Friday, April 20, 2007

Elevator Humor -- I Had To!

Elevator Magic
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?"

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"
***********
Crowded Elevator

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Silverman became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous young blonde woman.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Silverman, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"

Bewildered, Mr. Silverman was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I didn't pinch that girl."

"Of course you didn't," replied his wife, consolingly. "I did."
***********
Ballroom

This guy's in the rear of a full elevator and he shouts, "Ballroom please." A lady standing in front of him turns around and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was crowding you."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fun things to do in an elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back
for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Meow occassionally.

Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.

Start a sing-along.

Shadow box.

The Brown Girl said...

Khizzles, you're fabulous. Finder of all things -- even sparkly pakistan flags! :P