SECRETS

Can you keep a secret? I just finished a book entitled such and it was a phenomenal read: very real, very laugh out loud (in public places) funny. It's about this girl, main character, who has a near death experience on a plane and blurts out her whole life story to the stranger in the seat next to her. He turns out to be the CEO of the marketing company that she works for. Coming face to face with him and her blunders helps her to bring out the truth about herself. Is honesty really the best policy though?

The main character, Emma and her stranger/CEO end up going on a date. Because he knows all the ins and outs to her likes and dislikes, she figures it will be the best date ever. However, she quickly realizes thats not the case: half the fun is getting to know someone and partly putting up a facade as well. He orders everything she likes, only for her to note that she still is up for trying something different. She spills her secrets and he feels he's known her all her life only to have her retort, "You don't know me at all!"

Aren't some things just more interesting with a chase? Wouldn't men rather kill their dinner themselves than have someone else go through all the fun of the hunt and end up with a piece of meat served to them on a silver plate topped with a piece of parsley?

Is it good to keep secrets? I was always told that a woman must never reveal the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help her God to anyone. It adds to mystery. But when you find someone you like a lot, and trust, how much is too much information? Shouldn't they be eager to find out? Don't we want them to ask because asking shows interest? Shouldn't they be almighty protectors of our deepest darkest fears and ambitions, shielding us in any way possible from things like discouragement and self-doubt?

In the book, once the ugly truths are out and all secrets are told, the main character fairs well. She feels much better, clearer in head in fact, on her life. No more barriers, no more facade, no more faking. If you cannot be open with those you love, then what's the point?

It's not enough from an Islamic point of view to say, "Allah (swt) knows best. We should confide in Him and Him alone." Agreed, but didn't the Prophet (saw) have companions? Didn't he discuss issues with Aisha (ra)? Isn't it stated somewhere that she is one of the truest sources of hadith because she was the one with sharp memory and one who spent a lot of time with the Prophet (saw) after one of his revelations?

I wish I could be honest with people, to its truest extent but the truth is Ive hidden myself from the ugly truths of my life. If I cant deal with it, believe me no one else would want any part! Right? Or it is just a simple case of finding someone Im comfortable enough with who will pull me from my walls and bring me to a higher level of appreciation of myself? Is there anyone out there willing to listen and offer advice and never, ever throw it back in my face when things get rough?

I feel like nowadays no one trusts anyone anymore -- more importantly no one trusts Allah (swt) anymore. People want to know EVERYTHING under the sun up front! And then after finding out certain things, they are used as ammunition and become turn-offs. We don't all have the same upbringing, values, ideals -- we dont have the same experiences. Is someone's past so bad that you give up the opportunity to learn from it and build a future? Why do we jump to conclusions about a person's character based on a few mistakes? Shouldn't we give ourselves the chance to see whether or not we can make things work? Doesnt honesty count for something?

Everyone has secrets, some more grave than others. Im not sure Im ready to air out all of my zaney-ness. Its so true what they say about me: You think you know, but you have no idea --- quite honestly because I dont have any idea either. I dont want to be easy and unimportant -- like parsley! I want someone to tell me all about myself. I want them to notice the quirky things about me as I take notice of all the inner workings of their mind and emotions.

Why accept hand-outs when you can have first-hand experiences of your own?

:D

SEPTA GUY: HOW I LOATHE THEE!

Now, I realize my life is pretty damn chock full of irony, but nothing boils my blood more than the situation with my SEPTA pass. SEPTA is the rail service and bus service of Pennsylvania. I take a commuter rail to and from work every day. THe cost for my zone is approximately $120. I religiously buy my SEPTA card and the collector religiously misses me each and every single day! BOILS MY BLOOD! HELLO?!?!?! Ask me for my ticket god dammit! I paid enough for it!

I have to buy my monthly pass in advance to gain full benefit, so I cant even say that one day Im just going to go cold and not buy one at all and see if I get asked for it. IF you buy your ticket on the train it's an extra two dollar surcharge on top of the already outrageous price for attempting to save the environment by taking public transportation.

Of course today I didnt get asked for my ticket/pass. As the collector walked past me I felt like jumping up and shouting HEY and throwing it at him, but alas, I did no such thing. It's because I was engrossed in my book. Yet, another reason to keep me pre-occupied on my commute.

:D

Ides of March: Backstabbers Holiday

Today, March 15th, is best known as The Ides of March, the day that Julius Caesar, Roman military and political leader credited for the transformation of the Roman Republic (government by the people) into that of the Roman Empire (autocratic form of government), was assassinated by his close friend, Marcus Brutus; literally stabbed in the back. It is from this tragedy that the phrase, Keep your friends close but your enemies closer, stems from.

Lost in Translation

Some things seem good in theory, in our dreams, in our hearts and on paper but have no base in reality.
I don't know why we want things that are not good for us.
I dont know what will bring satisfaction if there is always that lingering feeling of what if.
Why dont we heed our mind's warnings?
Why do we cause ourselves pain?

Its a cruel joke to figure you will attempt to write your own story thinking you know what is best. Despite what happened, or didnt happen, it's only a piece of paper. It will never be the whole story.