How I Managed To Miss Mother's Day

So I was all set to go to my parents' home Friday afternoon until... I lost my glasses. I was due for a new prescription anyway so I decided to get an exam done and scheduled one for Saturday morning. The next day, Saturday, I get into my car, parked conveniently right infront of my apartment -- long story --theres a parking spot for me behind the house but I no longer park there because of the uneven pavement and bushes that hold God knows what kinds of rabid animals, but getting back to my story -- parallel parked on the street, right at the corner of an intersection -- not a complete intersection but there is a side street that bisects the street I live on. Anyway, I get in my car, pull my seatbelt on, check everything and check traffic to see if I can pull out or not. I see this black SUV coming down the street. I stop to let her and other cars pass. The black SUV is turning right. Im at the corner. SUV cuts the corner too close -- too close to my car -- she swipes my car and proceeds down the street.

Wait... what the hell?! Was I just in an accident? Yes, yes I was dammit and I know it because theres that telltale sick feeling in my stomach. Wait, where's the SUV? She's still driving? Oh my God, OHMIGOD, Im in a hit and run!? Me?! Usually Im the one hitting people and I always stop. How can this be?

Before I know it I realize I cant give chase with my car -- so I throw off the seatbelt, jump outta my car, cringe at the damage -- really preparing myself for the worst --, and run after the SUV, who finally decides to stop. I walk up to the passenger side. Its a female. She opens her door all, "Hey, what time is it?" mannered asking something along the lines of did we just have an accident? So she didnt believe it either.

Me: You didnt see me stopped at the corner?! You just took my bumper off and kept going!
SVU Lady: Oh, Im so sorry I didnt see you at all.
Me: You didnt see me stopped at the corner?! You just took my bumper off and kept going! *I dont know why I felt the need to repeat myself*
SVU Lady: Oh gosh, are you ok. Are you hurt?
Me: You didnt see me STOPPED at the corner -- yeah you know the story I repeated myself and Im not sure if it was because Ive been rusty from not having been in an accident in awhile or if I was just angry or if I was just in happy shock from having it NOT be my fault for once.

Now here's where all the really odd stuff starts happening. Like ok, this is where you have to stop and say, "Allah, ya got me. Ya got me and ya got me good because everything is going off like planned."

We're both in shock, yet we manage to get each others insurance info: we have the same company - thats good so I think. I call 911. She says theres no need. Im not hanging up if it means saving my life! We exchange information -- I know Im dreaming because how I manage to find all my stuff -- insurance card, registration and license AND a pen -- all in one spot is beyond me. A tow truck pulls up infront of her SUV.

Tow Truck Man: You ladies need help?
Me: Im sorry, did I call you? (no seriously who was I on the phone with?...)
TTM: Heh, no I was just driving down the street.
Me: Good, then I did call 911
Now, at this point I want to cry ...
Me: My car! Look, oh, what?, I dont know, can you fix it? Can you just push it back... up... maybe?
TTM (real smooth talker): Its an easy fix but not that easy.

The cop arrives.
Me: I was stopped at the corner. She didnt see me at -- etc etc etc.

I tell him the what the who the where the how, I feel like Im a five year old who just saw a sibling take a cookie from the cookie jar -- Im a natural snitch. I tell him I have her insurance info, she's got mine.

Cop guy: Well, it looks like eveythings done. (laughingly)
Me: Well, can you atleast write something, I mean a report or something. (Hey, Im still new here, theres a lot of things we do differently south of the Mason-Dixon line.)
Cop guy: Yes, Im going to do that. (if he was annoyed he didnt look it. he was very friendly and infact everyone was --the guy who was towing my car while I was trying to take stuff out of it --and especially the hooch that hit me -- she was my new best friend.)

It happened at 11:26am. My father calls me at 11:30am -- Im telling you my family has a weird connection (not ESPN haha -- but more like broadband) I tell him I cant talk and hang up.

Within minutes it seems its all said and done. My car is towed. Im left with a bunch of slips of paper with lots of numbers on them. The police report is like top secret so I dont get a copy, but the officer shows me what he wrote. He assesses the situation nicely. Me, parked. She sideswiped my car. Im pleased with the report. The tow truck guy, Joe, assesses the situation: by the looks of it, its obvious who's at fault: she hit your car. The SUV lady, assesses the situation: I didnt see you at all. Was in a hurry trying to get to the bank. I didnt mean to hit your car.

Sounds like a done deal, no? Nope. OF COURSE NOT. If it was all that cut and dry would I be bloggging about? First of all, if it were that cut and dry it wouldnt be MY story. :)

I get inside and call the insurance company again, to verify information: my biggest and only mistake? Not calling the insurance company again with the SUV lady there. Because yes, you guessed it... the SUV told a different story to the insurance company which if you recall happens to be MY insurance company too and I can assure you -- its not so easy a caveman can do it!

Now here's where I know Im not dreaming and this is all reality: I dont have collision on my car -- no need -- its ours and paid for. She is always travelling, has a 2005 Lexus Truck ergo has comprehensive on her vehicle. Now, sadly, insurance companies are the biggest fraud and blatant blatant theivery known to mankind, legally, and theres nothing we can do about it -- best said its like being robbed in broad day light wiht a cop watching. Anyway, of the two of us it is to the insurance company's advantage to find me at fault because then they are not liable for anything. The insurance lady gives me a call after talking to the SUV lady and says, point blank, that the SUV lady has issued a different story. My knee-jerk reaction, "And you're just going to believe her because it suits your purpose?" So now we have to wait until Monday when this Michael ARCH ANGEL OF INSURANCE ADJUSTERS will review the case and decide/assess blame.

Im hoping at this point that all they are waiting for until Monday is the police report which of course they dont have yet. I am hoping that they use that as irrefutable evidence and find her at fault.

So now I have no car. I could not go down to visit my parents, but Alhamdullilah I have my health and it really could have been worse. My parents were in DE visiting my sister's mother-in-law who is sick and so I called them and told them of the accident. Of course they were worried even though I told them I had everything under control. They came to visit me instead. They only stayed hardly 25 minutes because my younger sister was at home and they didnt bring her because she knew I was coming down to visit as a surprise so when they got back from my sister's they would see that I was there.

This is the LAST time I ever tell anyone my plans or make them for that matter. I dont know what the reason was for this mishap to occur. Perhaps my not going home saved me from a worser fate? God knows.

Anyway, I realized yesterday just how dependent I am, still, on my parents. I dont know what I would do without them. Just.. them being there...made everything better. They always help out and ask for nothing but a phone call every now and then in return. Their generation was a generation of hard workers. They worked, and saved. Worked and saved. I have no idea how but mA there is barkat in what they earned. I have nothing. I am nothing. There is nothing independent about me. Before my father left he cut me a check for the cost of my bumper and incidentals (ie cabfare to and from the city so I dont have to incur any hardship getting to and from work)

How many people can say they have parents like that? Im one of the lucky ones. It hit me all of a sudden like a monster truck to the brain that there is so much more to marriage then I am ready to take on right now. Its complicated, but stuff like providing for a family in a world that demands two incomes to survive and raise a family. I cant take care of myself. I crumble like a deck of cards and would much rather let my father figure it out. As I tried to decide logistics of still managing to go home for the weekend my father says to me, "Just get your things and let's go. I'll come back to drop you off. Its not a problem." Not a problem? Its completely out of his way. I feel helpless looking at my parents who just that morning said they worry about me so much. Do they deserve that stress?

I mention how I thought about not telling them at all and my father got upset. "Why are you saying that?," he demanded to know. "We want you to come to us whenever there is a problem. You should tell us. We want to know."

False sense of independence. Co-dependence cloaked in independence. I hope and pray that Allah (swt) gives me the ability to make them happy and satisfied at their own accomplishments that they left no stone unturned in their pursuit of a better living for their children. They raised us with certain ideals, certain principles and I will not let them doubt themselves. I only hope and pray that iA one day I can be to my children what my parents are to me.

Could that be my lesson learned, lesson reminded? If so, then it all makes sense now.