Friday, March 23, 2007

Open Mouth, Insert Foot


I have never been sooooooo ashamed of my big mouth in my LIFE!

Yesterday afternoon at work:
Laur: Wanna go to MAC tonight, cuz I have to swing by Tiffanys. I got my boyfriend cuff-links and had them engraved. He's wearing them at the cruise dinner this weekend.
Me: He's wearing a tux?
Laur: Yeah. Want to go?
Me: yeah sure.

After work:

Laur: Oh, [boyfriend] is here.
Me: He's coming, too? (said with a "there's no more cookies left in the world at all???" tone)
Laur: Yeah, its ok. Its not a couple's thing. He'll just come with us. He's here early.

We meet [boyfriend] and head down to MAC. On the way there:
[boyfriend]: Im just wearing a suit (tot he cruise)
Me: Wait, she got you Tiffany cuff-links (mofo) you gotta wear a tux with those.(disclaimer: mofo is a term of endearment, Laur, cuz I really approve of this guy, its all love... in a we-shared-the-same-womb-at-one-point kind of way.)

(one mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi -- queer awkward silence and not just cuz we're in the gayborhood)
Laur: no i didnt.
[boyfriend]: (puzzled)

Ohhhhhhhhhhh snap! Yeah. You guessed right. I gave away her $200-I-love-you-so-hard-engraved-Tiffany-surprise!

(...and I still gotta go shopping with these two, mind you. I couldnt just bounce.)

I couldnt apologize enough. I really couldnt. And there I was, looking for eyeliner half angry, half wanting to cry, SHE NEVER SAID IT WAS A SURPRISE. Thats my story and Im stickin' to it. I swear she made it sound like homeboy knew he was wearin' a tux. And at the moment he said he was suitin' it to the cruise, Im like, "How typical?", and so I had to tell 'em something.....and I ended up saying too much.

Its not the first time........it's definitely not the last: To love me is to hate me. To hate me is to know me. To know me is to accept me. To accept me is to wish you'd never met me.

:)

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