Why I dont Eat Cauliflower (Gobi)

As we age, tastes mature and somehow we start liking things that used to make us gag. Taking my food post from before one step further, I shall tell the tale of why its been nearly 12 years since I ate cauliflower.

One very hot summer my cousins had come to visit us. Even with limited resources, we somehow managed to find entertainment in everything. It was about high noon and we had just come inside from the pool and Ma had lunch waiting for us: gobi aloo with naan. We all ate. My mother left to go to some Auntie's house and left us children at home. My youngest sister began to feel a little queasy (could it be that she was doing jumping jacks while she was eating after having gone swimming all morning -- ya think???) She vomitted. EVERYWHERE. And I kid you not what came out has scarred me for life: aloo gobi ulti.

Now, my favorite question of my mother has always been: How in the world do you women not cringe when your child tosses up his cookies. The response has always been, "Beta, your child is the most important thing to you. Its part of you. When you seem them in pain or trouble you forget everything else. When you're a mother, you'll know."

Well inshallah CUBED to that one, cuz so far: it aint happening. And it didnt happen that day either. My eldest sister runs over to my youngest sister and goes down for the count after she gets a whiff. I pysche myself up, I can do this, I can do this. As Im saying the words, I taste bile and its OVER before it even begins. I have a SERIOUSLY disturbed gag reflex comparable to non-existence.

And yes, I puked aloo gobi. And might I add (for effect, especially for those of you who loveeee aloo gobi): It looked the same as it did when it went down.

Now, a little over ten years later I think to myself: I can do it. I can eat aloo gobi. I called my Khala over the weekend for tips on cooking cauliflower. Convo went a little something like this:

Me: Baba Khala, I want to make gobi but Ive never done it before and Ma's busy. Should I get fresh gobi or buy it frozen?
BK: Gobi? Are you sure?
Me: Yeah. Ok, no, but I have a friend who's vegetarian and I think she's had enough of my aloo palak. Its for her.
BK: Yeah, I didnt think you were that brave.

(ouch!)

Now, as if the thought of gobi ulti wasnt enough to put me off it for life, in my field of work people make analogies for things they see. What do they liken everything to? Food. HPV genital warts -- I kid you NOT, ask me for a pic -- look like a head of cauliflower. Spaghetti and meatballs: trichomonads and leptothrix (STD), sheesh kabab: the effect of candida albicans on squamous cells.

The day something reminds someone of chocolate, I QUIT!