ATTENTION LADIES!

Lies, all lies! Why?! Why did she have to tell me??

(...now I know the brothers are listening too!)

This girl on the train this morning was applying her makeup. She looked so ridiculous. She was breaking an unspoken code amongst women. She was letting guys in on the secret that some women need makeup to look good. Why on God's green earth would any woman give herself up like that?

Over the weekend I had a group of girls over and we were discussing this topic. Some things are best kept secret from fathers, brothers, husbands, etc. One friend disagreed and said the facade would wear off eventually and thats just a fact of life.

I think women should remain mysterious to their spouses at all times. Guys are simple, keeping them in the dark is not a huge, impossible feat. Allow them to believe you always smell like vanilla and spice and everything nice, always.

The guy sitting next to the girl on the train had this total look of disgust on his face. I couldnt tell if he was her boyfriend or not, but at that moment he looked soo turned off by her he could have passed for her gay best friend. He looked like a child on Christmas morning who just found out Santa Claus isnt real and he has no presents because his father is in jail.

Men cannot handle the truth when it comes to their spouses' looks. I realize that eventually everything gets old and he will ultimately find out your eyes are not grey, so my friends and I came up with the happy medium solution to give it your all for ATLEAST the first 2 years of marriage. After that, homeboy's on his own. He'll just have to get over it.

So back to "show-and-tell-all" girl, she kept applying coat after coat after coat of mascara (she even switched tubes. How she STILL didnt have noticeable lashes after that is beyond me.) The guy next to her turned out to be her boyfriend. The girl's friend seated across the isle outed the guy by saying, "Jill, Im sure Greg is grossed out by this." (of course she noticed it, too, everyone on the train did. He's not blind.) Greg puts his arm around Jill's shoulders and gives her a hug, but the hug was so much more of a "Hey buddy, don't sweat it. We'll make it to the playoffs next year." type of a hug that lead me to believe there are just some things best kept secret from men.

Ladies, what a man doesnt know wont hurt him; what you tell him will most surely kill him!