do once you do find out.

Is this why I'm still single? Is it impossible for young Muslim brothers to keep it in their pants until marriage and I'm being too picky? Do I just accept that there is no one else left and decide to look beyond this immoral act? Am I the only one who finds it immoral still? Do girls from my generation have a tough time finding someone because all the guys we would be considering fall under that stereotypical category of "Single Muslim man over the age of 23 ergo read between the sheets"? Should we just look for someone younger? Someone we can perhaps condition to remain celibate until the absolute person comes along and a contract is drawn binding two together under the eyes of God and a bunch of nosy ass relatives you didnt even know you had?

When it comes to guys, I dont do leftovers. I have not yet nor ever will do refurbished goods, or irregular "buy one, get one STD free" types.

(a conversation with my Mom last year -- which not much has changed a year later)

Ma: You cannot in this life or any other make believe world you live in ever enforce your morals on others. You are who you are. You can control your own actions. Marriage is a sacred union that two people enter. Everything before that is irrelevant.

Me: Everything before that is irrelevant? Hold up. You enforced yours on me! If you were going to tell me that absolutely everything I ever learned or was taught by Islam and enforced by you and Pa was irrelevant then why the horror stories of grave sins and snakes coming to eat you in your grave time and time over because of having crossed the line even ONCE.

Ma: We never forced it. That was your choice. Im not with you 24/7.

Me: Oh that is so typical! That is so typical of this culture and religion. Im tired of it! Im tired of all the BS of double standards. Why should I have to suffer knowing what I'm giving will never be reciprocated?

Ma: You asked me and I told you. Sometimes a don't ask dont tell policy is best.

Me: You know what? Fine. Whatever.

Ma: Where are you going?

Me: Sometimes a don't ask don't tell policy is best!

I'll never forget that. I'll never forget how many things change through the years. But how DARE you teach me right from wrong and then pull the ground from under me and excuse someone else's not-so-pious actions? You're taught one thing, only to later in life be told the old song and dance of leading a horse to water but not making him drink. What else were we to think? What are parents, Imams, older brothers, protecting us from if they know many cannot hold themselves to the same accord? How are they protecting us if later in life it will hurt so much when we suddenly realize that the one we thought was perfect... isnt?

I remember when I got chicken pox. My mom told me not to itch because if I did it would scar and I would be "disfigured". It KILLED me to not sail caution down a river and scratch the bitch out of every inch of my body when Mom wasnt looking. But I didnt. I didnt scratch like a maniac, but I squeezed the life out of every single calamine lotion bottle in the house. What's left? Do they not sell calamine lotion in all parts of the world? Is that my problem? Was it discontinued in the middle of the night and I missed the memo?

I thought that itch was the worst, then I grew up. Nothing is easy. Everyone gets tried. Don't look at me and think temptation cant touch this! What am I, a rock? But it's world's best feeling to know you've managed to rise above this evil all your life, not ONCE faltering, not ONCE losing all control, and not ONCE saying you walked away from something leaving your honor behind.

Can someone, again, like before please tell me what to believe, because I'm lost and confused, and my thoughts put me in the bathroom all night, hung over the toilet throwing up my own aloo gobi, crying over a life that never seems fair enough to me.

The high road is perhaps only walked by those secure in themselves to look past just about anything. I've always taken it. I've always taken it, consciously, and its lead me nowhere. It's a dead end road. It's also a one way street. The road is paved with sharp stones and glass and you can only walk barefoot. I can't bear to walk it again. I just don't have it in me.

Laughing Babies

mA how adorable!

Define Productivity

Khizzle Dizzle: just got out of another meeting. you know they absolutely destroy productivity. you can't ever get into your groove if you have meetings every hour..it's like as soon as I start to get serious about something, MEETING TIME!
Farah: lol, your productivity is limited to internet, ahahha looking at baby penguins. its called work lol ahahahah
Khizzle Dizzle: No I processed about..looks like 20 papers on my desk
Farah: lol shuffled around
Khizzle Dizzle: But baby penguins! That's a good idea. awwwwwww http://www.thecuteproject.com/images/items/1043.jpg

SMS as SOS from SIS

Sometimes it seems like one lives on land, one in the water. But all other times she's got my back and I got hers.

Text (from me to my sister in the AM): Guddu!! make me laugh. Im not in a good mood :(

Text (from Mimi to me): Oh God. A gummy worm is stuck in my throat.

:)

That's what sisters are for!

More Than Words - Frankie J

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PI_1GU5lwcQ

I Did It!!!

What is it about cooking that makes you face your fear of a vegetable and take the challenge of cutting and preparing it without flinching? At work, our prep techs are South Indian. South Indian cuisine has long been a mystery to me: How on Earth do people go without meat??

But lately, I've been noticing a change in my palate habits. I've begun exploring this vast world of vegetables and its not so bad. (Yesterday, I had a veggie diablo from the sandwich place -- eggplant, broccoli raab, sharp provolone, and peppers -- yum!-- over turkey anything) Ma is totally confused and Pa is ecstatic.

Me (before, when Ma didnt make a meat dish): What are we, Hindu?????

The neat thing is that I am learning all about new dishes to make from these two Aunties. Every other so often we'll try and bring something in to share at lunch. Yesterday, I told them I would bring in aloo gobi and Thresa Auntie will bring in roti.

I was super anxious to get started yesterday. I went shopping and got everything I needed. I got up reallly really early this morning --actually having been able to sleep early last night :(

and started doing the usual --- browning onions, cutting tomatoes and potatos. I didnt understand what exactly to do with the cauliflower so I just broke it into lots of pieces and threw away the stalk.

I made my own masala -- salt, pepper, turmeric, garlic, ginger, garam masala, etc. Good stuff!

I am so proud of myself because I did it without ONCE having to call Ma up. At one point I was about to (so what if its 4 in the morning -- she cooks in her sleep. she coulda helped out) because my potatoes weren't softening and my cauliflower looked like bleached raw broccoli sitting atop a pile of potatoe stock. I just turned down the heat and covered the dish, checked my mail, came back and it looked perfect, mA. (YES, I MASHA'ALLAH EVERYTHING. As a matter of fact, Im masha'Allah-ing this whole post in case you dont say it while reading.. AND I'm masha'Allahing my dish too so when people start saying stuff about it, it'll be ok.) What's next??? Palak with paneer (with homemade paneer).

Now here comes the final moment of truth: the taste test. I forgot completely about my fear and hate of aloo gobi until I absentmindedly took a fork and got some to taste. Oh, no. What now? So finally I took a deep breath and tried some.

Fan-freakkkkin-tastic!!!!!!!

...masha'Allah! ;)

Non-Verbal Words

AQUARIUS

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Passion takes a decidedly intuitive turn, as you may have a chance to express your affections without resorting to words. Look to relax with a companion and get to know each other without having to talk much. The non-verbal speaks loudly.

...and then sometimes all it takes is an unbiased perspective.

When Your Thoughts Open Fire