Where's the Fire?

I went to my sister's place in DE last night to spend the night. My brother-in-law was going out of town, and she didnt want to be alone. (Why do women call me when their HUSBANDS leave?!?)

Sidenote: How alone can a woman with two children be? Better yet, am I the only woman in the world who loves being alone? I'd spend Friday nights alone in my apartment if the people in my life didnt have plans all the time!

The evening was very nice, aside from my nephew's constant crazy ideas that there were monsters in every closet. Honestly, I was soooo relishing the idea of being his hero. I told him there were no such things as monsters and ghosts, etc. I told him that Allah (swt) protects all children always. Now, on paper or verbally that sounds great, but when I had to go downstairs by myself in the dark to prove MY point, I had to laugh at my own silly fears of Jinn in my bathroom and black smoke materializing out of thin air into the shape of a young boy who could possibly have died behind my apartment (thats a post saved for a rainy day). Funny how when you have to deal with someone else's fears, yours suddenly seem non-existent.

I realized yesterday that having children is a 24/7 gig. Not that I didnt know that before.. but I KNOW now, consciously. I mean they're high maintenance, and drama queens like myself might need to check themselves and their hopes of having 5... or 6 iA cuz my sister's 2 seemed like 20. My favorite game? Simon says. (Kids will do ANYTHING Simon says!) They were screaming and jumping around so I said, Simon says be quiet. They complied and that lead to Simon says dont jump on the bed. Simon says lay down. Simon says go to sleep.

Idrees: Farah Khala, make Simon say something exciting!
LOL. He musta mistook me for Sarah Khala, my younger sister. How crazy are his Khalas? Here's a text message from my younger, allergy-ridden sibling: OMG! I just realized that pollen is plant spermies!

Hahaha. Just when I think it cant get any better...someone related to me speaks up!

FYI: To the one who tipped me off about Baskin Robin's $0.31 cent scoop night -- I'm going to get a voodoo doll in your name and rip off each limb one by one! My sister has a treadmill, but its in her basement. I get ready to go down there to workout and she says, ever so nonchalantly, "Becareful of the spiders and bugs." I bounce back quickly, saying "You know what. I think I ran this morning, I'll be ok." thanking God silently that my nephew was nowhere around to witness HERO Khala have a conniption over "harmless little 6 and 8 legged creations of Allah (swt)" Harmless my non-existent left nut!!!!! I'd welcome a whole race of Jinn into my closet, personally, before I'd ever let a bug go free!

Anyway, I had to get up really early in the morning because I did not want to get stuck in traffic. I left around 6:30a, and as Im hitting 95 Im thinking, is it tomorrow already?. I feel like today is just a continuum of yesterday.

I'm not taking any chances so Im blazing down the highway, 80-85mph. Not for nothing, but there was no reason. I hadnt seen any hints of traffic yet but I really didnt want to get caught in it. All of a sudden, I see lights, flashing lights behind me. Oh shit! Actually what I said begins with an "f" and ends in "-uck".

I pull over. The cop doesnt immediately get out. Where am I? Am I in DE? What's the deal with DE again? Oh. Right. The judge at traffic court is a prick!
COP: 'Morning. Where's the fire?
Me: Good morning. What fire?
Cop: You know how fast you were going?
(I say nothing but look up at him.)
Cop: License and registration.
(Theres the "f" word again, at the tip of my tongue. That'll be the day I find my license and registration where it should be. That day is not today.)
Cop: Where are you coming from?
Me: Im visiting a relative in DE.
(Obviously, I know I have MD tags and Im heading towards PA, yet I was in DE for a visit -- doesnt look well.)
Me: Im looking for my registration, this is my dad's car.
Cop: My partner called your car in. You flew right by him, he couldnt even get a description of your car. He said it was a purple haze.
Me: Slate blue.
Cop: Excuse me?
(Oops, was that out loud?)
Me: The color of my car is slate blue.
Cop: I didnt know they made V12 Sentras.
Me: They do if you know the right people.
(Is he flirting with me?)
Cop: Insurance card?
(I guess not.)

His "partner" pulls up behind me. What the hell??

Me: You called for backup? I'm flattered. I havent even had my coffee yet. To top that off, I think I have two cracked ribs from where my 5 year old nephew kept kicking me in his sleep, most likely fighting off the boogey man.
Cop looks up.
Me: I dont usually drive fast. Im on my way to the hospital, to work. I really didnt want to get stuck in this traffic. (There's like four cars on the street at that time.. and three are ours. I swear nothing works to my advantage ever!)
The other cop gets out. Damn.
Me: How fast was I going?
Cop: I'm going to have to give you a written warning. 25 miles over the speed limit, you really should be careful. Hold tight for a second.

He walks over to his car and meets up with the other. The two cops "chat". I wait. And wait. ... and wait. I imagine all kinds of information they're looking up about me based on my driving record, cursing myself for ever driving in the first place. V12 Sentra... hey thats pretty funny.

The cop comes back, hands me my stuff. One last thing...
Cop: Be careful driving. You know what happens to a person in a 90 mph collision?
Me: (of course I do, I took Driver's Ed -- 80 years back) Thank you officer. I will be more careful.

He didnt give me anything to sign. No slips of paper? Where's my written warning? I didnt stick around to ask. As I was pulling out I started to notice traffic, but Alhamdulillah I got to work way ahead of time and accident and ticket or written warning-free.

That ordeal over, I decided to go to South Philly and get coffee and donuts for the gang. This was the first time EVER that the Indian staff of a Dunkin Donuts has ever been rude to me. Since it was the first, I was a little shocked.. but I had to laugh it off.

It could have been worse, way worse.