According to the Prophet (saw), there are four reasons to marry a woman: "her wealth, her lineage, her beauty or her religion. When it comes down to decision time, he (saw) has advised, "choose the one who is religious, may your hands be rubbed with dust!"
Of all the things, I find the beauty deal to be a bit puzzling. (relax: Im not questioning, Im merely stating my confusion) First of all, Muslimahs are to be covered from non-mehram men (men to whom one can possibly be married) at all times from head to toe. Second of all, you are allowed one look and one look only. Thirdly, and this is the funniest, what business does a bearded, namazi-parhaiz (punctual prayee), humble man have checking out a woman? Eyes to the floor all of you!
So, based on that, how do you judge a beauty by her cover?
Allow me, please.
Could it be that beauty truly is skin deep? Could it be that the beauty the Prophet (saw) is speaking of is none other than human decency under an alias? Is it sharam? Is it adab? When is a woman more beautiful than when she is speaking of Allah (swt) with compassion in her heart and tears in her eyes? What about the widowed young woman with four young sons who brings them to the masjid for Jummah herself because she has no male who will do it for her? How beautiful is the woman who, for the sake of Allah (swt) and Islam, quits her high paying job to do pro bono work in South Africa?
A friend once said to his brothers, "The most beautiful girl in the world, will look hideous to you when she dishonors you. You won't want to even lay a finger on her. And the average girl will look gorgeous, when she honors you and syncs with you, and you will find that is the beauty that lasts a life time."
No one said it was easy. The task is a difficult one. But it is not impossible. It shouldn't take all day, to recogize sunshine, and insha'Allah, if you allow yourself to recognize beauty, you will see it in places you never would have imagined. Think and see. You may surprise yourself once you realize the covered ones have nothing to hide, while the ones not covered could you some layering.
I pray that whatever it is you find beauty in, remains beautiful to you beyond forever, iA. and that you are not blind-sighted by your own greed or ignorance.
Note: blind-sighted (not blind-sided) is my own word. It means to have blind sight. Yes, its a bit of an oxymoron, but when you think about it, it means unguided sight, or ignorance.
2 comments:
Here's what I think.
Islam does not try to deny human instinct - the fact that men and women do have a superficial level. Physical attraction is important to a degree, but there is much more than that.
You have described the different levels of beauty - particularly those of character....and while human decency is a beautiful thing, it does not mean that there should not be a physical level of attraction, especially at the beginnings of a marriage. Looks fade, but at the beginning of a relationship they will definitely help you get closer with your spouse and assist in building your relationship.
walaikum asalaam.
both are meaningul comments. theres so much to consider and i find it haunting to know that ppl are so facetious in making their decision.
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