Now unless you're an only child, you'll completely understand this post.
For those of us who have younger siblings, call it a right of passage, call it DUES, or what have you -- but we've all made them PAY the price for dethrowning us from being the spoiled, bratty, youngest.
In our house, its no different. It doesnt help that they grew up with me and my wicked sense of humor.
One summer night, my khala's family was visiting. After dinner, everyone went upstairs leaving me and my cousin downstairs in the family room playing video games. (yeah obviously this is from eons ago) Dude was annoying the hell outta me, not becausing he was winning. He was just being obnoxious for no reason. He gets up for water and pours himself a glass from the pitcher on the table. The pitcher was one of these old, silver containers Ma got from Pakistan to remind herself she was Pakistani (?!?!?) or something. (I'm sure if you're Indian/Pakistani Im sure you've seen one of these before)
Me: What did you do?
Him: got some water
Me: From where?
Him: (only half paying attention to me) the jug on the table
Me: Why?
Him: (eyes snap over to me) What do you mean why?
Me: Thats not drinking water. Thats snake slime.
Him: What?
Me: Snake slime. OhmyGOD, you drank some? How much?!
Him: A whole glass. What is it?!
Me: Didnt I ever tell you about my mom?
Him: No.
Me: Billoo Khala's a witch.
Him: What?!
Me: Yeah, she doesnt like boys, so she mixes this stuff up to turn boys into girls.
Him: No way! How do you know that?
Me: Yeah haan, why do you think she only has GIRLS?? You're going to become a girl.
He started to cry. Like taking candy from a baby, he started to cry on demand. Its an inside joke now.
My eldest sister once says to me: Farah, want some chocolate.
(HELL YEAH I want some chocolate!) She says its crushed. And we're supposed to put it in milk and stir it up like chocolate milk. She says its better if you eat it straight from the can. She grabs a spoon and spoons it out. She hands it to me.
All I can think is, Wow, I woulda never looked in the spices rack for chocolate -- Ma hid that well, as I close my eyes and wait for that sweet chocolate flavor to tickle my buds.
EYES FLY OPEN, in a choking fit I spit out the grainy contents of... COFFEE CRYSTALS. yuckk!
...so naturally history repeated itself with my younger sister. She fell for it, too. Why do these little people trust us so?? I cant wait to have children, iA!!
My mom, who is 12 years elder to her youngest bro, once got so annoyed by him while ironing she went to tease him with the hot iron saying she was going to stick it on him when he moved (as frisky toddlers do) and she ended up synging the top of his left foot. The skin all came off. Ok that was wayyy cruel and unusual (and its a wonder we survived).
One friend told his sister that the supermarket scanners had aliens in them, running faster than the speed of light back and forth to do price checks. The red lights were just what was left behind from them going back and forth so fast. He said they were mean and they would go through you and take bits of your soul with them if you got in their way. She was sad once and he told her they stole her "happy" away. Cruel, soo cruel. But she NEVER wanted to work in a grocery store after that. And her parents, not knowing the cruel joke, would always say, "If you dont get good grades in school, you'll end up working in a grocery store." She actually used that in her Med School application essay.
Its not all for nothing. We do it with love. And its all for the better. The coffee incident kept me away from coffee for the longest time. Until I came to the big city and noticed coffeehouses everywhere that is.
2 comments:
Funny but can also be very dangerous!!
Me and my bro used to do these kinds of things all the time but made it more interesting by daring each other .... Unfortunately it meant we picked up some injuries on the way ..... Such as him poking me in the eye with a sharp pencil which resulted in me going to the hospital [I don’t even remember what the dare was!], giving me a black eye when we were playing some kind of ball game and even knocking out my front tooth when I was little kid. The injuries I ‘inflicted’ him with were pretty much the same. Think the worse thing I ever did to him was when he was 11 and I was 8. My mum was making roti and I had dared him to poke the ‘air’ out of one of them when my mum turned away. He agreed and did some kind of weird karate chop and elbowed it which caused some major burns all over his upper arm ......... Idiot!
The joys of growing up!!
[I know your post wasn’t about playing ‘deadly games’ with your siblings – Ignore me... I always seem to go off topic!]
yeah we got war stories that go along with our scars too..
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