hyPATHETICal situations

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Im changing shampoos. Homegirl behind me in line at Starbucks sniffed my hair. Yeah it was funny how I caught her: I turned around and she was leaning in eyes closed and I look at her and she opened her eyes and blinked. I just laughed and turned back around.

Friday - finally. I am going to watch "300" tonight and I cant wait! The movie can be summed up in two words: TESTOSTERONE-OVERDOSE! 117 minutes of Dominic West and sweaty, dirty, muscular men in little to no clothing, graphic fighting scenes and piles of men on top of each other (like after the last snap of a tie-breaking game on the 1 yard line -- yes Im battling football withdrawal). Once will not be enough, I shall be back.

This past week has gone by pretty fast. The week had a recurrent theme: weird dreams, and since I am very fascinated in dream interpretation (and quite good if I may say so) everyone kept passing along their dreams to me to interpret. I was so busy (im such a good friend) that I completely neglected my own dream and was reminded of it last night while I was reading. My book was too interesting so I didnt blog it right away. I neglected my dreams and they went away. Yes, the past TWO nights I have been dreamless. Isnt that soo sad? How do you not dream? I know we all dream and it is possible that I may have dreamt and it was in a stage of sleep so deep that I dont remember it. (You did know there were different stages of sleep, right? 5 basic stages including REM sleep) We have several dreams every night; however, most only remember the last dream they have before waking, or the dream that startles them awake.

So, two nights ago I had this dream of being trapped in an old house from which I could not escape. The strange thing was that I had been trapped in the house before and had managed to flee and in my dream I was looking for the exact same escape route but to no avail. So according to literature, to feel trapped signifies that you are feeling confined and restricted in your job, career, health, or a personal relationship. You may be in a rut or tired of the same daily monotony. No surprises, there.

A house signifies your soul and self. The house was old and this represents old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. It could mean a situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update your mode of thinking.

Why is it that we know things to be true, but dont believe it until we hear someone else (or in this case an interpretation) tell us? This all makes sense. My life is a constant dynamic and Ive been flexible in the past. So why now is it so hard to shake fears, and nagging feelings that lurk in the background forcing their way front and center? Perhaps the more years we age, the older our past gets and as with anything you keep for a long time we grow more attached to it day in and day out.

Ma has a way of keeping me in the dark forever and then immediately switching on the light and blinding me with her words. Her trick is to catch me off guard, like in the morning while Im getting ready for work so Im distracted by other things and what she says doesnt quite sink in but I agree to it. So Im being set-up, yet again, God only knows how this will turn out. But I agreed to it, unknowingly, and now I cant back out.

I shall promise to remain guarded and optimistic at all times until I find the one key to unlock the one place in my heart where no man has been allowed to enter.

All hearts are locked, all locks have keys. Some hearts are broken into and robbed, unfortunately. Some locks get keyed and forced to fit a key that otherwise would be no match at all. Some hearts have state-of-the-art alarm systems. Some intruders set-off all alarms which we choose to ignore, while others are immediatly recognized as false alarms and dismissed. Sometimes we hold people hostage in our heart, as POWs. Sometimes SWAT must come in and clean-up. Our hearts are always being renovated to accomodate people, even temporary tenants that cause mass destruction, forcing us to keep their security deposit as ransom (rings, t-shirts, sweatshirts, hair?).

We're looking for keys to open our locks, but what we dont realize is that we have keys, too. We can unlock our hearts at will for family, friends, and even strangers. We make duplicate keys; some get lost, some we demand they give back. If not, we just change the locks.

Marriage is a 50/50 crapshoot; but we hold the dice. Let go of your inhibitions and just roll.