Alhamdullilah, we're really lucky that we are designed in a way to keep our private thoughts to ourselves. Islamically we are not even judged for our thoughts. They are simple pleasures for our own delight and entertainment.
Now imagine, if you will, a crazy mishap where we wear our thoughts on our shirts, not so unlike wearing our hearts on our sleeves. Imagine what would happen? Imagine walking around and being able to read, literally, everyone's thoughts. Nothing would be secret anymore.
If you had to wear what was on your mind 24/7 on your shirt, how would your shirt read?
I <3 DUCKIES?
SHOW ME YOUR GOODIES?
HOW DID I END UP WITH HIM?
GOT POT?
I HATE MY JOB!
LET'S PLAY!
I'M GOING TO PUKE?
I for one would be in a mental dressing room, forever changing my shirt with each racing thought.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
ALLEGEDLY
Did you ever want to make something seem scandelous or more interesting on purpose? Are you bored of your life and all its Mondays? If you ever find yourself in the most moodiest and crapiest of days and/or figure everyone around you is purposely annoying you, I have a surefire trick to bring a smile to your face and cause everyone to want to throw themselves off very tall buildings. You simply say your sentences but casually insert the word allegedly at the end of each statement or story.
al·leged –adjective
1. declared or stated to be as described; asserted: The alleged murderer could not be located for questioning.
2.doubtful; suspect; supposed: The alleged cure-all produced no results when it was tested by reputable doctors.
al·lege –verb (used with object), -leged, -leg·ing.
1. to assert without proof.
2.to declare with positiveness; affirm; assert: to allege a fact.
3.to declare before a court or elsewhere, as if under oath.
4.to plead in support of; offer as a reason or excuse.
5.Archaic. to cite or quote in confirmation.
Supervisor: Is your presentation ready?
Co-worker: Yes, allegedly.
Supervisor: You think you can handle it?
Co-worker: I think I can handle it, allegedly.
Supervisor takes a pause.
Co-worker: Am I fired?
Supervisor: Allegedly. :D
Husband: Honey, did you get the oil changed?
Wife: Yes, dear, allegedly.
Husband: Do we still have a car?
See the difference:
Scenario A:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008.
Co-worker#2: Are there any more donuts on the table?
Scenario B:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008...allegedly.
Co-worker#2: DUDE! You hit that didnt you? On the conference table, you dawg! You da MAN!
(Co-worker#3..aka ME: I hope you moved the donuts. You moved them didnt you? For the love of God, did you move them? They're gone arent they? Ahh, DAMNNN!) :P
Mother: Did you take out the trash yet?
Son: I took out the trash, allegedly.
Mother: Did you clean your room?
Son: I cleaned my room, allegedly.
Mother: Boy you better give me a straight answer or else Im going to put my foot up your ass.... allegedly!
Ma: Eid Mubarak.
Me: We're celebrating on Friday, allegedly.
Ma: Did you clean your apartment?
Me: I cleaned my apartment, allegedly.
Ma: Did you pack your suitcase yet?
Me: I have thought about packing my suitcase, allegedly.
Ma: (finally picking up on the theme) What? You either did or you didnt.
Me: Im mentally preparing myself to pack my suitcase...
Ma waits.
Me: Allegedly.
Ma: Oh for God's sake! (insert explicatives, here, here, and THERE!)
If this conversation took place Im sure she would have slapped me twice. Allegedly? No, that one Im sure of! :D
Its a lot of fun. Try it out for yourself, but do be careful. Things could get a little ugly...allegedly!
al·leged –adjective
1. declared or stated to be as described; asserted: The alleged murderer could not be located for questioning.
2.doubtful; suspect; supposed: The alleged cure-all produced no results when it was tested by reputable doctors.
al·lege –verb (used with object), -leged, -leg·ing.
1. to assert without proof.
2.to declare with positiveness; affirm; assert: to allege a fact.
3.to declare before a court or elsewhere, as if under oath.
4.to plead in support of; offer as a reason or excuse.
5.Archaic. to cite or quote in confirmation.
Supervisor: Is your presentation ready?
Co-worker: Yes, allegedly.
Supervisor: You think you can handle it?
Co-worker: I think I can handle it, allegedly.
Supervisor takes a pause.
Co-worker: Am I fired?
Supervisor: Allegedly. :D
Husband: Honey, did you get the oil changed?
Wife: Yes, dear, allegedly.
Husband: Do we still have a car?
See the difference:
Scenario A:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008.
Co-worker#2: Are there any more donuts on the table?
Scenario B:
Co-worker#1: Susan and I were in the conference room working out financial models for the year 2008...allegedly.
Co-worker#2: DUDE! You hit that didnt you? On the conference table, you dawg! You da MAN!
(Co-worker#3..aka ME: I hope you moved the donuts. You moved them didnt you? For the love of God, did you move them? They're gone arent they? Ahh, DAMNNN!) :P
Mother: Did you take out the trash yet?
Son: I took out the trash, allegedly.
Mother: Did you clean your room?
Son: I cleaned my room, allegedly.
Mother: Boy you better give me a straight answer or else Im going to put my foot up your ass.... allegedly!
Ma: Eid Mubarak.
Me: We're celebrating on Friday, allegedly.
Ma: Did you clean your apartment?
Me: I cleaned my apartment, allegedly.
Ma: Did you pack your suitcase yet?
Me: I have thought about packing my suitcase, allegedly.
Ma: (finally picking up on the theme) What? You either did or you didnt.
Me: Im mentally preparing myself to pack my suitcase...
Ma waits.
Me: Allegedly.
Ma: Oh for God's sake! (insert explicatives, here, here, and THERE!)
If this conversation took place Im sure she would have slapped me twice. Allegedly? No, that one Im sure of! :D
Its a lot of fun. Try it out for yourself, but do be careful. Things could get a little ugly...allegedly!
Monday, December 17, 2007
25 to Life - Awaiting Parole
Exchanging one set of rings for another. I once asked a 'married-at-18' friend what it was like to be married so young. "Aren't you sad at not being able to live on your own, go out and travel the world, be a free-spirit for just a little while longer? Married at 18 sounds like a prison sentence." Acknowledging my queries as love rather than mockery, she merely shrugged her shoulders and accepted what was decided or planned for her, if you will.
Fast forward ten years to me sifting through all the nagging, "Don't-you-want-to-be-married?" questions while dodging the now 28 year old mother of three at all costs whatsoever.
What have I done? Where have I travelled? Why don't I feel free? The past 25 years feel like a cruel joke twisted in irony worse than just imagining green grass at the other side of the fence. A double-edged sword/glass all empty kind of sick reality. How much of my sentence is left? Have I been rehabilitated? Is there any chance of parole? Do I get anything for my good behavior? Solitary confinement will make you do some pretty crazy things. Am I liable for it all? Can I plead insanity, or is it too late?
Don't PROFILE me BRO!
If you don't get this joke, you really do need to come out of your cave!
Ohh what people will do for a little bit of youtube notoriety! That's it? That's what our generation will go down in history for: who can come up with the biggest youtube prank? Ridiculous. Back in the day college and universities held knowledge which drove people seeking enlightenment insane. Forget the thirst for knowledge, we don't even have cups!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Do You See What I See?
Last night while watching television my younger sister asked me a question. "When you think of Allah (swt) do you have an image that comes to mind?", she asked.
She's nine years younger to me, has always and will always be thought of by me as my baby sister, so you can imagine my surprise when she came to me with one of my favorite questions ever!
Yes, I replied instantaneously, overjoyed that she was taking out the time from DEAL OR NO DEAL to get down and philosophical with me on something other than holiday shopping or whether or not a certain rapper is really muslim as he says he is. I told her my image and she laughed and told me hers.
When it has been proven that no two people have the same fingerprint patterns, even twins with the same genetic code, how can it be that we will all have the same concept of Allah (swt)? Isn't it part of His glorification for us to come up with as many unique ways as we can to see Him in every aspect of life? Our concept of Allah (swt) is the same: One, supreme, all-knowing, merciful, but what that means to us individually is very different.
For me, when I think of Allah (swt) I think of an old man, very long white beard, in a white robe with a hood and an intense light source behind Him, illuminating Him so that I cannot make out features other than a very pretty long straight, thin nose.
I realize this image of a Gandalf-like Allah (swt) is borrowed from popular thought, but think about it: How else do you explain the inexplainable? We're human, its natural to have an image come to mind. What's your image? Some people say their image is one of the endless horizon.. where sky meets the sea at sunset, water in the Sahara desert, green grass and fertile fields, a babys laughter, mother's smile, etc. You cannot praise Allah (swt) and have your mental screen go blank or snowy, can you? Do you? How do you picture Allah (swt)?
It never ceases to amaze me how Muslims can state that Allah (swt) is merciful, yet continue harp on all the things that will force Him to throw us into Hell. My Allah is merciful, knows we're humans not above making mistakes and its ok to ask for forgiveness and expect to be forgiven. Otherwise, whats the point of His mercy if you dont believe you're entitled to it?
However you choose to allow your mind to comprehend His mercy and His greatness, realizing that we have no idea and will not until its all said and done gives us more appreciation for His uniqueness. Explain it how you will, and if someone tries to tell you that you're wrong tell them their guess is as good as yours.
She's nine years younger to me, has always and will always be thought of by me as my baby sister, so you can imagine my surprise when she came to me with one of my favorite questions ever!
Yes, I replied instantaneously, overjoyed that she was taking out the time from DEAL OR NO DEAL to get down and philosophical with me on something other than holiday shopping or whether or not a certain rapper is really muslim as he says he is. I told her my image and she laughed and told me hers.
When it has been proven that no two people have the same fingerprint patterns, even twins with the same genetic code, how can it be that we will all have the same concept of Allah (swt)? Isn't it part of His glorification for us to come up with as many unique ways as we can to see Him in every aspect of life? Our concept of Allah (swt) is the same: One, supreme, all-knowing, merciful, but what that means to us individually is very different.
For me, when I think of Allah (swt) I think of an old man, very long white beard, in a white robe with a hood and an intense light source behind Him, illuminating Him so that I cannot make out features other than a very pretty long straight, thin nose.
I realize this image of a Gandalf-like Allah (swt) is borrowed from popular thought, but think about it: How else do you explain the inexplainable? We're human, its natural to have an image come to mind. What's your image? Some people say their image is one of the endless horizon.. where sky meets the sea at sunset, water in the Sahara desert, green grass and fertile fields, a babys laughter, mother's smile, etc. You cannot praise Allah (swt) and have your mental screen go blank or snowy, can you? Do you? How do you picture Allah (swt)?
It never ceases to amaze me how Muslims can state that Allah (swt) is merciful, yet continue harp on all the things that will force Him to throw us into Hell. My Allah is merciful, knows we're humans not above making mistakes and its ok to ask for forgiveness and expect to be forgiven. Otherwise, whats the point of His mercy if you dont believe you're entitled to it?
However you choose to allow your mind to comprehend His mercy and His greatness, realizing that we have no idea and will not until its all said and done gives us more appreciation for His uniqueness. Explain it how you will, and if someone tries to tell you that you're wrong tell them their guess is as good as yours.
In Pain
Why is it we only remember sound advice and wise words after the damage has already been done?I went out during my lunch break and got soup and hot coffee. Its freezing outside, I figured my soup had cooled enough. I took a huge spoonful and felt intense pain as the top layer of the roof of my mouth caught fire, then peeled off. It was only then that I had a flashback to my mother reminding me to blow on my food and make sure its cool before I begin. Ignoring all good sense, and having no other liquid near by, I took a huge swallow of my still scalding hot coffee.
Yes, I believe I actually felt my soul being lifted from my body. It hurts that much. I shall sit here in silence until the four-alarm ringing in my ears stops.
Speed Demon
I'm back to work after a two day break to trek down to my parents' to figure out some stuff, yell at a few people, scream, complain, threaten, and breathe, too. I had to check beforehand the possible penalty involved with mouthing off to consulate workers. The punishment didnt fit the crime and so I blogged about it instead!
I had to wake up bright and early this morning for my what was supposed to be a 2 1/2 hr drive in to work, but what ended up being longer due to traffic and rain. Made it too and all without coffee. Im so proud of myself as I sit here plotting about whose coffee to steal a sip from. :P
I wish it would just SNOW! Just do it and get it over with. I hate rain -- except when Im driving through puddles at mock speed splashing water all over people standing wayyy too damn close to the curb at the intersections. I learned a long time ago to backup when cars go by in the rain. An umbrella can only do so much.
I'm here, God dammit. And I am ready to work -- supercharged and waiting for my next needle biopsy. I have one essay to finish, one to proof-read, and one powerpoint project that I cannot wait to start.
Spread love people. :)
I had to wake up bright and early this morning for my what was supposed to be a 2 1/2 hr drive in to work, but what ended up being longer due to traffic and rain. Made it too and all without coffee. Im so proud of myself as I sit here plotting about whose coffee to steal a sip from. :P
I wish it would just SNOW! Just do it and get it over with. I hate rain -- except when Im driving through puddles at mock speed splashing water all over people standing wayyy too damn close to the curb at the intersections. I learned a long time ago to backup when cars go by in the rain. An umbrella can only do so much.
I'm here, God dammit. And I am ready to work -- supercharged and waiting for my next needle biopsy. I have one essay to finish, one to proof-read, and one powerpoint project that I cannot wait to start.
Spread love people. :)
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Countdown Begins...
Ok so you know how certain things can only be done during the weekday while most people are working and otherwise unable to enterain in these certain things. Well, sometimes it all accumulates and causes you to break away and run off to another dimension (aka parents' home) to figure and situate everything out.
We had issues with our visas for Pakistan and Ive been on the phone with these IDIOTS for forever and believe me it wasnt pretty. I almost broke out my punjabi gallies and you KNOW I only use those for special occasions.
Embassy Lady: Well, we need you to send a return envelope in order for us to EXPRESS MAIL everything back to you.
Me: EXCUSE ME??? We sent a return envelope with PRIORITY SHIPPING in the SAME envelope.
EL: Well, there is no return tracking number.
Me: You mean to tell me that the post office screwed up?
EL: Yes, they dont know what to do. You have to tell them and write a return by hand.
(WHAT?)
Me: I did. I wrote the return label myself. I had it added in the envelope as well. You mean to tell me that two separate post offices SCREWED up?? (my mom and sis had theirs sent from Maryland while I sent mine from Philly -- she said both offices messed up the tracking numbers -- I dont think so!)
EL: Well, ok. The philly one is fine. But the Maryland one is wrong.
Me: Now see, not two seconds ago the Philly one was wrong too. Ghalat fehmi aapse huwi hai -- dobara check ki jiaye! (yeah yeah... my wicked formal urdu)
EL: The Philly one is fine.
ME: (screaming at the top of my lungs) THEN MAIL THEM ALL TO PHILLY IN THE ONE RETURN ENVELOPE THAT IS RIGHT!
EL: Ok, fine. But it will be for three months. Not five years.
Me: Ek aur museebat? Why?
EL: Let me transfer you to [head honcho-- aka KAMINA IN CHARGE aka Executive Ustad Zaleel Sala Choudhry :)]
Me: Make sure you transfer right and dont hang up on me!
Now... here's the thing. Pa just got a five years visa. Theres no way Im paying the same amount of money to have Aloo Pakora Ji tell me its only good for three months. Screw that. Here's how that lovely conversation went:
Me: Im a US born citizen.
Embassy Sala: Ok, but I need you to send me your Pakistani passport.
Me: WHAT PAKISTANI PASSPORT??? I dont have a Pakistani passport.
ES: Phir aapko visa kioon chahiaye!?
LOL.....am I really having this conversation?
Me: Ok. Fine. Just put give it for three months. (Mera baap aye ga aur tujhe jahanum ka visa lagwaye ga!)
Great, now IM pissed again!
Ma: &^%^%$(*&*^^$%^^&)*(&$#*%!!!!!!!
Me: oh wow! I didnt know that one.
:P
We had issues with our visas for Pakistan and Ive been on the phone with these IDIOTS for forever and believe me it wasnt pretty. I almost broke out my punjabi gallies and you KNOW I only use those for special occasions.
Embassy Lady: Well, we need you to send a return envelope in order for us to EXPRESS MAIL everything back to you.
Me: EXCUSE ME??? We sent a return envelope with PRIORITY SHIPPING in the SAME envelope.
EL: Well, there is no return tracking number.
Me: You mean to tell me that the post office screwed up?
EL: Yes, they dont know what to do. You have to tell them and write a return by hand.
(WHAT?)
Me: I did. I wrote the return label myself. I had it added in the envelope as well. You mean to tell me that two separate post offices SCREWED up?? (my mom and sis had theirs sent from Maryland while I sent mine from Philly -- she said both offices messed up the tracking numbers -- I dont think so!)
EL: Well, ok. The philly one is fine. But the Maryland one is wrong.
Me: Now see, not two seconds ago the Philly one was wrong too. Ghalat fehmi aapse huwi hai -- dobara check ki jiaye! (yeah yeah... my wicked formal urdu)
EL: The Philly one is fine.
ME: (screaming at the top of my lungs) THEN MAIL THEM ALL TO PHILLY IN THE ONE RETURN ENVELOPE THAT IS RIGHT!
EL: Ok, fine. But it will be for three months. Not five years.
Me: Ek aur museebat? Why?
EL: Let me transfer you to [head honcho-- aka KAMINA IN CHARGE aka Executive Ustad Zaleel Sala Choudhry :)]
Me: Make sure you transfer right and dont hang up on me!
Now... here's the thing. Pa just got a five years visa. Theres no way Im paying the same amount of money to have Aloo Pakora Ji tell me its only good for three months. Screw that. Here's how that lovely conversation went:
Me: Im a US born citizen.
Embassy Sala: Ok, but I need you to send me your Pakistani passport.
Me: WHAT PAKISTANI PASSPORT??? I dont have a Pakistani passport.
ES: Phir aapko visa kioon chahiaye!?
LOL.....am I really having this conversation?
Me: Ok. Fine. Just put give it for three months. (Mera baap aye ga aur tujhe jahanum ka visa lagwaye ga!)
Great, now IM pissed again!
Ma: &^%^%$(*&*^^$%^^&)*(&$#*%!!!!!!!
Me: oh wow! I didnt know that one.
:P
Monday, December 10, 2007
Weekend Update
Do these glasses make me look fat? So I finally went to the local library Saturday morning and got a library card. Ive only been here, what, 18 months? Reading is a huge passion and Im thrilled that I get to take the train to and from work (30 minute commute one way) and have plenty of reading time.
Because I read fast, through persistence and speed reading, and because I have time to read I tend to go through books rather quickly, almost to the tune of a standard 250-300 page book a night. I refuse to spend any more money on books, so I resorting to checking them out. The only drawback: sometimes the books arent in circulation at the library, or they have been checked out already.
I love all kinds of books, but Im not too fond of non-fiction or biographies/auto-biographies. I would like to change this however. Right now Im really into scare-the-bejessus-out-of-you-cant-read-in-the-dark-too-scared-to-turn-the-page kind of books. I looked up the top ten scariest books of all time and decided on three.
1.) PREY- Michael Crichton (Juraisic Park)
2.) HELL HOUSE - Richard Matheson
3.) I AM LEGEND - Richard Matheson
The Richard Matheson books weren't in stock, not surprisingly. Most people are in a rush to finish I AM LEGEND before the movie starring Will Smith comes out at the end of this week. I might have to splurge for this one.
I had a wonderful weekend of reading, writing, Grey's Anatomy - season 2, and shopping.
Im reading Prey right now and its really good. Im not one to write reviews, but I'll see if I can put up a few words about it once I finish.
Divorce: Who's Got Their Hand In YOUR Genes?
pick your pick. one size doesn't fit all.
I was going through my blog posts and looking for unfinished work, stuff that had been started but never completed. I came across this article I had saved that asked in the title, "Is Divorce Hereditary?" and I realized I had to publish my thoughts.
Immediately off the top my gut reaction: Ugh. Humans will look for any and all excuses possible to come up with a claim exonerating them from accepting responsibilty for their actions and misconducts. This is so similar to the age-old search for a homosexuality gene.
When will people wake up and realize behaviors are learned and cannot all be medically explained. I can see where a man, otherwise docile in mannerisms has an accident where a metal pole goes through his frontal lobe, which houses personality, suddenly becomes a violent man -- yes, theres a medical connection and reason. But if instead of a metal pole, he meets with a head-on collison with alcohol, his change in attitude is not medically related.
There is no gene that causes people to date the same sex, choose to be divorced, get an abortion, smoke, or become serial killers. Why is it so hard for people to accept they're bad people because they did bad things? Why is it so hard for a gay man to stand up for why he feels attracted to other men? Why is it so hard for people to realize a Vegas wedding to someone they only knew for 34 minutes was not the result of a gene that suddenly decided to replicate and produce anti-marriage macrophages in the body gobbling up pro-marriage ideas?
People are to blame. We're responsible. We should step up and accept that we are capable of causing, caused, and will cause massive destruction. Actions are behaviors in motion. These behaviors are learned. Remember Pavlov's dog? We become accustomed to certain stimuli and respond even when the stimuli is no longer present. We do as we see. We react the only way we know how....sometimes forgetting that we are intelligent creatures succumbing instead to the animal inside.
Our environment plays a very important role, with certain expceptions of course. Certain parts of the globe do not view certain acts in the same way as another part. Certain behaviors would be accepted here whereas elsewhere they wouldnt be tolerate. Divorce isnt hereditary, but its not shocking to see a family where everyone is divorced. It's not genetics, its ethics. It's our environment. Its how easily a behavior becomes a conditioned response.
It's not Allah (swt) or the evil eye. It's us. We're the bad guys. What are we going to do about it? Look for a gene, make a vaccine to stop it's propagation, kill a behavior? Or realize we're different, realize our faults, accept responsibilty and move on?
So NOT Pakistani
I swear to you I'm not Pakistani. This presents somewhat of a huge problem wherein I am scheduled to be kidnapped/handled and dragged away to Pakistan at the end of this month. Being Pakistani is a state of mind, more so than an ethnicity or racial background. My state of mind is crazy but not nearly enough to be considered Pakistani. Shunned by all those Pakistani and cast off as Iraqi, Greek, Italian, and Jamaican?, I will prove to you why I am everything but Pakistani. (No hate mail please. Im definitely going, just saying that Im going to run into some trouble. I'll be prepared, don't worry.)1.) First and foremost, I hate mangoes and apparently this is the first and foremost indicator of Pakistani-ness. I lack the gene neccessary to enjoy mangoes. Not only do I hate mangoes I cannot stand to watch anyone eat mangoes. Traumatized from an early age of watching my family members sit around our kitchen table, slurping at the juices and scraping at the peels, fighting over dental floss. GROSS.
2.) I don't speak urdu, I speak something I call urdi -- an outrageous blending of two languages initiated by a lack of knowledge ending with a blaze indifference towards correcting the uniqueness. Don't get me wrong. I speak well. It's just that Pakistani people have some sort of an arrogance about them that makes them less inclined to associate with anything remotely resembling a hindi movie (in private of course is a different story). We learned most of our "urdu" from hindi movies (thanks to subtitles Im learning sanskrit as welll haha) so certain words or dialogues that I use are borrowed from hindi movies and I have been looked down upon by certain members of my extended family, one in particular who stated in shocked disbelief and horror: Thats not urdu, that's HINDI! Like I had the plague or something. Oh. MY. FREAKING. GOD. Get over it!
3.) Im not a fan of sawwnf (fennel). Ok, if the mango thing didnt make your heart stop, this admition will. I cant stand sawwnf. I dont like the way it smells, tastes, looks, or cooks. Actually, I give myself partial credit for this one -- I do like fennel water, but only after its been distilled over twenty times and you can hardly taste the saawnf. Saawnf, sapari, nothing. Traumatized, again, by my past where someone took colored-sugar coated saawnf and told me it was like sprinkles/jimmies. Retardedly blinded by my love to equate just about anything with sprinkles I dumped a whole mess onto my ice cream/kulfi thing. Gross. Gross. Gross.
4.) Dont get me started on the roohafzah. What the hell is that stuff? I made the mistake once.. just ONCE in my life mistaking what looked like and was told to me by some Auntie --whom I to this day still do not talk to --- to be strawberry milk. IT WAS MILK........with red rooafzah in it. The lies... the lies I tell ya.
5.) Moth balls. As I remember, 22 yrs back, everything smelled like moth balls. I knowwwwwwwww, I knowwwwwwwwww it keeps away bugs etc and whatnot but what the hell! --- people are ok with it? I'll take the bugs if it means getting rid of that God awful sme---no waiit.. HA. Forget it. Screw the bugs.. moth balls arent that bad. Does anyone know where I can get some, other than Pakistan? Walgreens, CVS?
6.) Im not too keen on shalwar kameez -- my mom and I got into this huge argument on Saturday night over me not wanting to wear shalwar kameez in Pakistan. Look --- I like the styles. I like the look. But in the end, Im a jeans and sweatshirt kind of girl --- winter, summer, fall, spring. My need for comfort far outweighs the beauty factor and honestly, who am I trying to impress in Pakistan anyway? Farah needs to be comfortable. I plan on travelling a lot in Pakistan. I refuse to hike a mountain in Bata heels. I have issues keeping my sneaker-laces tied, dealing with whether or not my shalwar string is tied? -- No thanks. No outrunning chipakalees and wondering where my dupatta is! :)
7.) Chai -- There better be a Starbuckwaas in Pakistan! :D
The end.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Intentions and Expectations
I know now from previous experience never to blog when Im angry, but it's been a half an hour and a cup of coffee since I lost my bagel. I think Im okay now.
Last night was RIDICULOUS to say the least...and it was ALL my fault in the worst way. Driving in to work on empty yesterday I reasoned with myself to put gas into my car after work. At night, deserted city, I leave the parking garage and head towards the gas station. I get there and cannot find my lone credit card in my wallet. WTH? Didn't I use it to pay with at the parking garage? Oh. Crap. Yes. Did I leave it in the machine? CRAP! --- ok I actually used the word that expresses the same emotion but begins with "f".
After panicking, I drive back into the city, go to the garage, ask the attendent if they found a credit card all the while pondering to myself 'who the hell would turn in liquid gold????'. Long story short, I find the credit card in my car, gas up, and go on my merry way until the next dilemma, which knowing me you know isnt too far behind.
As I was having dinner at my friends, I thought to myself about intentions and expectations. Its ok to have certain expectations in life, goals/aspirations and the like. We're entitled to expecting a certain level of decency from those close to us. What's not ok is to long jump (olympic gold medal style) to bizarre conclusions.
We're all guilty, but what we should do is take a step back and really dissect what it is thats bothering us to come to certain conclusions about someone and at who's expense.
If your knee-jerk reaction is to think the absolute worst about someone close to you's intentions and actions, then realize that's not a healthy realtionship. There is a theme of trust underlying this blogpost, but it goes deeper than trust. This is more elemental in thought -- how could you seriously think so low of someone you like so much? And if you do, then do you really like them as much as you think you do? If not, then cut them out completely.
It's not fair to anyone, them or you, to keep someone around who is going to make you feel negatively or question their motive -- not really question -- you're basically saying they meant you harm without giving them a chance.
Who suffers?
I cant stand people attempting to figure me out when there's really no point in figuring: Im right here... just ask. After I pass away, people can think what they want, say what they feel, analyze and critique what I really meant to say and how it came out. But so long as I am here and able to speak my mind, ask.
What's worse than the one trying to figure me out? The one who thinks he's got me all figured out. Buddy -- Im still trying, and honestly am not interested in your theories about me.
I don't know what I want, but I know what I dont need. I dont need someone to second guess, judge, accuse, excuse, bash, scandelize, verbalize, penalize, or specialize in me. I stand alone, on my own.
I want to realize my own faults, not be reminded of them by someone who isnt far from making them himself.
Last night was RIDICULOUS to say the least...and it was ALL my fault in the worst way. Driving in to work on empty yesterday I reasoned with myself to put gas into my car after work. At night, deserted city, I leave the parking garage and head towards the gas station. I get there and cannot find my lone credit card in my wallet. WTH? Didn't I use it to pay with at the parking garage? Oh. Crap. Yes. Did I leave it in the machine? CRAP! --- ok I actually used the word that expresses the same emotion but begins with "f".
After panicking, I drive back into the city, go to the garage, ask the attendent if they found a credit card all the while pondering to myself 'who the hell would turn in liquid gold????'. Long story short, I find the credit card in my car, gas up, and go on my merry way until the next dilemma, which knowing me you know isnt too far behind.
As I was having dinner at my friends, I thought to myself about intentions and expectations. Its ok to have certain expectations in life, goals/aspirations and the like. We're entitled to expecting a certain level of decency from those close to us. What's not ok is to long jump (olympic gold medal style) to bizarre conclusions.
We're all guilty, but what we should do is take a step back and really dissect what it is thats bothering us to come to certain conclusions about someone and at who's expense.
If your knee-jerk reaction is to think the absolute worst about someone close to you's intentions and actions, then realize that's not a healthy realtionship. There is a theme of trust underlying this blogpost, but it goes deeper than trust. This is more elemental in thought -- how could you seriously think so low of someone you like so much? And if you do, then do you really like them as much as you think you do? If not, then cut them out completely.
It's not fair to anyone, them or you, to keep someone around who is going to make you feel negatively or question their motive -- not really question -- you're basically saying they meant you harm without giving them a chance.
Who suffers?
I cant stand people attempting to figure me out when there's really no point in figuring: Im right here... just ask. After I pass away, people can think what they want, say what they feel, analyze and critique what I really meant to say and how it came out. But so long as I am here and able to speak my mind, ask.
What's worse than the one trying to figure me out? The one who thinks he's got me all figured out. Buddy -- Im still trying, and honestly am not interested in your theories about me.
I don't know what I want, but I know what I dont need. I dont need someone to second guess, judge, accuse, excuse, bash, scandelize, verbalize, penalize, or specialize in me. I stand alone, on my own.
I want to realize my own faults, not be reminded of them by someone who isnt far from making them himself.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
LATER
Dec. 5, 2007 12:44a
"Good night. We can talk later"
Webster's cites over 25 definitions for the word "later" generally meant to denote a time other than now, right now, this very instant.
"Ambiguity pervades the human condition." I get it now.
Why are we humans so quick to put off til tomorrow what can be accomplished today? Where is there a guarantee that there will even be a tomorrow? Whats the reason for waiting? Is it to wait until the rain stops? Til the voices in your head stop? Til the cows come home? Til the Day of Judgement? Til you have a clue what you're going to say? Til something more important?
Aha. Im not really upset about the wait part so much as I am ticked off that it really got under my skin. Oh and that I cared enough to bother to look up definitions and write about it.
What are we waiting for?
...what am I waiting for?
"Good night. We can talk later"
Webster's cites over 25 definitions for the word "later" generally meant to denote a time other than now, right now, this very instant.
"Ambiguity pervades the human condition." I get it now.
Why are we humans so quick to put off til tomorrow what can be accomplished today? Where is there a guarantee that there will even be a tomorrow? Whats the reason for waiting? Is it to wait until the rain stops? Til the voices in your head stop? Til the cows come home? Til the Day of Judgement? Til you have a clue what you're going to say? Til something more important?
Aha. Im not really upset about the wait part so much as I am ticked off that it really got under my skin. Oh and that I cared enough to bother to look up definitions and write about it.
What are we waiting for?
...what am I waiting for?
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Toxic People - I Hate Everybody! :(
(Warning: RANT thats been held in too long ahead)Ive had enough of some people! Enough. I am so damn through being nice. So damn through. Im tired of putting everyone and their mom first before anything and everything remotely related to or associated with me. Im done caring, Im done understanding, Im done overcompensating, through with relating.
Im tired of the people who have the nerve to call you in the middle of the night to bitch about someone who did them wrong only to have wronged you in the same way not even 14hrs earlier.
Im tired of asking everyone how not only they are doing but their mothers, fathers, neighbors and neighbor's in-laws as well and getting nothing back. WTF? I realize good deeds arent boomerangs and therefore you shouldnt wait for them to come back but COME ONNN let's be honest -- no one does a good deed for no reason. Its either giving to receive or your one way ticket to Jannah, but its still always for something. Im through with seeing no return on my investments! Had it!
I'm through bending over backwards for everyone and having no one even willing to move a quarter of an inch for me. Is it so much to ask for to want someone to jump through hoops for me? Its not like Im asking someone to tightrope over highrises without a safety net. Im asking for mutual respect and some decency to be given back.
Do unto me as you would want done unto you punks! Im not asking much. Oh, and if you really want to be treated this way, then screw you! Im better off without you!
In short, I hate everybody. Goodbye. :(
....ok wait. Thats not true. Not everybody. Just some people who feel as though God created the world to revolve around them. Ok, I realize it's been a while since I learned about the solar system... but Im pretty sure the day doesnt thats not the case sweetie -- so buck up and deal with your own shit cuz the world is not just your playground ho!
Its no fun being taken advantage of. People -- realize your actions have consequences and if youre dealing with a female (esp me) know that everything you do will be analyzed, blogged about, dissected and later resurrected when need be.
So dont screw up. Think about what you say and do. And be mindful of the one who helps you out or who was there for you. Think about how many things you have done for that person. And if that list comes up shorter than what they have done for you --- buy a gun from Walmart and shoot yourself in your pinky toe!
Yes, Im PMSing but thats not to excuse my feelings. These are real. PMS will only excuse my telling the jerk in the elevator who reeked of smoke that he was going to die of lung cancer! :D
Monday, December 03, 2007
Death of a Faithful Friend
My laptop has died. He passed away Saturday afternoon, quietly in my arms, resting on my lap. Inspiron 8600, aka Lappie, was a mean machine. Fast, furious, and full of space in its youthful days. I almost lost him once last year but was able to resuscitate him enough to last another 17 months. My first love, my first laptop. Took with him tons of memories, pictures of good times and programs (because I, again, forgot to backup my work). He was three and a half years old.
Inallilahi wa inna ilayhi jajioon.
He will be missed.
Inallilahi wa inna ilayhi jajioon.
He will be missed.
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